My dog has a bit of an attitude problem lately.
If he isn't sleeping on the couch, he's up and about, eating garbage, pooping all over the place, or hiding rotting food in his doggy bed for a special meal at a later date, among other things.
If you yell at him, send him to his kennel, spank his bum, or threaten death upon him, he either turns his head around backwards to ignore you, or barks back. He's really mouthy lately, has an answer for everything. Sometimes, he'll even slap my face, so I've started to threaten the same thing. When I do threaten him, I sound like Stewart's mother from Mad TV.
You'd think that he'd be grateful. We buy him expensive food, take him to the vet when he needs to go, give him treats, take him for car rides and walks, and I have even given up, and let him sleep on my pillow every night. But no, he's still a bad boy. Fucking teenagers, and their know-it-all attitudes.
* No worries though, I do love my Patches with all my heart. He's just bad to the bone, a rebel without a cause....and he knows it. He also knows he's cute as a button, and all will be forgiven, as long as he does something sweet or silly. He's a smart little fucker.