Dec 18, 2009

Xmas Letters

Dear Maggie and Patches,

I love you both with all my heart, but you really need to pee on the training pads, not beside them. Also, I am looking into doggie rehab for your garbage addictions. I'll keep you posted.

Love, Mommy

Dear Co-worker Who Regularly Does Not Show Up for Shifts,

Last night, I had my car warming up, my boots on, and was ready to leave, as I had already been at work for ten hours. When I looked at the clock, and it was 12:10am, I knew you weren't coming. The least you could have done, was phone, or at least answer your phone when I called you.

Oh, and you're gonna be fired, so fuck you. Then I won't have to deal with your shit anymore.

Yours Truly, Your Boss


Dear Chick on her Cell Phone,

I hope next time you are texting and driving during rush hour, on icy streets, you crash into a light post. Sound harsh? Well, you almost crashed into me, and I'd rather I be alive than have you driving around yapping on your cell phone about the Jonas Brothers, or how so-an-so totally looked at your funny in class today.

Friends Forever, Abigail


Dear Smyrish,

If it wasn't for you, I'd go mad. Thank you for being at home today and letting me interrupt your work with kisses.

Love always, Your Wife

1 comment:

dk said...

Look doggies - she feeds you - be nice.

dump the bitch

I saw her - she almost got me too.

he really is wonderful ;)

biggest hugs and SO SO SO happy to see you tonight!