To Do List

I successfully fucked the dog (not literally, you weirdos!) all weekend, and accomplished nothing at all. Unless you count drinking ungodly amounts of beer in my backyard on Saturday, and dealing with the hangover from hell all day Sunday, productive. Which I don't. Which means that in order to be ready to leave for my much-needed holiday this Friday, I have a whole kit and caboodle of things to get done, pronto.

Task #1: Fix my car. I need it to get to my destination.

Task #2: In the event that my car cannot be fixed, I need to go and buy one.

Task #3: Track down the elusive film maker who has my tent. And maybe somebody who can share The Tent That Love Built with me. ;)

Task #4: Lose 20 pounds, so I am not mortified by all the photos that will no doubt be taken of me in my bathing suit this coming weekend. (In retrospect, I probably should have started this one months ago)

Task #5: Conduct last minute camping meeting at The Pub, collect money from fellow campers, and figure out how we're all getting to the lake.

Task#6: Buy food, booze, ice, batteries for my camera, tarps and chemicals that make the fire turn pretty colours. Oh, and sparklers. We definately need sparklers for Canada Day!

Task #7: Finish all my supervisor duties at work, so I can properly enjoy my weekend, and forget, for at least a few days, that I even have a job.

Task #8: Figure out which is the pile of dirty clothes, and which is the pile of clean clothes, and pack accordingly.

Task#9: Pack everything up way too early, as usual, so I have to sit and stare at it, and act like a kid on Xmas Eve who just can't wait to open their presents, for the rest of this week.

Damn, do I love camping. Get me outta this feckin' city, and out to where the moose and the tourists play, so I can engage in more interesting tasks such as:

Fun Task #1: Drinking beer for breakfast.

Fun Task #2: Gettin' stoned and staring at the fire.

Fun Task#3: Golfing, while drunk of course.

Fun Task #4: Bathing in the lake.

Fun Task #5: Fending off mosquitos and bears.

Fun Task#6: Living off hotdogs and granola bars.

Fun Task #7: Visiting family and friends.

Fun Task #8: Wandering about in the bush in the middle of the night.

Fun Task #9: Singing out of tune songs in the wee hours of the morning.

Fun Task#10: Staying up to watch the sun rise, and then falling asleep, only to wake up an hour later, sweltering in the oven that is my tent, having to start another day.