Dec 28, 2009

Grace in Small Things #42

1. Our new Wii Fit. It is making exercise fun, and I am proud to say, I am already a Yoga master and Hula Hoop champion!

2. Supper at Red Lobster tonight. Started out as a date night, but now it's a group of people. Ah well, should still be fun anyways.

Dec 22, 2009

Grace in Small Things #41

1. The Hawksley Workman tickets are here. Now I just have to track down Wench and pay for them.

2. Crying throughout "Glee".

3. Garlic bread.

4. Realizing that I shouldn't feel lonely, because I have Smyrish and the fur babies to keep me company.

5. Christmas shopping is done, and presents are wrapped.

Fuck Xmas, Yo.

Is it January 2nd yet? No? Motherfucker, I wish it was.

I think I have already had my annual Xmas mental breakdown, although I took it out on the dogs this time, instead of the handicapped people at work, who usually have to see me lose my mind, and sit on the floor crying and whining about how hard life is, and how I "just can't handle this shit anymore". Once the annual temper tantrum is over, I have a day of energy and productivity, and then I just go into auto-pilot until the holidays are over.

Christmas has never been my favorite time of year. I don't know what it is, but starting the week before, I am in a mood. I take everything a little bit too personally, everything is just a little too hard to deal with, and it takes all the inner strength I can muster up, just to get through until New Year's Day without killing myself or others. Usually, as soon as I know all the hullabaloo is over, I am calmer, happier, and am no longer having suicidal or murderous thoughts.

I don't know if it's the shopping, the pressure to make that one day the best day of the year for everyone around you, or the social and family commitments that I either can, or cannot attend, but it is all just too much. Sometimes I wish I was Jehovah's Witness or something, so I didn't have to deal.

Once Christmas Day is over, the stress of New Year's Eve is upon me. I never know what to do, where to go, who to hang out with. It always ends up being a fun party, no matter what I choose to do, but this year, it seems to be harder to make this decision, mostly because I feel like I am out of the loop with everyone I used to hang out with. I haven't hung out with the girls in so long, that I don't even know what or how they are doing, or what I would tell them if they asked me those questions. At the same time, I know I am not interested in braving the pub on a busy night like that, so I'm flip-flopping between house parties, trying to figure out where I would feel more comfortable, or welcome.

Blarg. Eleven more days, and all of this will be over, and I can concentrate on getting the hell away from here for a couple weeks. If Cuba works out nicely, and we decide to never come back, I'll get one of you to send the dogs to us, and the rest of our things you can divvy up amongst yourselves. :)

Dec 21, 2009

Happy Blogoversary To Me!

Sunday was my 6th annual blogoversary. To celebrate this wondrous occasion, I compiled a list of things you may or may not know about moi, or my blog, and then I went to Dougal's wake, got really drunk, and forgot to post it.

1. I first started making money off sewing when I was 15. I created a really cool patchwork floppy toque, and all the snowboarders in town went wild for them. Most of the boys in my grade bought one off me for $20.00 a piece. I wish I still had mine to show you.

2. The number of comments on blog posts that I get, has drastically decreased since I am no longer single, and have less depressing, or sordid things to write about. (Not that being single is a bad thing, it is just sometimes more interesting.) However, I am very happy that my life is no longer in a constant state of depression and chaos.

3. If I don't eat eggs in the morning, I feel like crap for the rest of the day. Since I rarely take time for breakfast, most days I feel like a big pile of shit.

4. My favorite thing to do with my dad, was go for a Sunday drive all over hells half acre, snooping through old abandoned farm houses and then checking out all the cars that were for sale in the area.

5. I have written my name in a closet of every place I have ever lived or worked, or spent any amount of time in that I deemed special. All "entries" are dated.

6. I know I am playing too much online Scrabble when I am dreaming about words and anagrams.

7. I have been to over 30 funerals. Actually, I stopped counting at 30, because goddamn, that's a depressing thing to keep track of.

8. If I could do whatever I wanted in life, I would live in a lake front cottage year round, work from home, fish and swim everyday and have Stella Artois always on hand.

9. All I want for Christmas is a maid.

10. The three most popular posts since I started have been "Just Girl Stuff" , "The Recent Adventures of Abigail, Part Two" and "90 Days" .

11. I do not believe in divorce, unless there is something absolutely tragic and abusive going on. That is why I never thought I would get married. I never wanted to put myself in a position where I would have to legally break-up with someone, over something trivial that just drove me nuts. Luckily, my husband feels the same way.

12. I put garlic and dill into almost anything I cook.

13. I can only fall asleep on the cool side of the pillow.

14. Even though I took French throughout elementary and high school, I only know a handful of words, and maybe 2 or 3 phrases.

15. There is a blizzard on my birthday every single year, and it is never warmer that -35C. Luckily, this year, I'll be in Cuba. With my luck, it'll snow.

16. I brush my teeth, or rinse with mouthwash, every single time I go to the bathroom.

17. I used to be addicted to flossing my teeth, but now I usually forget to do it.

18. There are so many things I would like to tell the readers of my blog, but because of some of the people who read it, I can't.

19. My favorite pizza is the steak and mushroom melt from Panago.

20. My favorite scents are vanilla, the air after a summer rain, dill and the smell of a boat starting up.

21. I would guess that 60% of each day I live, is dedicated to cleaning up feces between home and work.

22. I really hate pointy toed shoes. Maybe because they look ridiculous on me.

23. Although I am jealous of their weekends off, EDO's, holidays, etc., I could never in a million years work in an office. I like not having scheduled breaks, and the option to be outside whenever I want, and rarely do I have to be up in the morning.

24. I have always had a strange fashion sense. My mom has some funny stories about the outfits I used to pick out as a kid. I still stand by my decisions.

25. The age of twenty-five was so horrible for me, that I wouldn't wish twenty-five upon my worst enemy.

26. One of the worst books I have ever read was "a-A Novel" by Andy Warhol.

27. I am totally "Team Jacob". I understand why she liked Edward in the first place, but c'mon, by the second book, us adults should know in our hearts that he's trouble, and just likes her, because he can control her. I've been there. So fuck you Edward, and your shiny skin.

28. I cannot go to bed, without a glass of water at my side.

29. I really, truly hate the fact that everyone in the world is so addicted to their cell phones, IPhone, Blackberry's, etc. Put down your gadget, and pay attention to the world around you once in a while, it's a pretty neat place.

30. Cream of mushroom soup, is only good with a pile of crackers, and a pinch of pepper.

31. I love Micheal Jackson. He makes my booty shake like nobodies business.

32. I think New Year's Eve is highly over-rated.

33. If I could go back to any place I have ever travelled, I would choose Churchill, Manitoba, Scotland and Venice Beach.

34. Before I'm dead and gone, I want to travel to Costa Rica, Mexico, Australia, Spain and New York City.

35. I am really bad at keeping in touch with people.

36. My number one guilty pleasure would have to be reading trashy tabloid magazines.

37. Malls scare me.

38. I hate watching myself on video. I always look and sound like a freakin' idiot.

39. In a huge percentage of photos ever taken of me, I am sticking out my tongue. I can't help it though, if I see a camera pointed in my direction, it just happens. However, after looking at photos from my wedding, I can see that it is hereditary. Most of my cousins on my mom's side do the same thing.

40. Although I love my blog, and love writing in general, life just gets in the way sometimes, and I don't post regularly, or write fluff posts just to fill the space. I have promised myself, that 2010 will be a "good writing year".

Dec 18, 2009

Xmas Letters

Dear Maggie and Patches,

I love you both with all my heart, but you really need to pee on the training pads, not beside them. Also, I am looking into doggie rehab for your garbage addictions. I'll keep you posted.

Love, Mommy

Dear Co-worker Who Regularly Does Not Show Up for Shifts,

Last night, I had my car warming up, my boots on, and was ready to leave, as I had already been at work for ten hours. When I looked at the clock, and it was 12:10am, I knew you weren't coming. The least you could have done, was phone, or at least answer your phone when I called you.

Oh, and you're gonna be fired, so fuck you. Then I won't have to deal with your shit anymore.

Yours Truly, Your Boss


Dear Chick on her Cell Phone,

I hope next time you are texting and driving during rush hour, on icy streets, you crash into a light post. Sound harsh? Well, you almost crashed into me, and I'd rather I be alive than have you driving around yapping on your cell phone about the Jonas Brothers, or how so-an-so totally looked at your funny in class today.

Friends Forever, Abigail


Dear Smyrish,

If it wasn't for you, I'd go mad. Thank you for being at home today and letting me interrupt your work with kisses.

Love always, Your Wife

Dec 14, 2009


I never really thought about this whole H1N1 flu, or took it seriously at all, until today, when I found out that it killed a friend of mine.

To be honest, most of our pub crew never really knew Dougal all that well. He was the fat, funny guy, who liked his beer a bit too much. He said things that he probably shouldn't say at times, and made people wonder about him...but really, don't we all say and do things we shouldn't when we're drinking? I would say yes. If you don't agree, you are lying to yourself. At the same time though, for those of us who took the time to get to know him, knew that he was a big-hearted, genuine, all-around nice guy, who was just looking to fit in, and be loved.

Dougal and I were not super close, but we were friends nonetheless. We met at The Pub, on my 29th birthday. When Mr. Head introduced us, Dougal told me I was the prettiest birthday girl he had ever seen and kissed my hand. We ended up hanging out quite a bit over the next couple years, usually drinking beers and having a laugh. When we ran into each other, he always told me I was beautiful, that he was happy to see me, and I would blush. He would then tell me how great my husband was, and how lucky we were to have each other. He was one of the only people in the world, I actually believed when I was complimented.

Whether you knew it or not, if Dougal sat with you , talked to you, whatever, he liked you. If you were sad, he was sad with you, and if you were happy, he celebrated for you.

It really knocked me on my ass when I learned of his passing today. All I could think of was "But, he's my age." People our age aren't supposed to die yet. It's just not right. We're still kids..aren't we?

To quote a friend's Facebook status today: "R.I.P Dougal Ross, I hope wherever you are, the pints are cold and delicious." So, so long, Dougal. It was nice knowin' ya, and thanks for always making me feel special, for the bear hugs, and for making me laugh. The Pub just won't be the same without you.

For those who knew him: There will be no official funeral service, however Mr. Head has planned a wake, which will be held on Sunday, Dec. 20th @ 7pm, at O'Hanlon's.

Dec 11, 2009

Grace in Small Things #40

1. The smell of brown sugar.

2. My good friend, Wench.

3. Harry Potter books that are waiting to be read.

4. A day with no commitments.

Dec 10, 2009

Oh Jebus, Xmas is Coming

You can tell Christmas is coming, when everyone is stressed out, cranky and complaining about a lack of money.

I am trying to be all "zen" about Christmas this year. I have realized that there is no way in hell I can please everyone, and with the short amount of time I have off from work, I can't even really please myself, and do exactly what I wanted to do, which would be having at least a few days to see everyone, and go everywhere. From what I understand, that's just the way it goes, once you're a married adult who has a job.

This year I will not be able to go to Small Town for Christmas, and instead we will be going to Smyrish's dad's place on Christmas Day, and his mom's on Boxing Day, so we're still getting good meals, and time to visit relatives before I have to get back to work. We even get to throw a Boxing Day brunch in there with a couple friends who do not have family here, and for that, I am grateful. To me, my friends are family too. I am also grateful that I have a mother that understands that regular everyday life doesn't stop just because it's a holiday. She understands that I have to work, and that I only have a day and a half to do the Xmas thing, and we can always get together another time. It's too bad my brother GQ isn't as understanding, because it would make this year much easier on me. I've missed out on Christmas before due to work, weather or car troubles, and the world didn't end. It just sucks a little, not to be involved in the Christmas traditions we become so accustomed to, after years of doing those same things, and seeing the same people.

The first Christmas after my dad died, was when I learned that life changes, and things don't always stay the way you want them to stay. Christmas morning was strange and awkward for me, even though our routine didn't change much. He wasn't sitting on the couch in his robe, watching us as we opened our presents, giving us lame advice on what we should do with our new things. We didn't have to beg him to hurry up and open his presents, and I couldn't laugh and roll my eyes at his "surprised" look when he opened the day planner that he got from us every single year. We made Xmas brunch ourselves, instead of eating his greasy, but yummy, mess of eggs and bacon.

Things just kept changing even more after that. Relatives and friends that I was used to seeing every year, got married or moved away, had babies, or started new jobs. Now I am married, and have an even bigger family to include in Christmas plans, and possibly one day we will have our own children, and we will start our own Christmas traditions, and people will just have to roll with it.

That's life.

Dec 9, 2009


You know that my paycheck isn't going to last until pay day, when I am staring at the contents of my kitchen cupboards, trying to invent a recipe that will make tuna, assorted beans, and butternut squash soup into a fabulous casserole that will feed us for at least a couple days.

Back in the day when my paycheck didn't last more than 48 hours, I was very creative in the kitchen. One winter I lived on, and came to enjoy, fried hashbrowns with ripped up tortilla shells, smothered in curry powder. Of course, there were the Mr. Noodle years, in which I learned to be very creative, adding frozen veggies and soya sauce for a "Chinese food night", or onions, dill and garlic powder for "Ukrainian Night". I still crave Mr. Noodles with Cheese Whiz from time to time, although once I have a bite, I am reminded that I only ate that glob of noodles and plastic cheese out of necessity, not because it is a culinary delight.

I rarely had any meat or vegetables in the fridge, because I just couldn't afford them, and couldn't afford to let them go to waste, in case I wasn't home. Pasta and rice come in bulk, and can last months, if rationed properly. The only condiments I ever had on hand were soya sauce and mustard, and occasionally mayonnaise, for those tuna sandwiches that I could afford to make from time to time.

Luckily, for the past couple years, I have not had to worry about not having food in the house. I am making fairly good money, and make a point of keeping the house stocked as best I can with good food. I have now turned into that person, who can look at a full refrigerator, and over-stocked cupboards, and say " Aw, there's nothing to eat", just because that one thing I'm craving isn't right in front of me.

However, on occasion, there comes a week like this. Exactly one week before pay day, I'm flat ass broke. I paid for my Cuba vacation, put winter tires on the car, paid all my bills like a good girl, and went on a short trip out of town to my mom's. To top it all off, now that I have nothing but the change at the bottom of my purse, poor little Patches Magee has an ear infection, and has to go to the vet today, which we all know is never cheap.

But don't feel bad for me. I ignored the fact that winter would eventually come, and didn't put away money for the tires. I already knew that I would have to pay for the Cuba trip this week, and I could have lived without my purchases that I made on my shopping spree in Small Town.

I just have to hope that this next week will fly by, and that nothing else comes up that requires money. It is much too cold out to be whoring myself on the corner with the other ladies of the night.

Dec 8, 2009

Fuck You, Winter

Current Weather Updated: Tuesday, December 8, 2009, 9:00 CST - Regina International Airport

A few clouds


A few clouds