Oct 28, 2009

A Post in Which I Show You Pictures of My Dog

My dog has a bit of an attitude problem lately.

If he isn't sleeping on the couch, he's up and about, eating garbage, pooping all over the place, or hiding rotting food in his doggy bed for a special meal at a later date, among other things.

If you yell at him, send him to his kennel, spank his bum, or threaten death upon him, he either turns his head around backwards to ignore you, or barks back. He's really mouthy lately, has an answer for everything. Sometimes, he'll even slap my face, so I've started to threaten the same thing. When I do threaten him, I sound like Stewart's mother from Mad TV.

You'd think that he'd be grateful. We buy him expensive food, take him to the vet when he needs to go, give him treats, take him for car rides and walks, and I have even given up, and let him sleep on my pillow every night. But no, he's still a bad boy. Fucking teenagers, and their know-it-all attitudes.

* No worries though, I do love my Patches with all my heart. He's just bad to the bone, a rebel without a cause....and he knows it. He also knows he's cute as a button, and all will be forgiven, as long as he does something sweet or silly. He's a smart little fucker.

Grace in Small Things #32

1. Veggie ground round.

2. My mom being healthy.

3. Etsy purchases when they come in the mail. Even though these aren't for me, it was still exciting, and I can't wait until Xmas when I can give them to those special people.

4. Doing my laundry at work. Sure, it's not allowed...but I just don't give a shit.

5. Daydreaming of California, and what it will be like when we move there.....

Oct 25, 2009

The Exercise Schedule

Although I have been pretty good at getting a lot of swimming done every week since I got back from California, I decided tonight that I really needed to have some sort of schedule, to properly keep exercise a part of my day, as well as add in some new exercises that my body needs. It can be hard to keep on track, what with an ever-changing work schedule, being on-call, exhausted from extra shifts, and so on. Also, soon it will be cold....and all Saskatchewan residents know that once it freezes over, it is extremely hard to feel motivated to do anything other than lay on the couch, and try and stay warm.

So, I present you with.....the weekly exercise schedule.

I have posted it on my fridge, I have posted it on dailyburn.com, and I am now posting it here.

Monday - Aquacise, 6pm.
Tuesday - Yoga at home, or recumbent bike at the gym
Wednesday - Weights at home, or weights at the gym
Thursday - Yoga at home, or recumbent bike at the gym
Friday - Aquacise, 9:30am
Saturday - walk outside, or walk at the track
Sunday - Swimming, 6:30pm

( Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are the hardest to plan, as I am on-call, and work til midnight each day. I kept it simple, and will try to add on a swim or walk if at all possible)

Extras, that I already do, or will be doing:

Dog walks, daily
Swimming at work, 1-2 times a week, for 45 minutes
Deep Water Workout class, after Monday aquacise, from Nov 2 - Dec 14
Walks at work, at least 1x per week

Nutrition Rules:
No chips
No fast food
I will not keep beer in the house
I will try, as much as my schedule will allow, not to eat after 9pm

Feel free to be annoying and ask me how I am doing, and if I am slacking, breaking the rules, losing weight, feeling better, feeling worse, whatever. Your questions will motivate me not to quit.

5 on the 25

A few random sentences, for a few random folks that I adore.....

1. If your birthday party is as fun as it was last year, I will have to be prepared for a Tuesday hangover. I hope you have a good one!

2. I am so grateful for everything you do for me. You really have no idea. I don't know what I did to be so lucky.

3. I know, I saw you in June, but that seems so long ago! I can't wait to see you on Friday and catch up! Halloween is going to be so much better with you here to party with!

4. Seeing your smiling, glowing face on Thursday night, made my week.

5. You live so close, and yet I haven't seen you in ages it seems. We need to remedy this situation soon, I'm going through withdrawal.

Oct 18, 2009

Grace in Small Things #31

1. It's my day off today, and the weather is beautiful.

2. If I can find my husband, I am going to convince him to go for a drive in the country.

3. I'll even take the dog for a walk out there.

4. And buy pumpkins....carving isn't my thing, but I love roasting the seeds.

5. It's nice to have the energy to want to do something other than sit and watch T.V.

Oct 4, 2009

The End. Good-bye Master Cleanse.

Even though this would be day six, and I have yet to eat today, I technically finished five days of the Master Cleanse.

When it came to the whole not eating part of the cleanse, it was actually quite easy for me. I was craving popcorn and battered mushrooms for some reason the past three days, and last night, I gave in and had the popcorn, even though I wasn't all that hungry. But it was oh, sooooo goood.

The problem for me with this cleanse, is that I really didn't feel "cleansed" at all. Everything I read told me that I was going to shit out decades of waste that was just hanging out in my colon, and well, I don't think that I did. I did the Sea Salt Water Chug one day, and that was enough. The taste, and the intense stomach cramps that came after, were nothing short of horrendous. I would have rather had the flu. I truly do think, that I am not as unhealthy as I previously thought....there was just nothing in me to evacuate.

I lost about 8-10 pounds. which is good I guess, but for me, that is the equivalent of a regular sized person losing one pound. It's a start I guess, and hopefully I can keep it off.

By day three, I realized how easy it was for me to not eat at all. Sure, I was tired, and my daily swim was hard with no real energy, but I dealt. I figured I could just starve myself until 20 pounds dropped off, and then go from there.

I probably could have. However, by day four, my brain had gotten confused, and thought that I was starving myself because I was depressed, and not because I was "cleansing". That is not good.

My annual mental anguish and depression, that I am accustomed to, kicked in in a matter of hours. Next thing I knew, I was sad, hating myself, and planning on becoming an anorexic, just to make myself look sexy, and make others happy. (Sound crazy? Yup, sure does!) Little comments from people that meant nothing, all of a sudden meant everything to me.

I realized late last night, that I was not doing this cleanse anymore to feel better physically, but because I was depressed....and when I am depressed, I tend not to eat. My appetite is non-existent.

So, today I am going to try and ween myself back on to food. I have to take it easy, otherwise I will be shitting all the live long day. I have planned some healthy meals and snacks to take to work with me this week, and hope that eating well, and continuing my daily exercise, will help kick this depression to the curb.

In short, the Master Cleanse just didn't work for me, the way it was supposed to, although it has worked for some, and may work for you. All I wanted was to feel better, and lose 20 pounds in a week like Beyonce, but hey, you don't always get what you want.