Jun 26, 2007

Dear Molly....

Dear Molly Magoo,

It's a good thing you're cute as a button, otherwise, you'd be getting an eviction notice. Mommy needs to sleep, and does not appreciate you smacking at her eyeballs, and eating her toes, while she is away in DreamLand.

I think that it is time for you to learn to sleep through the night, and not only when Mommy is away at work. Maybe you could spend your days chasing butterflies and birds, so you were tired out come Mommy's bedtime.

Also, your incessant crying, is getting to be a bit over-dramatic. You are a cat. You have food and water and toys and love. You get to eat my hair everyday, and your friend Trance is always up for a good wrestle and a chase through the living room. Life ain't so bad, sweetheart.

Love you lots, but you're making me crazy,

Mommy Magoo

P.S. The bathroom is not a vortex that is going to take me off to another dimension, never to return. So just chillax a wee bit.

Jun 25, 2007

To Do List

I successfully fucked the dog (not literally, you weirdos!) all weekend, and accomplished nothing at all. Unless you count drinking ungodly amounts of beer in my backyard on Saturday, and dealing with the hangover from hell all day Sunday, productive. Which I don't. Which means that in order to be ready to leave for my much-needed holiday this Friday, I have a whole kit and caboodle of things to get done, pronto.

Task #1: Fix my car. I need it to get to my destination.

Task #2: In the event that my car cannot be fixed, I need to go and buy one.

Task #3: Track down the elusive film maker who has my tent. And maybe somebody who can share The Tent That Love Built with me. ;)

Task #4: Lose 20 pounds, so I am not mortified by all the photos that will no doubt be taken of me in my bathing suit this coming weekend. (In retrospect, I probably should have started this one months ago)

Task #5: Conduct last minute camping meeting at The Pub, collect money from fellow campers, and figure out how we're all getting to the lake.

Task#6: Buy food, booze, ice, batteries for my camera, tarps and chemicals that make the fire turn pretty colours. Oh, and sparklers. We definately need sparklers for Canada Day!

Task #7: Finish all my supervisor duties at work, so I can properly enjoy my weekend, and forget, for at least a few days, that I even have a job.

Task #8: Figure out which is the pile of dirty clothes, and which is the pile of clean clothes, and pack accordingly.

Task#9: Pack everything up way too early, as usual, so I have to sit and stare at it, and act like a kid on Xmas Eve who just can't wait to open their presents, for the rest of this week.

Damn, do I love camping. Get me outta this feckin' city, and out to where the moose and the tourists play, so I can engage in more interesting tasks such as:

Fun Task #1: Drinking beer for breakfast.

Fun Task #2: Gettin' stoned and staring at the fire.

Fun Task#3: Golfing, while drunk of course.

Fun Task #4: Bathing in the lake.

Fun Task #5: Fending off mosquitos and bears.

Fun Task#6: Living off hotdogs and granola bars.

Fun Task #7: Visiting family and friends.

Fun Task #8: Wandering about in the bush in the middle of the night.

Fun Task #9: Singing out of tune songs in the wee hours of the morning.

Fun Task#10: Staying up to watch the sun rise, and then falling asleep, only to wake up an hour later, sweltering in the oven that is my tent, having to start another day.

Jun 24, 2007

Jun 23, 2007

Day 90 and Beyond

I have had a couple of readers ask me about Day 90, and how the healing is going. I had forgotten about my little psychological experiment, and had to go back to my day planner, and see exactly when it was. I am now on Day 119, so we'll say that considering I forgot about Day 90 completely, I'm doing okay.

Thanks to fantastic friends who put up with my constant depression and over-analyzing, and a couple of hot flings that are now over and done with, the healing was as quick as I could make it. Sure, my blood still boils a bit and I get a little sad, when I see certain photos, or hear certain stories, or think of certain events, but overall, I'm good, and am over that hump, and have accepted the fate of the relationship.

Before I sat down to write this entry today, I was perusing my email accounts, and came across the first email I ever received from him. It was sweet and funny and awkward, and it made me smile. I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel lonely, I didn't pine for him. I felt happy, in a way. Thankful for the boy who hunted me down and stole my heart.

My days were once spent wondering and thinking about him and his new girlfriend, and all of my faults and mistakes. That is no more, and I didn't even realize it until today. Now, my days are spent in the sunshine, daydreaming about camping and beach days. I am pining for a good laugh with my many wonderful friends whenever I am not with them. I have other things to worry about now, like getting a new car, doing the best I can at my job, and finding the time to sit down with a bottle of wine, and write music.

It's summertime, and life is good, as it always is when the weather is warm.

And on that note, I hear that it's beer o'clock, so I am going to get dressed and get back outside and sit in the backyard until the sun moves to the other side of the house, at which point, I will walk downtown and find my glorious friends, who will no doubt, already be half-cut, and laughing in the sunshine.

Jun 22, 2007

Kevin McDonald Meets the Pub Gang

Too bad I wasn't pissed, I would have actually had the guts to let him sign my tits, like Miss S asked him to. Maybe next time..and only if he does the "whole lotta milka" skit while he writes.

Until then, I am just going to keep my eyes peeled for more Kids in the Hall sightings downtown.

Jun 19, 2007

My Alcoholic Friends

A shout out to my homies......

Jun 17, 2007

A Sunday Evening Story

Once upon a time, a girl named Abigail bought a car. The car was old and starting to rust, and had driven many miles in its day, but it was a good car, and they got on well, right off the bat. It needed a bit of TLC here and there, but it was very dependable, and hardly ever let her down.

Then one day, it went missing. Hooligans had taken it for a joyride, and injured it quite badly. But Abigail tracked it down, and tried her best to nurse it back to health. Although it didn't look as good as it once did, it appeared healthy, and they were glad to be back together. They planned for camping trips, visits to friends and family. They thought that all they needed was a new back seat and a stereo, so they could belt out tunes on the highway.

Then one day, the cars alternator became sick. Abigail and the car enlisted the help of their dear friend Das Piper, and he spent a lot of time assisting Abigail in nursing the car back to health once again. It was a glorious moment, when the car started, and ran better than it had in weeks, for only sixty five bucks and a case of beer. It ran like the dickens, for approximately 24 hours.

Abigail walked out of work the next day, and the car wouldn't go. It wanted to, but it just couldn't. A mysterious illness had infected it while she was inside. Not even booster cables, or the V-Man could get it to go.

Abigail was angry. Abigail felt sad. She chose to leave the car where it was, and went home with the V-Man. Trying to forget about her troubles, she went out for drinks and dancing with her friends, but not even they could put her in a better mood, so she decided to go home.

Once home, Abigail realized that she did not have her keys. Nobody was home, and she couldn't get into the house in the middle of the night! Abigail figured that she had locked her keys in her car, all the way across town, and phoned the V-Man for help for the second time that day. He could come to the rescue right away! While she waited, she lit herself a campfire, and urinated in the garden. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

A few short hours later, Abigail dragged her tired arse to work again. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts at breaking into her car, she called Mr. Tow Truck and for thirty dollars, they broke in for her, and retrieved her keys. She considered getting them to tow her car to the middle of nowhere so she could light it on fire, but decided against it. Too expensive.

She worked hard all day, and stayed late. She missed the last bus home, and needed to call a cab. Abigail decided to give her car one more go. "Maybe, just maybe, it'll start", she thought to herself.

Low and behold, on the first try, it sprang to life. Everyone rejoiced!

Abigail, smiling, got in her car, and drove home, making sure to park in a spot where a mechanic or a tow truck could get in, if help was needed in the near future.

The car may not be tip top, but it got her home when she really needed it to. She will attempt to nurse it back to health just one more time, before sending it to the junkyard in the sky. For under 50 bucks, at least. ;)

Jun 16, 2007

Good Morning

Ahhh....it's so nice to wake up early, without a hangover, to the birds chirping, and the sun shining, two full hours before you have to be at work, and knowing that it'll only take you 10 minutes to get ready before you actually have to go there.

Now, if only I didn't have to go in to work, and I could just spend this beautiful day drinking coffee, playing in the dirt planting flowers and herbs, and reading books in the backyard.

Jun 13, 2007

Jun 11, 2007

Past, Present, Future Meme


First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Burtniak
Last sentence(s) you said: "Fuck Molly! That fucking hurts! Bad Kitty!"
Last song you sang and when: "I Used to Love Her", G'n'R, en route from Wilkie
Last person you hugged: I could be wrong, but I think it was Schmutzie. I hug a lot of people, so I can never be too sure.
Last person you laughed at: TJ, on the way back from Wilkie
Last time you said I don't remember: I don't remember, but it was probably earlier today.
Last time you swore: See Question #2, above.
Last person you talked to online: Does Wall-to-Wall on Facebook count? 'Cause if so, it was Red, and she was offering me custody of our dear friend, E.T.


What color socks are you wearing: I hate socks. And I will not be wearing any socks until the snow is at least up to my ankles, come Fall.
What's under your bed: Dust bunnies, a broken vibrator, a curling iron, and a couple of toques.
What time did you wake up today:7:45 am
Current taste: my palate is smothered in the combination of Fish Eye Shiraz and Curry flavoured potato chips.
Current hair: Caramel colored bed-head, full of frizzy ringlets, that are tickling my bare back.
Do you like someone: I like a ton of people.
Current worry: That my car will not start tomorrow.
Current hate: My cat, Molly Magoo, and her incessant whining.
Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: I want to say penis, but that isn't always so. I guess I do have an affinity for eyes you can lose yourself in, and a smile that makes you forget where you are for a moment.
Last CD that you listened to? My own mix of 'Serena Ryder's Greatest Hits Thus Far'
Favorite place to be right now: My backyard, around the fire, with some beers and good friends and good conversation
Least favorite place to be right now: Inside.
Play any instruments: No, I used to play piano and flute. However, that may become something I do once again, quite soon.
Do you believe in an afterlife: I do, in my own way.
Current favorite word/saying: My favorite word, has and always will be, "FUCK".
Favorite book: This week, my favorite books are "Boogaloo on 2nd Avenue", and "By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept".
One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: My paternal grandmother, and my dad, both passed on now. I have so many questions, so many apologies and so many topics I would like to bring up with them in conversation, over some meat and macaroni sandwiches, a pack of cigarettes and a glass of rum.


Are you going to have the white picket fence and the whole bit?: I highly fucking doubt it.
How many kids do you want: My hormones are in over-drive, having spent so much time with kids as of late, and I want to say one or two. But when it comes right down to it, I'm not sure if I want any.
If your dreams could come true, what would your lifetime career be?:I would like to be a Folk singer or Jazz singer, who ran a nice little shop full of her own creations, and her friends creations, when she wasn't on a world tour, of course.

One Night in Wilkie

I spent last night and today in the bustling metropolis of Wilkie, Saskatchewan.

A co-worker and I signed up for a one day workshop that was being hosted there on the topic of Sensory Processing Disorder, in the hopes that we would be given some new ideas and information to bring back to the agency, and to help some of our residents. It was a great workshop, and I got what I wanted from it.

But the one thing that was worth the almost 5 hour drive, was walking into our motel room and seeing the sign posted at left. Being a smoker, I immediately looked to see if it was a smoking room. Of course, it wasn't, but I laughed, no I howled with laughter, when I saw this sign. What kind of people stay in this small town motel room? What has happened in here in the past, that they were forced to post this sign? What exactly is "etc.", and were we in danger of getting caught smoking it?

Although we weren't planning on smoking any contraband in our motel room, we were hoping we could go and rock out at the small town bar, but being quite late on Sunday night when we arrived, we were out of luck, and just hung out at the motel, and were good little girls, who don't go out and get drunk before an important conference that was being paid for by our agency. Yep, that had to be a first for me.

But, it was a good time all around. I needed a good road trip, full of AC/DC and Guns 'n' Roses blasting from the rental car stereo, and it was good to get away from The City, and hit the highway, if only for a day.

I just wanted to keep on driving all the way to my own small town, on the other side of the province from where we were, and stay there and wait for my friends to meet me in a couple weeks out at the lake for the camping. Maybe I should have.

Jun 6, 2007

Martha, Martha, Martha

Because I have a strange habit of always needing to use the second stall in every public bathroom, this wee bit of graffiti has been driving me mad for months.

Every time I use the washroom at The Pub, I close the door to the stall, and am faced with this nonsensical sentence. I read it over and over, and end up leaving the bathroom, wanting to track down Martha W, whoever she is, and punch her right in the face. The line runs over and over in my head..."Martha W was here, I was *gibberish* I don't drink beer."

What the fuck were you trying to say Martha? If it was so important that you just had to write it on the bathroom wall, why couldn't you have written legibly?

I need to know what this says. I don't want to end up being committed to the Funny Farm one day, rocking back and forth in my chair, chanting that sentence over and over, and plotting the grisly death of Martha W. I'm sure she's a nice person, and I don't want some crazy nut (I mean, me) going after her like that.


Jun 5, 2007

Day Off

The last few days have been hectic. Between working a ridiculous amount of hours for the past 4 days, and playing for many hours in the sun on Saturday after only 2 hours sleep, I'm knackered. Today is the only day off I have this week, and although I have a million little things to do around the house, I just don't have the energy, or the motivation. Maybe it can all wait until the weekend?

Not only do I not have the motivation to be productive in the home, I can't even get my ass in gear to walk down to the store and visit for an hour or so with the Cookster, who I haven't seen in ages.

I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to make lunch, I am too lazy to walk to the store and get coffee. And when I am not running out the door to get coffee, you know I'm at my laziest.

It would probably be good for me to stay home today. Stay away from people. But one quick look at the Weather Channel, makes me think I should get out and about, and catch some rays, because rain is a-comin' tomorrow.

Blah, I don't know. Maybe I'll just grab some beer, a newspaper, and hole up in the backyard under the lilac tree, and deal with my mental and physical exhaustion all by myself.

It's a Little Late,but, I'm Just Learning How to Work my Camera.....

Here are a couple photos from the Arts Festival last week. Our booth kicked ass this year, I think we've got the set-up almost down pat. It was a super fun day! Knuckle Toes and her brother Zed had a good time too, although from this photo, you could never tell.

We did really well when it came to sales, the weather was just perfect, and we were so lucky to be right by the stage hosted by the local community radio station! Thanks to everyone who came by and visited!

I can't wait until Folk Fest!