I can't believe it's been five years. Did you hear that? FIVE YEARS.
Time sure flies when you're bloggin' about parties, friends, being single, not being single, love, heartbreak, dead relatives, crazy living relatives, politics, music, annoying roommates, working with mentally challenged people, and participating in every meme that comes your way.
I wish I could say that a lot has changed for me, and this blog, in the past five years, but really it hasn't. I'm the same ol' Abigail Road. I work and play and get depressed, and have good things happen to me. I've lost contact with some friends that were always mentioned in my earlier blog posts, but have made new ones, and they are fantastic...they're my family.
But, my life is starting to change faster than I ever imagined, and I hope that in the next year I will have new stories to tell all my faithful readers.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and my sporadic blog all these years, and welcome to all the new readers. ( I know who you are, I stalk you on my Stat Counter.)
I promise, the best is yet to come.
Love,
Abigail
Dec 20, 2008
Dec 12, 2008
Grace in Small Things #4
1. Although I'm bored out of my mind right now, tomorrow night will be tons o' fun.
2. My new Converse All Stars came in the mail today.
3. I get to sleep in on Sunday.
4. I have convinced one friend so far to take Aquacise with me.
2. My new Converse All Stars came in the mail today.
3. I get to sleep in on Sunday.
4. I have convinced one friend so far to take Aquacise with me.
Dec 11, 2008
Grace in Small Things #3
1. I'm sitting here planning my wedding and a trip to Thailand.
2. After losing 15 games a row on Wordbiz, I won one, and good.
3. I already have my booze for the Gals Christmas Bash on Saturday night.
4. The apartment is getting cleaner and cleaner everyday.
5. CBC noticed my bags, and they want to put me on the TV.
6. The Christmas Chaos is almost planned, and should work out well. I should hopefully get to see a little bit of everybody this year.
7. I lost 6 pounds.
8. My eczema seems to be clearing up a bit.
9. I got to play and cuddle tonight with the kitty Smyrish and I rescued, since I'm pet sitting for Film Star.
10. My Christmas shopping is almost finished.
2. After losing 15 games a row on Wordbiz, I won one, and good.
3. I already have my booze for the Gals Christmas Bash on Saturday night.
4. The apartment is getting cleaner and cleaner everyday.
5. CBC noticed my bags, and they want to put me on the TV.
6. The Christmas Chaos is almost planned, and should work out well. I should hopefully get to see a little bit of everybody this year.
7. I lost 6 pounds.
8. My eczema seems to be clearing up a bit.
9. I got to play and cuddle tonight with the kitty Smyrish and I rescued, since I'm pet sitting for Film Star.
10. My Christmas shopping is almost finished.
Dec 2, 2008
Reptile Hands
One Sunday morning, about 20 years ago or so, I woke up and my fingers were stuck together. At first, I was scared. I thought that somehow, in the middle of the night, my fingers had become webbed, and wondered if I was going to have to go to the doctor to get them cut apart. Going to school on Monday with webbed fingers, was not on my to-do list.
As it turned out, they weren't webbed. It was eczema, and a darn good case of it.
For the next ten years or so, I battled with the oozy blisters, and the hard, peeling skin on my hands. I learned to loathe my hands, and their ugliness. If I was having a break-out, which was often, I kept my hands tucked into my sleeves, and when those lovely teenage years hit, I was always weary of boys who wanted to hold my hand at the movies. I just didn't want them to be grossed out.
Occasionally, it got so bad, that I would have to wear mittens all day, or pretend that I had sprained my wrist, and wear a tensor bandage for a week, just to hide the blisters. I became very good at hiding it.
I tried everything. My doctor prescribed tons of creams, that never worked, or only worked once. My mom was very good at making sure I always had my own special soaps, lotions, make-up, that was hypo-allergenic, and fragrance-free....and back then, those things were hard to come by. I didn't wear cheap-o jewellery, and tried to stay away from all the things that caused me to break-out, which was everything from oranges, to the grass on the lawn. The aloe vera plant would help take away the itch, and dry out the blisters, but in the end, left me with peeling, dry fingers.
And then one day....it went away. For the past few years, I haven't had a break out of eczema. I get the occasional dry patch somewhere on my body, and I know that if I wear eyeshadow for more than 2 days in a row, my eyelids will dry out and peel, but that's it. My doctor had told me right from the start that I would probably "grow out of it", and one day it wouldn't be a problem. I thought he was right.
This past October however, it came back for a visit. My hands started to look wrinkly and red again. A couple small blisters showed up. It was itchy beyond belief. A friend gave me some aloe vera leaves, and it cleared up right away. I was ever so grateful.
Then last night, as I watched Law and Order and ate pizza, I noticed that my hands felt as if they were swelling. They weren't swelling, I knew what it was. I took a look, and low and behold....blisters. Little tiny oozy blisters between the fingers of my left hand. I washed it and dried it well, and spent the rest of the night popping the little bastards. This morning, they are dried out a wee bit...but they're still there.
I'm out of ideas, and I don't want to end up one of those folks who are hospitalized for full-body eczema.
Help?
As it turned out, they weren't webbed. It was eczema, and a darn good case of it.
For the next ten years or so, I battled with the oozy blisters, and the hard, peeling skin on my hands. I learned to loathe my hands, and their ugliness. If I was having a break-out, which was often, I kept my hands tucked into my sleeves, and when those lovely teenage years hit, I was always weary of boys who wanted to hold my hand at the movies. I just didn't want them to be grossed out.
Occasionally, it got so bad, that I would have to wear mittens all day, or pretend that I had sprained my wrist, and wear a tensor bandage for a week, just to hide the blisters. I became very good at hiding it.
I tried everything. My doctor prescribed tons of creams, that never worked, or only worked once. My mom was very good at making sure I always had my own special soaps, lotions, make-up, that was hypo-allergenic, and fragrance-free....and back then, those things were hard to come by. I didn't wear cheap-o jewellery, and tried to stay away from all the things that caused me to break-out, which was everything from oranges, to the grass on the lawn. The aloe vera plant would help take away the itch, and dry out the blisters, but in the end, left me with peeling, dry fingers.
And then one day....it went away. For the past few years, I haven't had a break out of eczema. I get the occasional dry patch somewhere on my body, and I know that if I wear eyeshadow for more than 2 days in a row, my eyelids will dry out and peel, but that's it. My doctor had told me right from the start that I would probably "grow out of it", and one day it wouldn't be a problem. I thought he was right.
This past October however, it came back for a visit. My hands started to look wrinkly and red again. A couple small blisters showed up. It was itchy beyond belief. A friend gave me some aloe vera leaves, and it cleared up right away. I was ever so grateful.
Then last night, as I watched Law and Order and ate pizza, I noticed that my hands felt as if they were swelling. They weren't swelling, I knew what it was. I took a look, and low and behold....blisters. Little tiny oozy blisters between the fingers of my left hand. I washed it and dried it well, and spent the rest of the night popping the little bastards. This morning, they are dried out a wee bit...but they're still there.
I'm out of ideas, and I don't want to end up one of those folks who are hospitalized for full-body eczema.
Help?
Dec 1, 2008
Grace in Small Things #2
Today sucked. Not for any particular reason, it just sucked in general. It was too busy, I was too tired and grouchy, I was jealous that Smyrish got to party in Toon Town and see NIN, even though I'm the one who sent him there,and I had no ambition to take advantage of a night at home alone and do something just for me.
However,
I recieved a free pizza from Pizza Hut, because they sent me the wrong one. Now I have 2 pizza's!
I am on call, and nobody has called me.
The wedding plans are coming together.
Smyrish at least called and told me he wasn't coming home tonight, so I don't have to stay up all night worrying.
There wasn't a pile of dishes to do when I got home.
It is the first of December, and the snow is actually melting, and it smells like Spring.
However,
I recieved a free pizza from Pizza Hut, because they sent me the wrong one. Now I have 2 pizza's!
I am on call, and nobody has called me.
The wedding plans are coming together.
Smyrish at least called and told me he wasn't coming home tonight, so I don't have to stay up all night worrying.
There wasn't a pile of dishes to do when I got home.
It is the first of December, and the snow is actually melting, and it smells like Spring.
Nov 28, 2008
Grace in Small Things #1
The other day, as I was catching up on every one's weblog entries of the past week or so, I noticed that a whole lot of people are joining in on Schmutzie's "365 Days of Grace Challenge".
I am not exactly a follower, so I didn't join in. It was a nice idea, but I didn't think that I could think of a list of nice things every day to be thankful for.
Then I realized, that that is exactly why I should do it.
I spend too much time thinking and talking about the things that upset me, annoy me, and just in general drive me freakin' crazy. I don't always have something nice to say, even though I know it's there. Not everything in life sucks, the majority of things are wonderful and lovely, I just don't always pay attention in my day to day go-to-work-clean-the-house-listen-to everyone-bitch-and-complain-never-get-a-moment-to-myself life.
There is no way I can do the whole 365 day thing all in one shot. I don't even have computer access some days. However, I think I can shoot for once a week at the very least, and I will continue on until I've done 365 of these lists. Maybe it will be good for me. Let us cross our fingers.
I am not exactly a follower, so I didn't join in. It was a nice idea, but I didn't think that I could think of a list of nice things every day to be thankful for.
Then I realized, that that is exactly why I should do it.
I spend too much time thinking and talking about the things that upset me, annoy me, and just in general drive me freakin' crazy. I don't always have something nice to say, even though I know it's there. Not everything in life sucks, the majority of things are wonderful and lovely, I just don't always pay attention in my day to day go-to-work-clean-the-house-listen-to everyone-bitch-and-complain-never-get-a-moment-to-myself life.
There is no way I can do the whole 365 day thing all in one shot. I don't even have computer access some days. However, I think I can shoot for once a week at the very least, and I will continue on until I've done 365 of these lists. Maybe it will be good for me. Let us cross our fingers.
Today, I am grateful for......
Smyrish. I am so lucky to have found someone who loves me in spite of all my quirks.
The fact that my mom is healthy and well.
My ability to speak and write out my frustrations. I spend every day with people who are unable to communicate their wants and needs, their frustrations, or why they are sad/mad/happy, and never will be able to communicate as effectively as I try to.
Smyrish. I am so lucky to have found someone who loves me in spite of all my quirks.
The fact that my mom is healthy and well.
My ability to speak and write out my frustrations. I spend every day with people who are unable to communicate their wants and needs, their frustrations, or why they are sad/mad/happy, and never will be able to communicate as effectively as I try to.
Well, it's a short list to start out with, but it is, a start.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Nov 14, 2008
Friday Night.
This is what I do on a Friday night when I'm home alone, drinking leftover beer from last weekend,there is nothing good on "Fridays Without Borders", and I can't find a mix tape that I had a dream about. I search out the mix tape on the Interweb. Thank you YouTube for my Belle and Sebastion fix.
Nov 13, 2008
My Home, Is Your Home.
I saw this over at Eat, Bitch and Whine, and felt intrigued. Maybe it's the beer/gravol combo I'm ridin' high on at the moment, but I really had to wonder...what does my home say about me? Is it talking behind my back? Does it like me?
I soon found out, that this itty bitty quiz had nothing to do about my homes feelings at all, it was about me. Oh, and apparently, I can't read very well. :)-
I think that's fairly accurate. Man, the interweb is smart. It's like it knows me.
I soon found out, that this itty bitty quiz had nothing to do about my homes feelings at all, it was about me. Oh, and apparently, I can't read very well. :)-
| What Your Home Says About You |
 Your hygiene is passable, but you may be hiding some dirty secrets. You are a very domestic person. You enjoy decorating, cooking, and making things homey. You are a very nurturing person. You find meaning in taking care of others. You don't feel settled in your life yet. You are scrambling to figure things out. You are a very self sufficient person. You can get along well without much help. Your friends see you as accommodating, peaceful, and forgiving. |
I think that's fairly accurate. Man, the interweb is smart. It's like it knows me.
A Rant Against Time.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I've always been a sensitive girl, but this is getting ridiculous. Last week, I freaked out because of a comment about mayonnaise, and ended up having a horrible day because of it (thankfully, I deleted that blog post before anyone saw it) , and tonight, I lose it because Smyrish noticed my wrinkles around my eyes, thus, I am sleeping on the couch, because I'm too embarrassed and stubborn to go to my bed.
When it comes to my body, and the changes it has made, I am, I admit, overly-sensitive. I am trying to lose weight, and it's not happening. Taking care of the hair on my upper lip has become more of a hobby than a nuisance. My stretch marks, are more pronounced. The tits? They're down to the floor, along with my ass. My wrinkles, are obvious, and I hate them. And yes, I know, that if I wore sunblock and didn't smoke, I probably wouldn't have them anyways.
Which brings me to my point, I think. There was a time, not long ago, when I didn't have to think about the things that I did, or the effects they had on me and my body.
I had all the time in the world, to be unhealthy, party, travel, work, and in general just fuck the dog all the live long day.
I could party all night, and still function at work the next day.
I could smoke and burn in the sun all I wanted, and never thought twice about getting a damn wrinkle, or god forbid, cancer.
I could eat all I wanted, and know that I'd burn it off somehow.
I could waste money and time, however I saw fit, just because it made me happy, and not worry about the consequences, until it was absolutely necessary.
I'm afraid of wasting time now, although I do it so well.
When I was 23, I couldn't wait to be 30. I thought that by now, everything would have worked itself out, and I'd have my head together, and life would be fucking glorious. No more self-torture, no more dating problems, a shitload of self-confidence, and a good head on my shoulders. That's what 23 year old me thought I was gonna be.
In some ways, I am better than 23 year old me. I really have learned from some of my mistakes and experiences. But for the most part, I haven't changed a bit. The insecurity is still there. The fear of being bored with life, never goes away. The confidence comes in and out of my life like that friend that you don't really see that often, and aren't that upset about.
I'm going to be 30 in January.
There were so many things I was going to do. So many places I was going to go. I haven't finished yet, there just wasn't time. I am not even going to have the money, or the time off from work to celebrate my 30th as I had planned. And that's all my fault.
Thirty hasn't even hit yet, and all I am worried about is time. That there isn't enough time left. I'm not 23 anymore, I'm 29, and I have just realized that I am not immortal. When is it time to have a baby? When is it time to settle down? Is there time to work and play all in the same day? How do I find the time to visit people I love and miss? If I take the time to have adventures, where does the money come from for 'real life' needs? What the hell am I supposed to be doing here?
I feel so much pressure to have all the answers, and have everything figured out. But really, nobody is pressuring me, except me. And I don't even know why. I think that I can easily blame everything on my body issues, because that's easier. It's easier to feel ugly, than feel lost and confused.
My god. Look at the time. It's 2:40am. I better try and get some sleep, otherwise there will be no time to relax before I have to go to work in the afternoon.
When it comes to my body, and the changes it has made, I am, I admit, overly-sensitive. I am trying to lose weight, and it's not happening. Taking care of the hair on my upper lip has become more of a hobby than a nuisance. My stretch marks, are more pronounced. The tits? They're down to the floor, along with my ass. My wrinkles, are obvious, and I hate them. And yes, I know, that if I wore sunblock and didn't smoke, I probably wouldn't have them anyways.
Which brings me to my point, I think. There was a time, not long ago, when I didn't have to think about the things that I did, or the effects they had on me and my body.
I had all the time in the world, to be unhealthy, party, travel, work, and in general just fuck the dog all the live long day.
I could party all night, and still function at work the next day.
I could smoke and burn in the sun all I wanted, and never thought twice about getting a damn wrinkle, or god forbid, cancer.
I could eat all I wanted, and know that I'd burn it off somehow.
I could waste money and time, however I saw fit, just because it made me happy, and not worry about the consequences, until it was absolutely necessary.
I'm afraid of wasting time now, although I do it so well.
When I was 23, I couldn't wait to be 30. I thought that by now, everything would have worked itself out, and I'd have my head together, and life would be fucking glorious. No more self-torture, no more dating problems, a shitload of self-confidence, and a good head on my shoulders. That's what 23 year old me thought I was gonna be.
In some ways, I am better than 23 year old me. I really have learned from some of my mistakes and experiences. But for the most part, I haven't changed a bit. The insecurity is still there. The fear of being bored with life, never goes away. The confidence comes in and out of my life like that friend that you don't really see that often, and aren't that upset about.
I'm going to be 30 in January.
There were so many things I was going to do. So many places I was going to go. I haven't finished yet, there just wasn't time. I am not even going to have the money, or the time off from work to celebrate my 30th as I had planned. And that's all my fault.
Thirty hasn't even hit yet, and all I am worried about is time. That there isn't enough time left. I'm not 23 anymore, I'm 29, and I have just realized that I am not immortal. When is it time to have a baby? When is it time to settle down? Is there time to work and play all in the same day? How do I find the time to visit people I love and miss? If I take the time to have adventures, where does the money come from for 'real life' needs? What the hell am I supposed to be doing here?
I feel so much pressure to have all the answers, and have everything figured out. But really, nobody is pressuring me, except me. And I don't even know why. I think that I can easily blame everything on my body issues, because that's easier. It's easier to feel ugly, than feel lost and confused.
My god. Look at the time. It's 2:40am. I better try and get some sleep, otherwise there will be no time to relax before I have to go to work in the afternoon.
Nov 4, 2008
Cough, Gag, Snort, Itch, Fart
Dear Immune System,
I don't know if you have realized this, but lately, you have really been slacking in the germ fighting department. You have always been so on top of things, and I respected you for that, even bragged about you, but the past few months, I have found that you just aren't up to snuff.
I have had countless colds, coughs, sinus problems, ear aches, stomach ailments, skin rashes, and just in general feel like shit, the majority of the time.
Is something wrong? Are you stressed? Am I surrounding you with too many germ-filled humans, to the point where you just don't know where to start? Is there something I can do to help? Sleep more? Take my vitamins? Quit wearing flip-flops after the sun goes down?
If so, please let me know. You can contact me at the couch, or on the toilet, or anywhere there are Kleenex tissues present.
Hoping for a quick reply,
Love, Abigail
I don't know if you have realized this, but lately, you have really been slacking in the germ fighting department. You have always been so on top of things, and I respected you for that, even bragged about you, but the past few months, I have found that you just aren't up to snuff.
I have had countless colds, coughs, sinus problems, ear aches, stomach ailments, skin rashes, and just in general feel like shit, the majority of the time.
Is something wrong? Are you stressed? Am I surrounding you with too many germ-filled humans, to the point where you just don't know where to start? Is there something I can do to help? Sleep more? Take my vitamins? Quit wearing flip-flops after the sun goes down?
If so, please let me know. You can contact me at the couch, or on the toilet, or anywhere there are Kleenex tissues present.
Hoping for a quick reply,
Love, Abigail
Oct 22, 2008
My Day, in a Nut Shell. ( Look! I'm in a nut shell!)
1. Wake up to phone ringing. It is the boss, so I answer it. Hilarity does NOT ensue.
2. Decide to get up and make coffee, because I cannot fall back to sleep. Spill old slimy coffee grinds on arm and floor.
3. Watch Law & Order, hoping that it will motivate me to do something productive.
4. It doesn't. So I watch "Without a Trace."
5. Wonder when Smyrish is coming home, because I'm lonely.
6. Clean the bathroom. Wash the dishes. Attempt to move bed back to where it was before sexy time last night. Hurt my arm in the process and give up.
7. More coffee, and a couple cigarettes.
8. Check email. Nothing important. Find that nobody in cyber space loves me except Wench. :)
9. Find out that "Hairspray" is sold out. Purchase tickets to 54-40 instead.
10. Smyrish comes home, and I forget to tell him about 54-40.
11. He tells me that my car was towed this morning.
12. Temper tantrum begins to erupt.
13. We go to City Hall, and protest our tickets, and try to find out where my car is. They don't know.
14. We track down my car, and go back to City Hall.
15. Smyrish informs me that we had a Scrabble date tonight that I completely forgot about. I feel like an arse.
16. When we get home, we find a stray kitten. The neighbor and caretaker give us food and litter, so we can look after her. We all fall in love. She's fucking awesome, and I want to keep her.
17. Because of all the City Hall bullshit, I don't have time to make the lovely dinner I had planned to make, but I improvise, and we eat.
18. Off to fitness class! Thankfully, that went well, and it was a great time!
19. Somewhere in the hour I was at my class I forgot (again) about the Scrabble date, and that I was supposed to meet Wench to give her money back to her that she gave me, so I could purchase her a ticket to "Hairspray".
20. Again, hilarity does not ensue.
21. I get called in to work. The midnight staff is not going to show up. I agree to come in. Luckily, because of this, I do not have to work a 16 hour day tomorrow, as was previously scheduled. However, because I have to go to bed, I am for sure missing the Scrabble date. Bad Abigail!
22. I finally shower for the first time in 2 days, have half a glass of wine, and I wash the dishes again. I tell my sob story to the new kitty and Pocket Buddha.
23. I have a quick pity party, then get some sleep before work, and pray that tomorrow things will be better, and I won't have the memory of a goldfish.
2. Decide to get up and make coffee, because I cannot fall back to sleep. Spill old slimy coffee grinds on arm and floor.
3. Watch Law & Order, hoping that it will motivate me to do something productive.
4. It doesn't. So I watch "Without a Trace."
5. Wonder when Smyrish is coming home, because I'm lonely.
6. Clean the bathroom. Wash the dishes. Attempt to move bed back to where it was before sexy time last night. Hurt my arm in the process and give up.
7. More coffee, and a couple cigarettes.
8. Check email. Nothing important. Find that nobody in cyber space loves me except Wench. :)
9. Find out that "Hairspray" is sold out. Purchase tickets to 54-40 instead.
10. Smyrish comes home, and I forget to tell him about 54-40.
11. He tells me that my car was towed this morning.
12. Temper tantrum begins to erupt.
13. We go to City Hall, and protest our tickets, and try to find out where my car is. They don't know.
14. We track down my car, and go back to City Hall.
15. Smyrish informs me that we had a Scrabble date tonight that I completely forgot about. I feel like an arse.
16. When we get home, we find a stray kitten. The neighbor and caretaker give us food and litter, so we can look after her. We all fall in love. She's fucking awesome, and I want to keep her.
17. Because of all the City Hall bullshit, I don't have time to make the lovely dinner I had planned to make, but I improvise, and we eat.
18. Off to fitness class! Thankfully, that went well, and it was a great time!
19. Somewhere in the hour I was at my class I forgot (again) about the Scrabble date, and that I was supposed to meet Wench to give her money back to her that she gave me, so I could purchase her a ticket to "Hairspray".
20. Again, hilarity does not ensue.
21. I get called in to work. The midnight staff is not going to show up. I agree to come in. Luckily, because of this, I do not have to work a 16 hour day tomorrow, as was previously scheduled. However, because I have to go to bed, I am for sure missing the Scrabble date. Bad Abigail!
22. I finally shower for the first time in 2 days, have half a glass of wine, and I wash the dishes again. I tell my sob story to the new kitty and Pocket Buddha.
23. I have a quick pity party, then get some sleep before work, and pray that tomorrow things will be better, and I won't have the memory of a goldfish.
Oct 17, 2008
Fuckin' A, Boys. Good Video!
Now, why is it that Sam keeps looking younger, and I keep looking older?
Oct 16, 2008
This is What I Wake Up To
I am half-sleeping and contemplating staying there til I die. Smyrish comes in to the bedroom and flicks on the light.
Smyrish: Tom Petty told me to get rid of my computer and buy a guitar.
Abigail: Don't listen to Tom Petty. He's a fucking pot head.
Smyrish: I don't think I'll give up the computer, but I am going to buy a guitar. I am going to learn to play it by the time I'm 27.
Abigail: Why? So you can become a huge famous rockstar and die of a heroin overdose by the time you're 27?
Smyrish: How'd you know?
Abigail: 'Cause that was always my plan, but it didn't work out. Look at me now, 29, all alive and shit, and drug-free. That's me, always have big ideas, never follow through on anything.
Smyrish: That sucks. See ya later dear, love ya.
Note: Unlike me, Smyrish gets big ideas and follows through on them. About an hour later, he came home with a guitar. I totally thought he was joking, but I guess not. He really did listen to Tom Petty. Hopefully, before he dies of his drug overdose, he lists me as a beneficiary, so I can live out my dream of sitting on a beach drinking margueritas and diddling the young bartender/pool boy/masseuse, all the while not having to worry about money, because my rich rockstar husband left me his fortune.
Smyrish: Tom Petty told me to get rid of my computer and buy a guitar.
Abigail: Don't listen to Tom Petty. He's a fucking pot head.
Smyrish: I don't think I'll give up the computer, but I am going to buy a guitar. I am going to learn to play it by the time I'm 27.
Abigail: Why? So you can become a huge famous rockstar and die of a heroin overdose by the time you're 27?
Smyrish: How'd you know?
Abigail: 'Cause that was always my plan, but it didn't work out. Look at me now, 29, all alive and shit, and drug-free. That's me, always have big ideas, never follow through on anything.
Smyrish: That sucks. See ya later dear, love ya.
Note: Unlike me, Smyrish gets big ideas and follows through on them. About an hour later, he came home with a guitar. I totally thought he was joking, but I guess not. He really did listen to Tom Petty. Hopefully, before he dies of his drug overdose, he lists me as a beneficiary, so I can live out my dream of sitting on a beach drinking margueritas and diddling the young bartender/pool boy/masseuse, all the while not having to worry about money, because my rich rockstar husband left me his fortune.
Oct 2, 2008
First Class Fitness
As summer came to a close, I thought to myself, "Self, you are a fat pig, your self-esteem sucks bananas, and you need to do something just for you, that isn't at home and is far from the group home." I listened to myself, and brought out The City's guide to all things fun, and decided to pick out a couple classes I would take.
I do this every year, and never actually attend anything. Mostly due to my rotating work schedule, which never guarantees me the same day off each week. This year, I have been blessed with the ability to make my own schedule, so when I saw the "First Time Fitness" class listing, I decided that Wednesday nights were for me, and work could suck it.
I picked this class, because I have always been afraid to go and workout by myself. Gyms terrify me, because one, I never see any fat people in them, and two, I don't know how to use any of the equipment. This class, of 12 women, and one personal trainer, was made just for people like me. Each week, we get to try something new, learn how to use all the machines, drop-in at spin, belly-dance and aquacise, and in the end, hopefully each of us will find something we love, and can stick to, to get healthy.
Last night I had my second class. Before we could exercise, each of us had to tell the group our personal fitness goals. I didn't have any. I was supposed to write them down, and I couldn't think of anything except, " Lose weight" and "Get enough confidence to go there by myself this winter." Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Everyone in the class has the same weight and confidence issues that I have. All of us are stressed from working and taking care of people in our lives and never doing anything for ourselves. We're a big group of pleasers, who aren't exactly pleased with our lives. It made all of us feel better to get that out, and know that we weren't the only ones.
I'm really going to like this class, and I'm glad I found it. I need to be around some new people, and do something different all on my own, and if I can get in shape at the same time, that'll be awesome.
After starting this class, I'm really excited about the four Friday nights that are coming up, when Knuckle Toes and I are taking a Burlesque Workout class. By then I should be comfortable enough at the Fieldhouse, and it'll all just be for fun, and will keep me out of the bar for at least 4 weekends, which isn't a bad thing.
So ya, after all this time, I'm finally doing something for me and my health. And it sure feels good.
I do this every year, and never actually attend anything. Mostly due to my rotating work schedule, which never guarantees me the same day off each week. This year, I have been blessed with the ability to make my own schedule, so when I saw the "First Time Fitness" class listing, I decided that Wednesday nights were for me, and work could suck it.
I picked this class, because I have always been afraid to go and workout by myself. Gyms terrify me, because one, I never see any fat people in them, and two, I don't know how to use any of the equipment. This class, of 12 women, and one personal trainer, was made just for people like me. Each week, we get to try something new, learn how to use all the machines, drop-in at spin, belly-dance and aquacise, and in the end, hopefully each of us will find something we love, and can stick to, to get healthy.
Last night I had my second class. Before we could exercise, each of us had to tell the group our personal fitness goals. I didn't have any. I was supposed to write them down, and I couldn't think of anything except, " Lose weight" and "Get enough confidence to go there by myself this winter." Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Everyone in the class has the same weight and confidence issues that I have. All of us are stressed from working and taking care of people in our lives and never doing anything for ourselves. We're a big group of pleasers, who aren't exactly pleased with our lives. It made all of us feel better to get that out, and know that we weren't the only ones.
I'm really going to like this class, and I'm glad I found it. I need to be around some new people, and do something different all on my own, and if I can get in shape at the same time, that'll be awesome.
After starting this class, I'm really excited about the four Friday nights that are coming up, when Knuckle Toes and I are taking a Burlesque Workout class. By then I should be comfortable enough at the Fieldhouse, and it'll all just be for fun, and will keep me out of the bar for at least 4 weekends, which isn't a bad thing.
So ya, after all this time, I'm finally doing something for me and my health. And it sure feels good.
Sep 25, 2008
5 on the 25 - Thinking of You Edition
1. I will always remember the stories you told, your dirty jokes and how excited you were showing me your photos from Churchill after I had been there. You were one of the only people that understood why I liked it up there so much. I am in shock. I'll miss you, Wally.
2. Your house was the coolest house I have ever been in. Period. So many places to play and hide. Neener and I always had so much fun having sleepovers at your house, because it was never dull...and there was always good food!
3. I know in my heart you would have really loved Smyrish. I'm sure you and he would be traipsing about, going shopping at the dump, talking about your never ending projects, while mom and I rolled our eyes at you both. Every day, he does something that reminds me of you in some way, which is I think is one reason why I love him so much. Oh, and just so you know, yes, he can change his own oil and he likes to fish. ;)
4. I was driving through Chamberlain the other day, and thought of you. It was so strange, how I got to see you, and catch up with you out of the blue, after all those years.....and then to find out a few hours later that you were gone....I still can't find the words. You had so many plans.....
5. You, were an ass. But I adored you anyways. All the trouble you got in to, and dragged me in to from time to time. Saying inappropriate things to me all the live long day, and yet, you were one of my closest friends. When push came to shove, you watched out for me. I wish I hadn't lost contact with you, but I had changed, and you were changing for the worse. You lived such a tragic life, I wasn't shocked when I heard the news, but I was shocked at how much I cried for you. That was the saddest day.
2. Your house was the coolest house I have ever been in. Period. So many places to play and hide. Neener and I always had so much fun having sleepovers at your house, because it was never dull...and there was always good food!
3. I know in my heart you would have really loved Smyrish. I'm sure you and he would be traipsing about, going shopping at the dump, talking about your never ending projects, while mom and I rolled our eyes at you both. Every day, he does something that reminds me of you in some way, which is I think is one reason why I love him so much. Oh, and just so you know, yes, he can change his own oil and he likes to fish. ;)
4. I was driving through Chamberlain the other day, and thought of you. It was so strange, how I got to see you, and catch up with you out of the blue, after all those years.....and then to find out a few hours later that you were gone....I still can't find the words. You had so many plans.....
5. You, were an ass. But I adored you anyways. All the trouble you got in to, and dragged me in to from time to time. Saying inappropriate things to me all the live long day, and yet, you were one of my closest friends. When push came to shove, you watched out for me. I wish I hadn't lost contact with you, but I had changed, and you were changing for the worse. You lived such a tragic life, I wasn't shocked when I heard the news, but I was shocked at how much I cried for you. That was the saddest day.
Sep 9, 2008
Election Rant
Bah, elections.
I used to get all up-in-arms when it was election time. I'd always be up for a big discussion, whether it be about bashing one guy, or how wonderful the other guy was, or how really, they're all just a bunch of douche bags, and what does it matter, really. I urged people to get out and vote, even sent emails to remind people to do so the day before. I thought that really, we could change the world!
Now, I just don't give a fuck. I truly don't. I'm not a fan of our current Prime Minister, and if for some reason he actually gets ousted, I don't think I'll be a fan of whoever comes next. The whole thing is just one big Junior High School popularity contest.
I have been without a television for a while now, so I have been listening to mostly CBC radio and News Talk. Every day, I hear a leader of a political party yap about this and that, and it reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Lois runs for mayor against Adam West. She learns during the debate, that as long as she says "Lower Taxes" and "9/11", people will cheer and think she's the shiznit.
Stephen Harper and Jack Layton have perfected this form of "speech giving", and it is starting to grate on my nerves. All they have to say is:
" No coal tax!"
" The environment!"
" Farmer's rule!"
" Lower GST!"
And everyone cheers, unless they don't agree, in which they will say "Boo-urns!" and complain endlessly at 3pm coffee or beer o'clock.
I will still vote for someone other than Stephen Harper, but I'm just not sure who. I could always vote for the Green Party, but that's a bit of a throw away vote.
I may vote for Jack Layton, based on the fact that I saw him at The Pub a few weeks back, and now know that he enjoys having a few beers with his buddies, and that if there wasn't such a thing as YouTube, he totally would have signed girls' breasts.
I used to get all up-in-arms when it was election time. I'd always be up for a big discussion, whether it be about bashing one guy, or how wonderful the other guy was, or how really, they're all just a bunch of douche bags, and what does it matter, really. I urged people to get out and vote, even sent emails to remind people to do so the day before. I thought that really, we could change the world!
Now, I just don't give a fuck. I truly don't. I'm not a fan of our current Prime Minister, and if for some reason he actually gets ousted, I don't think I'll be a fan of whoever comes next. The whole thing is just one big Junior High School popularity contest.
I have been without a television for a while now, so I have been listening to mostly CBC radio and News Talk. Every day, I hear a leader of a political party yap about this and that, and it reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Lois runs for mayor against Adam West. She learns during the debate, that as long as she says "Lower Taxes" and "9/11", people will cheer and think she's the shiznit.
Stephen Harper and Jack Layton have perfected this form of "speech giving", and it is starting to grate on my nerves. All they have to say is:
" No coal tax!"
" The environment!"
" Farmer's rule!"
" Lower GST!"
And everyone cheers, unless they don't agree, in which they will say "Boo-urns!" and complain endlessly at 3pm coffee or beer o'clock.
I will still vote for someone other than Stephen Harper, but I'm just not sure who. I could always vote for the Green Party, but that's a bit of a throw away vote.
I may vote for Jack Layton, based on the fact that I saw him at The Pub a few weeks back, and now know that he enjoys having a few beers with his buddies, and that if there wasn't such a thing as YouTube, he totally would have signed girls' breasts.
Sep 4, 2008
Los Manlicious
I have been on a huge Hawksley kick this week, ever since Smyrish bought me his newest album Los Manlicious. His music seems to go along well with my ever changing moods, emotions and levels of motivation. I must say, this is his best album, in my opinion, since For Him and the Girls, so I've dragged that out of my collection as well, and put it back on heavy rotation.
I must say though, I feel for Mr. Workman. In comparing the album covers of his last 3 records, I noticed that he sure has lost his crazy, beautiful black hair mighty quickly. Poor guy. However, I am happy he's finally rockin' the baldness, and not hiding it under that ridiculous bandana/hat combo like he has been the past couple years.
I must say though, I feel for Mr. Workman. In comparing the album covers of his last 3 records, I noticed that he sure has lost his crazy, beautiful black hair mighty quickly. Poor guy. However, I am happy he's finally rockin' the baldness, and not hiding it under that ridiculous bandana/hat combo like he has been the past couple years.
Sep 2, 2008
Good Labour Day
Labour Day weekend usually marks a time in the year when I start to dread the upcoming Winter, and start thinking of things that are less than Summer-y. I put away the camping gear, drag out the sweaters and start thinking about buying socks and shoes that aren't of the flip-flop variety.
Knuckle Toes and I had, what we thought was our last festival, yesterday. The weather sucked and sales were less than stellar. As she put it at the end of the day, the problem was that there were no teenagers, which seem to be our market. But, it was a good day in the end.
Knuckle Toes introduced me to a wonderful woman she had met at the Ness Creek Festival, and in turn, she introduced us to the organizers of the Field Music Festival near Craik, Saskatchewan. They asked us to come and be vendors at their festival in a couple weeks.
Later in the day, I got to talking to this woman about how Smyrish and I are looking into buying land, and building a straw bale house in the future, and found out that she was actually one of the first developers and organizers of the Craik Sustainable Living Project and Eco-Centre. She was really excited about our idea, and has invited us to come and tour the community while we are at the Field Festival on the 13th and 14th. On top of that, she said that as long as I kept in touch with her, she and her crew would help us build our home, wherever we decided to settle.
So, maybe summer isn't quite over yet. I have one more weekend of camping, selling and socializing to do now, and something to look forward to. And, although I didn't do well when it came to making money yesterday, I did meet some people and learn some new things, and that's priceless, if you ask me.
Knuckle Toes and I had, what we thought was our last festival, yesterday. The weather sucked and sales were less than stellar. As she put it at the end of the day, the problem was that there were no teenagers, which seem to be our market. But, it was a good day in the end.
Knuckle Toes introduced me to a wonderful woman she had met at the Ness Creek Festival, and in turn, she introduced us to the organizers of the Field Music Festival near Craik, Saskatchewan. They asked us to come and be vendors at their festival in a couple weeks.
Later in the day, I got to talking to this woman about how Smyrish and I are looking into buying land, and building a straw bale house in the future, and found out that she was actually one of the first developers and organizers of the Craik Sustainable Living Project and Eco-Centre. She was really excited about our idea, and has invited us to come and tour the community while we are at the Field Festival on the 13th and 14th. On top of that, she said that as long as I kept in touch with her, she and her crew would help us build our home, wherever we decided to settle.
So, maybe summer isn't quite over yet. I have one more weekend of camping, selling and socializing to do now, and something to look forward to. And, although I didn't do well when it came to making money yesterday, I did meet some people and learn some new things, and that's priceless, if you ask me.
Aug 18, 2008
Pendants Galore!
For the longest time, I refused to buy jewellery, because I knew that I could make my own. Recently, I have realized though, that I'm not too fond of making jewellery anymore, and it is a really nice feeling, to buy something pretty for myself when I have the extra cash.However, a new addiction of mine has come to light. Pendants. I freakin' love pendants. Why? Because all you need is a chain, and you can switch off your necklace however you like. Whatever mood I am in, whatever outfit I have on, I have a pendant to match.
I had been shopping around on Etsy for the past few months, looking for Scrabble tile pendants. There are TONS of sellers who do this sort of thing, and it is hard to figure out who does good work, and who doesn't. It's trial and error, I guess, shopping online. I had ordered pendants from other shops, and found that if it rained, they got ruined, or the clasps were breaking after only a couple wears. And then, I found Jesse Janes.
Her shop was amazing. I must have spent 2 hours just browsing through her work, trying to decide which 2 for 1 pendants I wanted. And then, I realized, that I had to pick a third, since she was offering freebies. For someone who has trouble making these sorts of decisions, it was a tad overwhelming. But, in the end, I ended up with three lovely pendants, and a new favorite Etsy shop.
This gal is gonna be getting a crap load of money from me from now on. Hope she buys herself something nice with it. ;)
Jul 27, 2008
For Those Who Wanted To Know.....
The lovely Jenifer, who just got married not long ago, tagged me in this meme, since I just got engaged not all that long ago. I guess she figures that the Internets should know a bit more about me, and the love of my life. Here goes.
He does, by far.
1. What is his name?
To you, he will forever be Smyrish.
2. Who eats more?
Without a doubt, he does. Sometimes, I am amazed at the amount of food he can pack away, and a little jealous. If I ate that much, I'd weigh 500 pounds. I eat less, and I still weigh more than him!
3. Who said, “I love you” first?
He did. He was worrying about my super-unhealthy lifestyle, and told me that he was only worrying and bringing it up to me because he loved me. I wasn't expecting it, and it floored me.
4. Who is taller?
He is, but not by much. ;)
6. Who is more sensitive?
Oh goodness, I am by far. Not that he isn't, but sheesh, I get PMS and he doesn't, so I win.
7. Who does the laundry?
We do our own laundry. Although, since he's away on holidays, I was thinking of taking all his dirty clothes to work with me on my midnight shift to wash them, so he has something clean to wear when he gets back next weekend.
8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Right side, as like when I'm facing it, or laying in it? If I'm facing it, then he does. I sleep by the wall, and he sleeps by the alarm clock. Which doesn't really make much sense come to think of it, because I'm the one who uses the alarm clock, and likes to press "snooze" fifty or so times. It might be easier if I didn't have to crawl over him to do so.
9. Who pays the bills?
We have a roomate, Das Piper, so me and Das Piper give him our money, and he goes and pays the bills.
10. Who cooks more?
I do. I LOVE to cook for my man. I know that sounds very un-feminist of me, but cooking helps me to unwind, and he loves everything that I make. Even brags about it to others.
11. Who is more stubborn?
Oh boy, that's a toughy. I'll have to call a tie on that one. We're both pretty pig-headed sometimes and have some pretty strong opinions.
12. Who is the first to admit they are wrong?
If we do or say something wrong, we admit it, apologize for it, and move on.
He does, by far.
14. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
I hate pants, I wear mostly skirts and shorts.
15. What do you like to do together?
We've both been so busy this summer, I'd be happy to do anything with him, just me and him. I haven't kicked his ass in Scrabble lately, when he gets back, I should challenge him to a game.
16. Who eats more sweets?
Well, I don't eat any, 'cause I think they're yucky, and he's a sugar addict.
17. Guilty Pleasures?
I don't know about him, but I sure like having loud sex and making the roomate uncomfortable. ;)
18. How did you meet?
I honestly don't really remember the first time I met him. It was either at The Pub, where I meet everybody else, or at my festival booth a couple years ago. Smyrish is Knuckle Toes' big brother, so I met him through her, when she was dating my brother Film Star.
19. Who asked whom out first?
Well, technically, he did. We were camping last year, and he was flirtin' with me, and he asked to go back to my tent with me. I let him, because he gave me butterflies in my stomach, and I'm kind of slutty. A couple months later,he brought me a coffee, and we were sitting on my front stoop, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if I wanted to date anybody seriously, because I had just been burned royally a few months before that, but by that night, I knew he was the one for me, and just gave in.I decided I wasn't going to be scared of being hurt, I was just going to chance it, and here we are. A year later, and we're getting married. I'm so glad I didn't listen to my cynical side.
20. Who kissed who first?
21. Who proposed?
He did. One of the happiest moments of my life, considering at first I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack, right then and there.
22. His best features and qualities?
His ability to make me believe that everything really will be alright. His sense of humour, his motivation, his creativity. His sweet ass, his strong legs and that gorgeous smile. I could go on and on. He is just one of those people that everybody likes, and I feel lucky to have snagged him.
23. Tag you’re it. I know she's busy being a new mommy and all, but I'd love to hear the scoop on Madame Diva and B-rad, when she gets a minute.
Jul 22, 2008
Smyrish Left Me for 50, 000 Rowdy Festival People
I'm alone for the next 10 days or so. Smyrish, The Nervous Axon, Knuckle Toes and Pocket Buddha took off to British Columbia for the Pemberton Festival, among other adventures, and here I sit, wishing I was with them.
But really, I think I needed some quiet time, to think about this whole wedding thing, have some alone time and just veg out. I don't get much of that anymore, what with being all domesticated and working so much this summer. It'll be good for my mental health, I am sure.
Although.......
I picked up some extra shifts at work, (so I can afford to take some long weekends in August for festivals and camping), I have tons of sewing to get done for Folk Fest, and upcoming visits from friends and family, a camping trip, and dates to get drunk on the patio will keep me more than busy, and I won't be lonely, that's for sure, and maybe I actually won't have as much alone time as I had previously thought up there in that earlier paragraph.
But really, I think I needed some quiet time, to think about this whole wedding thing, have some alone time and just veg out. I don't get much of that anymore, what with being all domesticated and working so much this summer. It'll be good for my mental health, I am sure.
Although.......
I picked up some extra shifts at work, (so I can afford to take some long weekends in August for festivals and camping), I have tons of sewing to get done for Folk Fest, and upcoming visits from friends and family, a camping trip, and dates to get drunk on the patio will keep me more than busy, and I won't be lonely, that's for sure, and maybe I actually won't have as much alone time as I had previously thought up there in that earlier paragraph.
Jul 2, 2008
Camping Trip Excitement!
I am getting married. Me. To Smyrish. I know, I can't really believe it either.
The girl who has always had a hate on for weddings, is having one. And I am ecstatic.
How did it happen you ask? Well, in short.........
I was surprised, to say the least, when Smyrish took me aside this past weekend, during our annual group camping trip, and we started talking about us, and how great we are together, and the conversation turned to "let's get married". I wasn't sure at first, due to my wedding phobia, but as we talked, it just started to feel like it was the right thing to do.
We were standing in the bush, at my favorite place in the world, around a campfire under the stars. I figured anyone who wants to marry a girl wearing mustard-covered sweat pants and smells like booze and bug spray, has to be a keeper. Plus, he's handy around the house, and treats me like a princess. He's a super duper awesome fella.
How could I say no? I couldn't. As I said yes, I looked over, and saw that a baby deer had been standing right beside us, witnessing our decision, the entire time. I figure, if nature is okay with us, then I made the right decision.
Smyrish ran and announced it to our fellow campers, and we all yelled and hugged and drank our faces off for the rest of the night. It was a great moment, a great night, and a great weekend all around.
The girl who has always had a hate on for weddings, is having one. And I am ecstatic.
How did it happen you ask? Well, in short.........
I was surprised, to say the least, when Smyrish took me aside this past weekend, during our annual group camping trip, and we started talking about us, and how great we are together, and the conversation turned to "let's get married". I wasn't sure at first, due to my wedding phobia, but as we talked, it just started to feel like it was the right thing to do.
We were standing in the bush, at my favorite place in the world, around a campfire under the stars. I figured anyone who wants to marry a girl wearing mustard-covered sweat pants and smells like booze and bug spray, has to be a keeper. Plus, he's handy around the house, and treats me like a princess. He's a super duper awesome fella.
How could I say no? I couldn't. As I said yes, I looked over, and saw that a baby deer had been standing right beside us, witnessing our decision, the entire time. I figure, if nature is okay with us, then I made the right decision.
Smyrish ran and announced it to our fellow campers, and we all yelled and hugged and drank our faces off for the rest of the night. It was a great moment, a great night, and a great weekend all around.
Jun 14, 2008
Great Train Adventure '08 (Part Four)
My favorite part of our visit to Kingston, Ontario, was our drunken playtime and ghost hunting at Skeleton Park, after a night of hopping from pub to pub. I love ghost stories, and this park has some of the best. After hearing all the stories about children finding bones while playing in the playground, and people in the neighborhood running into a very angry ghost that tried to stab them before he disappeared, I was determined to be scared shitless, so I could have my own story to tell.
Alas, nothing too creepy happened. I left the boys, as they tried to dig up pieces of old tombstones, and wandered around like a crazy person with my camera, asking nicely for the dead people to smile and say cheese. I took about 40-50 photos that night in the park. I was thrilled when there were a handful of photos that were somewhat mysterious, with blobs/orbs and smoke in them, that I could not explain for the life of me, even after the boys gave me some very logical explanations, which boys tend to do, because they aren't much fun when it comes to ghost hunting. (All I know is, that if there was something on my camera lense, then ALL of the photos should have had these weird things in them, not just a few.)
Draggin' their feet, diggin' for bones.
Creepy pillar of "smoke". I apologize for the poor upload quality.
Who knows, maybe there were ghosts there with us, maybe there weren't. I think they were. Skeleton Park didn't scare me, and I was a tad disappointed. I wanted that adrenaline rush. However, once we hit the Ottawa Jail a few days later, I learned just how scary dead people, and history can be, and was wishing that I was back in uneventful Skeleton Park.
Alas, nothing too creepy happened. I left the boys, as they tried to dig up pieces of old tombstones, and wandered around like a crazy person with my camera, asking nicely for the dead people to smile and say cheese. I took about 40-50 photos that night in the park. I was thrilled when there were a handful of photos that were somewhat mysterious, with blobs/orbs and smoke in them, that I could not explain for the life of me, even after the boys gave me some very logical explanations, which boys tend to do, because they aren't much fun when it comes to ghost hunting. (All I know is, that if there was something on my camera lense, then ALL of the photos should have had these weird things in them, not just a few.) 
Draggin' their feet, diggin' for bones.
Creepy pillar of "smoke". I apologize for the poor upload quality.Who knows, maybe there were ghosts there with us, maybe there weren't. I think they were. Skeleton Park didn't scare me, and I was a tad disappointed. I wanted that adrenaline rush. However, once we hit the Ottawa Jail a few days later, I learned just how scary dead people, and history can be, and was wishing that I was back in uneventful Skeleton Park.
Crazy Bitch
I have mental problems. This is a self-diagnosis, mind you, but I believe it to be true.
I don't know what's up with me lately. Nothing seems to make me uber-happy or excited, and when I am feeling "up", I am constantly wondering when I'm going to start feeling down. I am ruining genuine, happy and scrappy moments, because of this gigantic raincloud over my head.
Maybe it's the rainy weather, or maybe it's the fact that I haven't been spending loads of time drinking beer in the sunshine like I did previous years, but I just don't have that summer joy running through my veins, as I usually do this time of year.
I spend all my time at home, or at work. I have acquired an incredibly dull morning routine at home, and actually pray that I will get called in to work most mornings, just for something different.
I normally enjoy being alone, to a certain extent. I think the current problem is though, that I've run out of things to do to fill my time. Everybody else works during the day, so they're busy. I have had limited computer access, it's too rainy to go for walks, and I've run out of ideas and motivation when it comes to cleaning, decorating and organizing the apartment. In the end, I wake up, make coffee, watch "What Not to Wear", followed by "Law & Order", eat lunch, wash dishes, have a cry, and play with the bunny as much as possible before he gets sent away. Sometimes, I shower, but only on those special days. Usually those are the days when the phone rings, and it is actually for me. I live the rock and roll lifestyle, yes I do.
I feel "out of the loop", lonely and bored the majority of the time, and don't even really care to do much about it. Sure, I could leave the house, and search out some familiar faces, but it's raining, and I'm broke, and the last few times I have ventured out, it's been the same ol' gossip and conversations, and I just end up getting tanked and saying something rude, just to change the subject. Which in turn makes me feel foolish, and I decide that maybe I shouldn't be out in public anyways. The shitty thing is though, that no money + no pub = no friends. And that's sad on a couple different levels.
Listen to me whine. Sheesh. Slap me if you feel like it, I won't blame you.
Things aren't really that bad. They sure as hell have been worse. And I'm not alone, I have the best boyfriend this girl could ever ask for, who is actually putting up with this mood, and doing his best to make it all okay.
It's just a funk, I hope. I'm sure once the sun comes back, and the annual camping trip draws near, and I get to keep some of my hard-earned money for once, things will start looking up, and I'll start cheering up.
I don't know what's up with me lately. Nothing seems to make me uber-happy or excited, and when I am feeling "up", I am constantly wondering when I'm going to start feeling down. I am ruining genuine, happy and scrappy moments, because of this gigantic raincloud over my head.
Maybe it's the rainy weather, or maybe it's the fact that I haven't been spending loads of time drinking beer in the sunshine like I did previous years, but I just don't have that summer joy running through my veins, as I usually do this time of year.
I spend all my time at home, or at work. I have acquired an incredibly dull morning routine at home, and actually pray that I will get called in to work most mornings, just for something different.
I normally enjoy being alone, to a certain extent. I think the current problem is though, that I've run out of things to do to fill my time. Everybody else works during the day, so they're busy. I have had limited computer access, it's too rainy to go for walks, and I've run out of ideas and motivation when it comes to cleaning, decorating and organizing the apartment. In the end, I wake up, make coffee, watch "What Not to Wear", followed by "Law & Order", eat lunch, wash dishes, have a cry, and play with the bunny as much as possible before he gets sent away. Sometimes, I shower, but only on those special days. Usually those are the days when the phone rings, and it is actually for me. I live the rock and roll lifestyle, yes I do.
I feel "out of the loop", lonely and bored the majority of the time, and don't even really care to do much about it. Sure, I could leave the house, and search out some familiar faces, but it's raining, and I'm broke, and the last few times I have ventured out, it's been the same ol' gossip and conversations, and I just end up getting tanked and saying something rude, just to change the subject. Which in turn makes me feel foolish, and I decide that maybe I shouldn't be out in public anyways. The shitty thing is though, that no money + no pub = no friends. And that's sad on a couple different levels.
Listen to me whine. Sheesh. Slap me if you feel like it, I won't blame you.
Things aren't really that bad. They sure as hell have been worse. And I'm not alone, I have the best boyfriend this girl could ever ask for, who is actually putting up with this mood, and doing his best to make it all okay.
It's just a funk, I hope. I'm sure once the sun comes back, and the annual camping trip draws near, and I get to keep some of my hard-earned money for once, things will start looking up, and I'll start cheering up.
May 20, 2008
The Great Train Adventure of '08 (Part Three)
We left The City in flip-flops and t-shirts on April 21st, and by the time we arrived in ToonTown two hours later, there was a blizzard so bad that we couldn't even see, and I had to dig for shoes that actually covered my feet for fear of frostbite. Luckily, by the time we got to Toronto on the 23rd, it was hot and sunny and there wasn't a flake of snow to be found.
We spent our first two days of holidays just wandering around Toronto. We must have walked about 16 hours a day. We visited a couple friends of Smyrish, and just went with the flow. No plans, nowhere to be, just enjoyed being away. My feet were killing me, but I just loved being out in the sun, and it was a trip, taking in the view of high-rises, running businessmen on Bay Street, and homeless people sleeping on grates to keep warm. By the time we left, I really had to wonder if maybe Canada should take a break from helping in other countries, and do something about our own.
After our 2 days in Toronto, we hopped back on the train and headed to Kingston to visit our friend Hobbsley. Soon after we arrived at his apartment, we cleaned ourselves up, and he whisked us away to a Law School BBQ before taking us on a very nice tour of the city, telling us all about it's history, stopping in at many pubs along the way. We were good and slammered by the time we made our way to Skeleton Park to look for bones, grave markers and ghosts, the latter of which I swear that I caught on a couple shots on my digital camera.
The next day, we were hungover beyond belief. That Hobbsley sure can party. We didn't get up to much, other than some more wandering, coffee and Scrabble, and pints, as I awoke with evidence that at some point the day before, I had sprained my ankle, but was obviously too drunk to remember when or how I did it. Thankfully, Hobbsley had a tensor bandage, to keep my ankle in place as we wandered on down to the ferry for a ride that night.
The next morning, we said our goodbye's to Hobbsley and headed back to the train station, and were on our way to grand ol' Montreal.
* I will post photos as soon as I learn how to work this darn computer!
May 16, 2008
Great Train Adventure '08 (Part Deux)
Although I don't necessarily feel old, my body is starting to get a bit too old to be sleeping in uncomfortable seats, benches and on cold train station floors, or so it tells me. By the time we were sitting on the train to Montreal, after our visits in Toronto and Kingston, I also learned that sitting for long periods of time with no way to put my feet up, was also hard on my body. I am not as flexible as I once was, and walking in flip-flops for 16 hours a day actually hurts my feet, and does a number on my ankles and back. Who'd a thunk it? Not this chickadee.
Other than some uncomfortable nights, the train was wonderful as usual. I love to just sit back with my headphones on, a book on my lap, and take in the Canadian scenery. It's like nothing else. To have Smyrish with me, made it all the more wonderful. It was so nice to have someone to share the experience with, especially when it wasn't so good, and the time passed more quickly, what with having someone to talk to, play Scrabble with and whatnot.
Singin' on the TrainWe were both dreading the train ride home from Longlac to ToonTown. We had been very lucky in scoring good seats on our entire trip, but our luck ran out in the last couple days, when we became just two of the many cramped travellers in comfort class. We didn't sleep much, but we did spend the last of our money on beer in the bar car, laughing and talking to strangers and singing to the banjo and mandolin music that Eliza brought with her. It was a glorious way to end a holiday.
May 9, 2008
Great Train Adventure '08 (Part One)
I'm back! How is everyone? Everything okay? Anything new and interesting going on that I should know about?
We had a great little holiday. There were a few little bumps in the road, some grouchy moments, and the weather wasn't always so nice to us, but overall, it was a blast! I wasn't exactly thrilled to come home, knowing that I had to move out of the House of Pain, go back to work, and deal with other people's drama upon my return, but so far, it's been okay. I've been packing and moving since I returned yesterday at 7:00 am (after driving all night, sheesh!), and tonight Smyrish and I are heading out to a different pub to get sloshed and do some visiting with friends, and maybe after a few drinks, I'll have the guts to head to Ye Olde Regular Pub.
And on that note, I must head over to the new apartment for some leftover pizza, as I have packed all my food, and unload the boxes in my car. But don't fret, I'll post again soon with tales of our adventures in Eastern Canada.
Cheers!
We had a great little holiday. There were a few little bumps in the road, some grouchy moments, and the weather wasn't always so nice to us, but overall, it was a blast! I wasn't exactly thrilled to come home, knowing that I had to move out of the House of Pain, go back to work, and deal with other people's drama upon my return, but so far, it's been okay. I've been packing and moving since I returned yesterday at 7:00 am (after driving all night, sheesh!), and tonight Smyrish and I are heading out to a different pub to get sloshed and do some visiting with friends, and maybe after a few drinks, I'll have the guts to head to Ye Olde Regular Pub.
And on that note, I must head over to the new apartment for some leftover pizza, as I have packed all my food, and unload the boxes in my car. But don't fret, I'll post again soon with tales of our adventures in Eastern Canada.
Cheers!
Apr 16, 2008
See You Soon!!!
Since I will be gone (and I just know you'll all miss me), and I most likely won't be updating until I get back (with many wonderful tales of The Great Canadian Train Excursion of '08) due to limited InterWeb access, and a hate I can't explain for most internet cafe's, I am leaving you with this run-on sentence, some links to posts by other bloggers, and sites I think you should check out, in my absence, 'cause they are A-OK.
Enjoy!!!!
Dangerous Toys: Dangerous, or Just Toys? - from {redacted}
Fat Free Vegan Recipes
Drinking Games - by the Webtender
Easy Cheeseball - via allrecipes.com
Laundromats - by Smyrish
A Post About Nothing - from Pop Culture Sculpture
Gotta Remind Myself - by Jonesalicious
Feel the Bra - via Citizen of the Month
It Makes me Feel Like a Kid Again - by the Nervous Axon
A Cup of Coffee - by The Palinode
Byokal - via zefrank
Enjoy!!!!
Dangerous Toys: Dangerous, or Just Toys? - from {redacted}
Fat Free Vegan Recipes
Drinking Games - by the Webtender
Easy Cheeseball - via allrecipes.com
Laundromats - by Smyrish
A Post About Nothing - from Pop Culture Sculpture
Gotta Remind Myself - by Jonesalicious
Feel the Bra - via Citizen of the Month
It Makes me Feel Like a Kid Again - by the Nervous Axon
A Cup of Coffee - by The Palinode
Byokal - via zefrank
Cramming for the Arts Fest
With my three week vacation starting on Monday, I realized today that time is a tickin', and I don't have much time to get ready for the Arts Festival on May 24th. Currently, the only stock I have is what is listed in my Etsy Shop and a few things that I have had forever and have never sold at any festival, which is why they aren't listed on Etsy. I have decided not to take my Etsy items to the festival, because that would make life a tad more difficult than I would like it to be, what with all the de-listing of items the next day, when I will most likely be hungover.Every year, I worry about not having enough stock, and this year is no different. However, I have decided that quality will rule over quantity, and I would just like to have a bunch of cool bags/purses and a handful of jazzy jewellery to lug around and sell, rather than a crapload of well, crap. It is only a one day affair, so I figure, the easier I make it, the better.
Over the past few months I have started quite a few bags, but haven't finished them, and they are now in a pile I call, "almost finished."
My bed is now housing the pile of material I bought at Value Village today,
And I put my clothes in my dresser drawers, so I could place all the patterns I cut out on top of it.
And yes, Swiss Cheese crackers help me in my quest for creativity. As well as a couple cans of Labatt Lite beer.So, in the end, I didn't get any sewing done tonight, but I now have 8 "patterns" cut out, 6 bags that are almost done, and my what-I-assume-are-shitty-because-no one-will-buy-them older wares are sorted and ready to be ironed.
And that counts as work too. From here on, the fun begins, as I get to sit at my sewing machine, and put these piles of scraps together into funky accessories that I will stuff into a Rubbermaid container until I get to show them off and hopefully make some money, honey.
Apr 12, 2008
Pay Up!
Pow
Even though I have tattoo's, like to travel, and eat spicy food, according to this quiz I took after reading Neilochka's post, as a gigolo, I am only worth $933 per hour. That amount of money is close to what I make bi-weekly as a group home supervisor, so I think I just may stick with my day job, since I'm guessing that there is less of a risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and beatings from my pimp are quite minimal at this time. Although, working only 2 hours a month to make the same amount of money is quite tempting.
I'm guessing that my price would have been higher, had I said I was bisexual, but I didn't say it, 'cause I'm so over that.
Apr 9, 2008
It's Almost Time!
In approximately 12 days, Smyrish and I will be off to Toon Town to catch the train, and head to Eastern Canada. I can't fucking wait. I need a holiday like nobodies business, and I am thrilled that I have somehow lucked out and my rotation has helped me get twenty-one days off of work, when I only asked for fourteen.
I am mostly excited to have an adventure with the boyfriend, on my most favorite form of transport, and can't wait to sit down and make some final arrangements and travel plans.
It's gonna be a blast. Visiting friends, drinking on the train, meeting new people, seeing new places.......all my favorite things.
And for the first time in my travelling life, I have more than enough money to do it, and have everything at home taken care of at the same time.
Woo hoo!
I Am Aglow
I should hate you, and I did for awhile. I don't hate you anymore. I feel like I need you in my life. That same feeling I had when I met you, and told you I wanted to be your friend. And no, I never introduced myself as, "Anne". We've got too much in common, and now I know that you are just looking out for me, and want me to be happy. As of tonight, I know you want me to breed. But I've got to say, it's my party and I'll breed when me and Smyrish want to. ;)
I sometimes want to take your lips, and pinch them together so you can't speak, and force you to listen to what is being said. Sometimes, I wish that the mother of your child and I didn't have the issues that we have, because of you, and you and me. Sometimes, I just want you to drop off the face of the earth, so I don't have to deal with you, or memories of you. And then, there are nights like tonight, when I run into you accidentally, and I am so grateful.
I'm an odd girl. I like to think that if I liked someone, or even loved them, I can still be friends with them. I try not to hold grudges. This makes things awkward, sometimes, as you know.
I hope that one day, we can just hang out, without me having to worry about you getting in trouble for driving you home.
I feel like I should thank you, for making the end of my evening, feel like the end of a good movie. Or maybe I should just thank my stereo, for having the power to be a wonderful soundtrack to the goings on in my car. Either way, thank you, for tonight.
I sometimes want to take your lips, and pinch them together so you can't speak, and force you to listen to what is being said. Sometimes, I wish that the mother of your child and I didn't have the issues that we have, because of you, and you and me. Sometimes, I just want you to drop off the face of the earth, so I don't have to deal with you, or memories of you. And then, there are nights like tonight, when I run into you accidentally, and I am so grateful.
I'm an odd girl. I like to think that if I liked someone, or even loved them, I can still be friends with them. I try not to hold grudges. This makes things awkward, sometimes, as you know.
I hope that one day, we can just hang out, without me having to worry about you getting in trouble for driving you home.
I feel like I should thank you, for making the end of my evening, feel like the end of a good movie. Or maybe I should just thank my stereo, for having the power to be a wonderful soundtrack to the goings on in my car. Either way, thank you, for tonight.
Apr 7, 2008
Girl Drink Drunk
These days, I don't get out much on Saturday nights. To be perfectly honest, I would rather stay home, watch a movie or some bad TV, and drink some wine. I like to save my socializing for Tuesdays and Thursdays, when the bar isn't as busy, and I can actually have conversations with my friends, instead of yelling across the table at them, and spending the evening nodding and smiling and pushing through a pack of drunk kids to get to the washroom.
But, this past Saturday, I just felt the need to be out the second I got home from work. What I really wanted was to sit on the patio, and drink some beer and clam, but since the patio isn't open, and I do not possess the ability to zip over to the future, I just headed down to the pub, hoping that it was interesting.
After a game of golf, a pizza and a couple pints, I convinced Das Piper and Wretched, GQ's Hot Italian Girlfriend, that the three of us could probably have a deadly time together and get into trouble, if we just left the pub before the Saturday night dance party began. We wrangled up a fourth, Kat, decided who was going to be the driver and chance losing their license, and headed out on the town.
We decided to do a pub crawl, and hit every bar from downtown to the south end of town, and have only one drink at each one, then run off to the next.
We stuck to beer for the first couple pubs, but the consensus was that we were more bloated than drunk, so we switched to girlie drinks. Chocolate martini's here, Jagermeister paralyzers everywhere else. We learned that Smitty's Lounge can be kind of scary on a Saturday night, the University bar closes, because everyone goes to The Pub, and drinks are still cheaper almost everywhere else, in comparison to our normal hang-out, even though liquor prices have risen. By the time we got to the last pub, where we found karaoke, I was sure I was lactose intolerant, and had to switch back to beer.
It was a fantastic time, and it was nice to get out and away from the norm, but after spending $125 on booze, and spending Sunday cursing milk, I think that I'm set to relax for a bit. Well, until the patio opens in a couple weeks, that is.
But, this past Saturday, I just felt the need to be out the second I got home from work. What I really wanted was to sit on the patio, and drink some beer and clam, but since the patio isn't open, and I do not possess the ability to zip over to the future, I just headed down to the pub, hoping that it was interesting.
After a game of golf, a pizza and a couple pints, I convinced Das Piper and Wretched, GQ's Hot Italian Girlfriend, that the three of us could probably have a deadly time together and get into trouble, if we just left the pub before the Saturday night dance party began. We wrangled up a fourth, Kat, decided who was going to be the driver and chance losing their license, and headed out on the town.
We decided to do a pub crawl, and hit every bar from downtown to the south end of town, and have only one drink at each one, then run off to the next.
We stuck to beer for the first couple pubs, but the consensus was that we were more bloated than drunk, so we switched to girlie drinks. Chocolate martini's here, Jagermeister paralyzers everywhere else. We learned that Smitty's Lounge can be kind of scary on a Saturday night, the University bar closes, because everyone goes to The Pub, and drinks are still cheaper almost everywhere else, in comparison to our normal hang-out, even though liquor prices have risen. By the time we got to the last pub, where we found karaoke, I was sure I was lactose intolerant, and had to switch back to beer.
It was a fantastic time, and it was nice to get out and away from the norm, but after spending $125 on booze, and spending Sunday cursing milk, I think that I'm set to relax for a bit. Well, until the patio opens in a couple weeks, that is.
Apr 3, 2008
10 Good Things About Today
1. I woke up early, next to Smyrish, and cuddled up to him until my eyes were ready to open and my brain was ready to use the coffee maker.
2. Film Star and GQ are coming over this afternoon to help me clean the yard.
3. The Weather Channel promises that it will be +10 degrees Celsius by this afternoon. Fucken' A.
4. The girls and I have declared it Fraturday, and we're gettin' slammered tonight.
5. Smyrish and I are going to walk around the lake on his lunch hour. Yay for exercise!
6. My spring cleaning will be complete before TypicalQuirk comes back from Japan tonight.
7. With any luck, Red has had her baby boy by now, and I can pop on over to the hospital to make faces at him later. That's what good pseudo-aunties do. I might even make faces at Red.
8. The bunny hasn't peed on me once. He did pee on the carpet though. Bad bunny!
9. I sold another item on Etsy, and it'll be off in the mail today.
10. The sun is shining, I have just enough ingredients to make a veggie omelette, and only one shoulder hurts instead of the usual two.
2. Film Star and GQ are coming over this afternoon to help me clean the yard.
3. The Weather Channel promises that it will be +10 degrees Celsius by this afternoon. Fucken' A.
4. The girls and I have declared it Fraturday, and we're gettin' slammered tonight.
5. Smyrish and I are going to walk around the lake on his lunch hour. Yay for exercise!
6. My spring cleaning will be complete before TypicalQuirk comes back from Japan tonight.
7. With any luck, Red has had her baby boy by now, and I can pop on over to the hospital to make faces at him later. That's what good pseudo-aunties do. I might even make faces at Red.
8. The bunny hasn't peed on me once. He did pee on the carpet though. Bad bunny!
9. I sold another item on Etsy, and it'll be off in the mail today.
10. The sun is shining, I have just enough ingredients to make a veggie omelette, and only one shoulder hurts instead of the usual two.
Apr 2, 2008
Dude...that's Excellent!
"Be excellent to each other." - BillThank you, Paige Stanton, for honoring me and my blog with the Award of Excellence. I am feeling pretty excellent today, what with the sun shining and my 18 hour shift at work being over, and this just made it even more excellent.
It is only 9:00am, and I am positive this spring day will only get better, and I hope the same for the rest of you. So, before I go off to eat my turkey bacon, and my green pepper, mushroom and feta omelette, I would like to take my turn to award a few blogs that I deem "excellent" as well.
The Palinode
Smyrish
Mrs. Mogul
The Nervous Axon
Oh My Seven
Dr. Pepper is Good for the Soul
Have a lovely day!
Mar 31, 2008
It's a Bit Early, but I was Just Thinking of You...
I will never forget the day Kurt Cobain died.
I was walking out of the house, to see what my dad was doing in the yard. It must have been really warm, I was only wearing grubby jeans and my Jesus and Mary Chain t-shirt. I do remember the sun shining, and the snow was almost gone. I couldn't see dad, but CBC radio was blaring from the radio in the garage, so he had to be within ear shot.
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" started to play, and I heard the DJ say, "Stay tuned to CBC news on the hour for more information on Kurt Cobain's tragic death".
A few seconds later, the on-the-hour CBC "beep, beeeeep, BEEEEEP" came, and I don't remember much after that, other than standing in the middle of the garage, dumbfounded, trying not to drop to my knees.
I cried a lot the next couple days, alone in my room. I still cry at times, when I think of how sad I was at that time, and how music made me feel like I wasn't alone.
A couple years later, I watched my brother become a fan of Nirvana, and I watched him feel the way I had felt. People worried about the sad Kurt Cobain posters on his bedroom wall, and worried that he was just as sad. I'm sure he was.
One night, as my parents were busy worrying about him, and the cops were worrying about his Nirvana posters, I locked my bedroom door, and pretended that nothing was going on. I smoked a few cigarettes, had a hoot, and cranked up some John Lennon on my stereo.
I was hoping to send a subtle message. I don't think it got through.
But music saved him too.
Our artists suffer, so we don't have to.
Mar 28, 2008
Happy Birthday Smyrish!
Today is gonna be a crazy busy day. I have to finish my spring cleaning and I have a meeting with my boss, which I am expecting to be less than joyous. But, today is also the Hawksley Workman concert, and Smyrishs' birthday extravaganza, and those are good fun things. I am not going to have time to do any shopping though, so instead of a present, Smyrish gets a list of all, well some, of the things I love about him. Sure, it's cheap, but what can I say, it's not his real birthday yet, so he'll just have to wait. ;)
1. His big smile. You should see his eyes light up when that big grin covers his face.
2. The way he can fall asleep, anywhere, anytime. Sure, I tease him, but really, I think it's pretty cute.
3. His ability to be spontaneous and up for anything astounds me and excites me. I'll never forget our spontaneous road trip to Toon Town in the middle of the night last summer.
4. Even when he hasn't brushed his teeth, I want to kiss his soft, sweet lips.
5. He reminds me to not stress out over the small stuff, and to only worry about the big things in life.
6. Even though he is younger than me, he never makes me feel old.
7. He is goofy and hyper in a way that I will never be, but I love how his energy rubs off on me, and those around him.
8. I don't care what he says, he has the sweetest ass in town.
9. Our relationship is so far from dramatic, it took me awhile to get used to it. Now, I love the calm and the comfort we have.
10. I tell him to stop it, and leave me alone, but it's pretty funny when he tries to put his fingers up my nose.
11. Whenever I am feeling gross and ugly, he tells me he thinks I am beautiful. And I know he means it.
12. When he snuggles up to me on the couch, he reminds me of a kitten.
13. Watching him with children and babies gets my ovaries roaring.
14. He wants to experience as much as possible in life, and I see many adventures in our future. I can't see us ever being bored.
15. He is comfortable talking to everyone. The crazy people downtown, my family and people he has just met.
16. I love that he writes me little notes that say "I think you're super!", and adds to my "to-do" lists when he sees them with things like "Spank Smyrish's sweet ass".
17. A friend of mine once told me that when I found someone with a VW van that liked to camp and go on Sunday drives in the country, I'd have met my match. Creepy, how when I wasn't even looking, he showed up.
18. Doing nice things like bringing me and Knuckle Toes food when we're stuck in our festival booth, and offering to help around the house or pick up my mom, comes completely natural to him. You don't see that as often as you should, these days, people you know you can count on, no matter what, and expect nothing in return.
19. Sometimes, I just want to crawl into that big brain of his, and find out where all his crazy and wonderful ideas come from.
20. When he is around, I know that I am safe, and everything will be okay.
21. He gives great back rubs, and always helps me put lotion on my back when I am itchy.
22. He is open-minded and accepts people for they are. And he accepts me for who I am, even when I am moody, stressed out and acting like I'm from CrazyTown. He acknowledges the fact that I can be a real weirdo, but puts up with me anyways. I know I can just be me when I'm with him, and I never have to put on an act to make him happy.
23. He loves my friends, and my friends love him, we get along with each other's relatives and we're all just one big happy family.
24. He has the cutest bed head I've ever seen. The site of a cowlick has never made me so happy inside.
25. I don't know if he knows it, but he makes me want to be a better person, for myself, and for the good of the earth.
26. He is one of a kind, and I'm lucky he's mine.
That was way too easy. I could have gone on forever I think. But maybe I'll save the rest for next year.
Happy birthday, Smyrish. I hope your birthday party kicks royal ass, and I'll see you after I'm finished ogling Hawksley.
1. His big smile. You should see his eyes light up when that big grin covers his face.
2. The way he can fall asleep, anywhere, anytime. Sure, I tease him, but really, I think it's pretty cute.
3. His ability to be spontaneous and up for anything astounds me and excites me. I'll never forget our spontaneous road trip to Toon Town in the middle of the night last summer.4. Even when he hasn't brushed his teeth, I want to kiss his soft, sweet lips.
5. He reminds me to not stress out over the small stuff, and to only worry about the big things in life.
6. Even though he is younger than me, he never makes me feel old.
7. He is goofy and hyper in a way that I will never be, but I love how his energy rubs off on me, and those around him.
8. I don't care what he says, he has the sweetest ass in town.
9. Our relationship is so far from dramatic, it took me awhile to get used to it. Now, I love the calm and the comfort we have.
10. I tell him to stop it, and leave me alone, but it's pretty funny when he tries to put his fingers up my nose.
11. Whenever I am feeling gross and ugly, he tells me he thinks I am beautiful. And I know he means it.
12. When he snuggles up to me on the couch, he reminds me of a kitten.
13. Watching him with children and babies gets my ovaries roaring.
14. He wants to experience as much as possible in life, and I see many adventures in our future. I can't see us ever being bored.
15. He is comfortable talking to everyone. The crazy people downtown, my family and people he has just met.
16. I love that he writes me little notes that say "I think you're super!", and adds to my "to-do" lists when he sees them with things like "Spank Smyrish's sweet ass".
17. A friend of mine once told me that when I found someone with a VW van that liked to camp and go on Sunday drives in the country, I'd have met my match. Creepy, how when I wasn't even looking, he showed up.18. Doing nice things like bringing me and Knuckle Toes food when we're stuck in our festival booth, and offering to help around the house or pick up my mom, comes completely natural to him. You don't see that as often as you should, these days, people you know you can count on, no matter what, and expect nothing in return.
19. Sometimes, I just want to crawl into that big brain of his, and find out where all his crazy and wonderful ideas come from.
20. When he is around, I know that I am safe, and everything will be okay.
21. He gives great back rubs, and always helps me put lotion on my back when I am itchy.
22. He is open-minded and accepts people for they are. And he accepts me for who I am, even when I am moody, stressed out and acting like I'm from CrazyTown. He acknowledges the fact that I can be a real weirdo, but puts up with me anyways. I know I can just be me when I'm with him, and I never have to put on an act to make him happy.
23. He loves my friends, and my friends love him, we get along with each other's relatives and we're all just one big happy family.
24. He has the cutest bed head I've ever seen. The site of a cowlick has never made me so happy inside.
25. I don't know if he knows it, but he makes me want to be a better person, for myself, and for the good of the earth.
26. He is one of a kind, and I'm lucky he's mine.
That was way too easy. I could have gone on forever I think. But maybe I'll save the rest for next year.
Happy birthday, Smyrish. I hope your birthday party kicks royal ass, and I'll see you after I'm finished ogling Hawksley.
Mar 25, 2008
5 on the 25
I forgot to publish. :)
1. I am sorry if I got you in trouble, sometimes, the lines of communication are just fucked up.
2. I am crossing my fingers, and am going to do my best to keep that dark cloud that's comin' from raining on our parade.
3. I wish I would have kept in touch over the years. It's my fault we are no longer friends, and I'm sorry for that.
4. You are a pretty lucky guy, to have such a cool mom.
5. Next time, let us both keep our big mouths shut!
1. I am sorry if I got you in trouble, sometimes, the lines of communication are just fucked up.
2. I am crossing my fingers, and am going to do my best to keep that dark cloud that's comin' from raining on our parade.
3. I wish I would have kept in touch over the years. It's my fault we are no longer friends, and I'm sorry for that.
4. You are a pretty lucky guy, to have such a cool mom.
5. Next time, let us both keep our big mouths shut!
Mar 20, 2008
This Springy Thingy
With this fresh layer of snow from last night, and the grey skies, it sure doesn't feel like Spring today, but officially, it is. And thank Jeebus for that. Winter was just one big pain in the butt.
Spring is my favorite of all the seasons. Socks and coats are no longer necessary, there are puddles to jump in and around, and everyone's mood and attitude changes from icky and negative to springy and positive.
Spring brings the promise of change and BBQ's and impromptu Frisbee games and pints in the sunshine, walks in the park and camping and suntans and beach days, pretty skirts and tank tops and boys playing football around the skateboarders in the street.
Life is good in the Spring.
Spring is my favorite of all the seasons. Socks and coats are no longer necessary, there are puddles to jump in and around, and everyone's mood and attitude changes from icky and negative to springy and positive.
Spring brings the promise of change and BBQ's and impromptu Frisbee games and pints in the sunshine, walks in the park and camping and suntans and beach days, pretty skirts and tank tops and boys playing football around the skateboarders in the street.
Life is good in the Spring.
The "I Fucking Love Books" Meme
Saviabella has requested that I participate in this meme. How could I say no to anything literary?
1) What book are you reading right now?
Never, in all my life, have I only read one book at a time. In my purse, I have Tuesday's With Morrie, in my car I have By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept, my bathroom is storing Love, In The Time of Cholera and RMR, the Book, by Rick Mercer, my living room is waiting for me to finally finish Boogaloo on Second Avenue, which I started last summer, and my night table is housing Gonzo, They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, Eleanor Rigby, The Lizard Cage and Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, which I really should return to Knuckle Toes one day. The stacks of books on my entertainment centre and make-shift book shelf that I haven't had time to start yet is insane. I buy, buy, buy more than I have time to read. Eventually, I always make the time.
2) What was the last book you read on a plane?
I haven't been on a plane since 2003. I have no idea what I was reading back then. But, the last book I read on a train was Islands In the Stream by Ernest Hemingway. How I remember that, I'll never know.
3) What was the last book you read on a roadtrip?
When Smyrish and I went to Toon Town a couple weeks ago, I took along Tuesday's With Morrie. I also read the entire Travelodge handbook that was in the hotel room, just to learn everything Travelodge. I am positive all my Travelodge knowledge will be a hit at parties.
4) What is the most unusual place you found yourself reading?
Unusual? Like in a tree, or while driving, or walking laps at the Fieldhouse or around the lake, or floating on an air mattress, or while sitting on a swing in the playground at night? If those are unusual, then that's where.
5) What books would you take to keep you occupied on a two week vacation to the beach?
I guess I would take a couple of the many books I haven't read yet. See question #1.
6) Other bloggers I'd like some book recommendations from:
All of them. Preferrably the ones that live nearby. I always like to know what people are reading, so I might have the opportunity to borrow.
1) What book are you reading right now?
Never, in all my life, have I only read one book at a time. In my purse, I have Tuesday's With Morrie, in my car I have By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept, my bathroom is storing Love, In The Time of Cholera and RMR, the Book, by Rick Mercer, my living room is waiting for me to finally finish Boogaloo on Second Avenue, which I started last summer, and my night table is housing Gonzo, They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, Eleanor Rigby, The Lizard Cage and Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, which I really should return to Knuckle Toes one day. The stacks of books on my entertainment centre and make-shift book shelf that I haven't had time to start yet is insane. I buy, buy, buy more than I have time to read. Eventually, I always make the time.
2) What was the last book you read on a plane?
I haven't been on a plane since 2003. I have no idea what I was reading back then. But, the last book I read on a train was Islands In the Stream by Ernest Hemingway. How I remember that, I'll never know.
3) What was the last book you read on a roadtrip?
When Smyrish and I went to Toon Town a couple weeks ago, I took along Tuesday's With Morrie. I also read the entire Travelodge handbook that was in the hotel room, just to learn everything Travelodge. I am positive all my Travelodge knowledge will be a hit at parties.
4) What is the most unusual place you found yourself reading?
Unusual? Like in a tree, or while driving, or walking laps at the Fieldhouse or around the lake, or floating on an air mattress, or while sitting on a swing in the playground at night? If those are unusual, then that's where.
5) What books would you take to keep you occupied on a two week vacation to the beach?
I guess I would take a couple of the many books I haven't read yet. See question #1.
6) Other bloggers I'd like some book recommendations from:
All of them. Preferrably the ones that live nearby. I always like to know what people are reading, so I might have the opportunity to borrow.
Mar 18, 2008
Mar 11, 2008
I'm Not Ready.
So, last night, I am sitting on the couch, with my feet in my foot spa, drinking a cup of tea, and the phone rings. I look at the call display, and see that is my aunt from Small Town. I stared at the phone, wondering if I should even bother answering. I was having a good day, and I figured a long distance call from someone who has never called me before, would never be a good thing. I mustered my courage, and answered anyways.
"Hello?"
"Abigail, it's Auntie. Now, I have some news, and it's not good news, but it's not that bad either. It just sucks. Please don't get upset, I already scared your uncle when I called him."
"Um, okay, what's up?"
"Your mom is in the hospital. She had a fall, and broke her right wrist, and had a reaction to the pain meds they gave her, and she needs to come to The City for surgery."
She continued to tell me the rest of the story, what had to be done, who I had to call, and what I had to do and expect. We chatted for awhile, then I hung up the phone and called the brothers to let them know what happened.
Now, my first instinct was to drive home. But, I stopped myself. I knew I could help by picking her up when she needed me to, and looking after her once she was here, and if she needs me, I can go and stay with her in Small Town for awhile until her arm is better.
As I was sorting out this mess in my head, I thought of a passage from an Erma Bombeck book I stole from my mom's book shelf about ten years ago. (Sorry, mom.) She is contemplating the transition of power between mother and daughter, and why and when she became the mother, and her mother became the child. She needs to take care of her mother, but they both rebel against it. She still wants to be a kid, and her mother is not ready to step down yet.
I remember the first time I witnessed this between my mom and her mother. We had to stop at Nana's house, on the way home, and mom sent me inside. When I got in the house, Nana looked stoned, and was smiling and laughing as she told me she had been throwing up all afternoon. She said she was fine, and didn't need anything and rushed me out the door. I ran to the car.
"Mom, there's something wrong with Nan. She's actin' funny." I will never forget the look of fear on my mom's face, or how calm and cool she was while dealing with the situation.
My own transition has been slowly evolving since my dad died. The very first time I ever felt like an adult, was the day we went to the funeral home, and planned the funeral. I got to have a say in the arrangements, what urn we would buy, etc. Mom asked me my opinion on things, and let me take hold of the reigns a bit, even though I wasn't really sure that I wanted to, deep down.
The transition started to speed up this past summer, when my mom found out she had Bueger's Disease. I never really worried about her before this. Even after my dad died, I knew that my mom was strong, and could look after herself, and although I wasn't as close as I wanted to be to her, she had a great support system of friends and family in Small Town, if she needed anything. Then, all of a sudden, I was taking her to appointment after appointment. It was me that was sitting in the hospital, annoying doctor's and nurses, waiting for results and tests and worrying about my mother, just as she had done when I was in the hospital. I started wishing that I could just be a kid again, and mom could just go back to being strong and healthy and looking after me. I realized, that if something bad ever happened, I would be put in her place, take on that position of power. It would be me that would look after her, or the boys, and all the other things in between. I was a bit angry with the world, and wanted my mom to stop aging, because she was just dragging me along with her, and I wasn't ready to grow up and worry about these things.
The truth is, I can handle anything that's thrown at me. I get that from my mom. I am strong and independent, just like she is, and a broken arm, isn't the end of the world, it just sucks. But today, I am feeling old, and just wish that we could go back twenty-five years, when our roles were more clear, and mom was the one who had to take care of my scrapes and bruises and wipe away my tears, and I could just go through life knowing that no matter what, I was being taken care of, by the strongest woman in the world.
"Hello?"
"Abigail, it's Auntie. Now, I have some news, and it's not good news, but it's not that bad either. It just sucks. Please don't get upset, I already scared your uncle when I called him."
"Um, okay, what's up?"
"Your mom is in the hospital. She had a fall, and broke her right wrist, and had a reaction to the pain meds they gave her, and she needs to come to The City for surgery."
She continued to tell me the rest of the story, what had to be done, who I had to call, and what I had to do and expect. We chatted for awhile, then I hung up the phone and called the brothers to let them know what happened.
Now, my first instinct was to drive home. But, I stopped myself. I knew I could help by picking her up when she needed me to, and looking after her once she was here, and if she needs me, I can go and stay with her in Small Town for awhile until her arm is better.
As I was sorting out this mess in my head, I thought of a passage from an Erma Bombeck book I stole from my mom's book shelf about ten years ago. (Sorry, mom.) She is contemplating the transition of power between mother and daughter, and why and when she became the mother, and her mother became the child. She needs to take care of her mother, but they both rebel against it. She still wants to be a kid, and her mother is not ready to step down yet.
I remember the first time I witnessed this between my mom and her mother. We had to stop at Nana's house, on the way home, and mom sent me inside. When I got in the house, Nana looked stoned, and was smiling and laughing as she told me she had been throwing up all afternoon. She said she was fine, and didn't need anything and rushed me out the door. I ran to the car.
"Mom, there's something wrong with Nan. She's actin' funny." I will never forget the look of fear on my mom's face, or how calm and cool she was while dealing with the situation.
My own transition has been slowly evolving since my dad died. The very first time I ever felt like an adult, was the day we went to the funeral home, and planned the funeral. I got to have a say in the arrangements, what urn we would buy, etc. Mom asked me my opinion on things, and let me take hold of the reigns a bit, even though I wasn't really sure that I wanted to, deep down.
The transition started to speed up this past summer, when my mom found out she had Bueger's Disease. I never really worried about her before this. Even after my dad died, I knew that my mom was strong, and could look after herself, and although I wasn't as close as I wanted to be to her, she had a great support system of friends and family in Small Town, if she needed anything. Then, all of a sudden, I was taking her to appointment after appointment. It was me that was sitting in the hospital, annoying doctor's and nurses, waiting for results and tests and worrying about my mother, just as she had done when I was in the hospital. I started wishing that I could just be a kid again, and mom could just go back to being strong and healthy and looking after me. I realized, that if something bad ever happened, I would be put in her place, take on that position of power. It would be me that would look after her, or the boys, and all the other things in between. I was a bit angry with the world, and wanted my mom to stop aging, because she was just dragging me along with her, and I wasn't ready to grow up and worry about these things.
The truth is, I can handle anything that's thrown at me. I get that from my mom. I am strong and independent, just like she is, and a broken arm, isn't the end of the world, it just sucks. But today, I am feeling old, and just wish that we could go back twenty-five years, when our roles were more clear, and mom was the one who had to take care of my scrapes and bruises and wipe away my tears, and I could just go through life knowing that no matter what, I was being taken care of, by the strongest woman in the world.
Abigail's Archives Meme
The bloggiest of all bloggers, my pal Schmutzie, tagged thee in a meme. I was happy to be tagged, as I only have sad, pitiful things to write about today, and it is too darn nice outside to be depressing. Plus, doing this meme gave me a chance to go through my archives a bit, and find some happy posts that made me feel so much better.
The meme's rules:
1. Go through your archives and link to five of your favourite posts that you have written.
· Link one must be a post about family.
· Link two must be a post about friends.
· Link three must be a post about yourself.
· Link four must be a post about something you love.
· Link five can be a post about anything you choose.
2. Tag five other people to do this meme. Two of them must be people you already know so that you can get to know each other better.
Family: A Tribute to Big Bad Bob
Friends: Family Values
Myself: The Hot List, Continued.
Something I love: Camping Trip 2005
Wild card: The Recent Adventures of Abigail, Part One
I tag thee, and do what you want with it:
Wench
Madame Diva
Jonesalicious
Eat, Bitch and Whine
Miss Nicola
The meme's rules:
1. Go through your archives and link to five of your favourite posts that you have written.
· Link one must be a post about family.
· Link two must be a post about friends.
· Link three must be a post about yourself.
· Link four must be a post about something you love.
· Link five can be a post about anything you choose.
2. Tag five other people to do this meme. Two of them must be people you already know so that you can get to know each other better.
Family: A Tribute to Big Bad Bob
Friends: Family Values
Myself: The Hot List, Continued.
Something I love: Camping Trip 2005
Wild card: The Recent Adventures of Abigail, Part One
I tag thee, and do what you want with it:
Wench
Madame Diva
Jonesalicious
Eat, Bitch and Whine
Miss Nicola
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)