Nov 30, 2007

G'Bye NaBloPoMo, Sorry I Didn't Treat You Better.

Well, I thought I was gonna rock this thing, but near the end, I just didn't have the time. What can I say? I work til midnight, and I have a life. But, I did post twice on a couple of days this month, so that should count for the two days I missed. Right? :)

It's been quite a month. We won the Grey Cup, Knuckle Toes became legal to drink with us, the Palinode finally got his back surgery, I started seeing Micha Barton every time I went drinking, the cold, blustery prairie winter arrived for it's annual visit, and I was lucky enough to see one of my most favorite bands, Modest Mouse. There were also many days this month, where my annual winter depression kicked my ass. I felt lonely, missed my dad, and started to feel as if life was just passing by much to quickly for my liking. Ah, the joys of seasonal depression.

With December upon us, I feel like if I can just keep myself on the right track and go with the flow throughout the roller coaster ride that is Xmas and New Year's, spring will be here lickedy split, and all will be well in my universe.

December is beginning with B-Rock's First Annual 29th Birthday Shitfest, and will end with "It's only 25 days 'til Abigail's First Annual 29th Birthday Shitfest" once the clock strikes twelve on New Years Eve.

I hate you December, but I'll make it through, just like I do every year. Of course, the booze helps.

Nov 28, 2007

Needing a Nap.

I blew it. I did not rock this thing. Close, but no cigar. I just couldn't keep up with the NaBloPoMo. Well, I could have, but life got in the way. I sat down to write an entry last night, but the only thing I could come up with was,"Made supper for the whole family. So tired. So full. G'night." Even that was a bit too much for me. I chose to just not blog at all, and hit the hay, since I had to be up early to take my mom to the bus station. I think I made the right decision. Laying in bed next to Smyrish, is always better than staring at this here computer screen.

Yesterday was nice though. Mom had to come in for a doctor's appointment, and was spending the night, so I invited the whole brood, GQ, his Hot Italian Girlfriend, her little guy, Juke Box Hero, Knuckle Toes, and of course Smyrish over for a family supper. We ate and ate and ate, drank many beers, and had a nice visit. It was nice to cook for everyone, instead of our usual "Are we ordering pizza or Chinese?" supper that we usually have when mom comes to town.

I think I'm still full, which could be one reason why I am so darn tired today. If I didn't have to go to work, I think I would just put on my pj's and crawl back into bed and watch trashy television for the next 12 hours.

Nov 26, 2007

5 on the 25.

Just a wee bit late....... :)

1. I hope that when you come back, you don't go back to your old habits. You're better than that.

2. We live in the same city, yet I hadn't seen you in years, until last week. I'm sorry that I didn't have much to say to you.

3. Why doesn't anybody like you? Because you're an asshole, that's why.

4. Your intelligence and the way you look people in the eye when you talk to them, used to intimidate me. Now I know, that you're just a goofy hippie.

5. It seems that you have disappeared off the face of the earth. But, I'm sure one of these days you'll show up at my doorstep, hyper and crazy-eyed, needing a place to stay, so I'm not too worried.

Nov 25, 2007

Grey Cup! Woot!

In one hour, I'll be down at The Pub fighting for a seat, so I can sit and watch the 'Riders kick some 'Bomber ass with my friends. Thus, instead of an entry, I am sharing a forward that I got from six different people this weekend. Enjoy!

Twas The Night Before Grey Cup

Twas the night before Grey Cup, and all through the
Not a creature was stirring, but the gophers back
The players were nestled and snug in their beds,
While visions of Grey Cup Rings danced in their heads.

When out on the field, there arose such a clatter,
Kent sprang from his bed to see what was the matter,
Away to his window, he flew like a flash,
Threw aside the Green Curtains, and Silky White Sash.

And what did he see with his wondering eye?
But a sea of Green Revelers and a furry brown guy.
“That looks like Dominguez, and Flick and Fantuz!”
“Its way after curfew! Do they want us to lose??”

So, out of his room and down to the field,
Coach Austin stormed out with a fury to wield.
As he went through the tunnel, the ground shook with a
From the dancing and prancing of ten thousand feet.

“Hey Coach,” cried a voice, “Whatcha doing down here?”
It was Szarka and Schultz, and they were handing out
Chucky and Chick were grilling up Dogs,
With Burgers being served by O’Day and the Hogs.

Crandall cooked Hot Wings, Joseph grilled steak,
While Cates, Holmes, and Hughes helped Makowsky serve
“This is nuts!” Austin shouted, “It’s one-thirty AM!”
“I expected some revelry, but this is mayhem!”

Eric Tillman tapped Austin, “ You’re not Eagle Keys -”
“But I’m not Berry, or Gotta, or Gregory * so PLEASE!”
“You’re all waddling around here like Wascana geese!”
“And in need of a dance coach like Donald Narcisse.”

“Now, you’ve all had your fun, so back to your rooms.”
But then Austin’s nose picked up the barbecue fumes.
Then Green Is The Color rang out through the air,
As Congi and Boreham played Banjos with flair.

On Davis, on Johnson, on Coach Ritchie Hall,
Even old Alex Smith flashed a smile after all,
On Lloyd, on McCullough, on Hunt and on Perry,
On Kornegay, Frazier, and yes, even Kerry.

The skydome then filled with a soft greenish glow,
And the whole Rider Nation set poised for a show.
An S and a wheat sheaf then formed in the air,
And a smile took the place of Coach Kent Austin’s

Then everyone there, the players, the fans,
They formed a big circle by all holding hands,
Then right in the centre appeared the Grey Cup,
Which Fairholm and Ridway and Elgaard picked up.

They handed it over to Ritchie and Kent,
Who called Kerry and Eddie, and off the Cup went.
It was passed round the field, past heroes to present,
While Gainer dug holes for the Blue Bomber Pheasants.

That music was heard coast to coast people say
And they say Rider Pride grew three sizes that day.
Everyone left there dreaming of Blue Bomber doom.
And they sent all the Banjos to Troy Westwood’s Room.

Nov 24, 2007

Sunshine and Rainbows

Boy did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. The second I opened my eyes I was grouchy, even though I slept in past noon. That usually makes me happy on a wintery Saturday. The moment I woke up, I just thought to myself "Here we go, another Saturday of coffee and house cleaning." I was less than excited about that thought. As far as I know, I am not a 50 year old housewife who has to spend her weekends cleaning up after her bratty kids. But I sure feel as if I act the part some days.

"Brunch will make me feel better"
, I thought to myself. I then realized the oven wasn't working, and couldn't bake up the tater tots I was craving to go with my bacon and tomato sandwiches. The deep fryer, although I hate it, is another way to cook them, but it was out of oil. Brunch, was a bust. My sandwich was yummy, but I was still hungry.

Then I spilled coffee, got salt in my eye, dropped everything I tried to pick up, and stepped on some invisible sharp object in my bedroom. So, I started cleaning and doing laundry to take my mind off my troubles.

It's just been one of those days.

It is now three o'clock, and I'm starting to feel a bit better. I'm going to shower, and I may even get out of the house for a couple hours and do some shopping or something. I can always finish cleaning on Monday morning before my mommy comes to visit.

At least tomorrow is Grey Cup, and I get off work early, so I will be able to join The City in cheering on our Riders, and getting retardedly drunk.


I am Abigail I heart blogging

Nov 23, 2007


Blah. I worked for 13 hours today, so all you get is a video. This song has been in my head all day. I am pretty okay with that though, because yesterday all that was running through my head was that damn circus song.

Happy Friday everyone. I'm going to drink wine, and then go to bed.

Nov 22, 2007


My little brother the Juke Box Hero, aka FilmStar, posted this photo of him and my dad on Facebook today in our family group. It is one of my most favorite family photos in our vast collection.

What is really weird though, is that I actually remember this day. It was so long ago, I feel like I shouldn't be able to remember that many years back. I have trouble remembering what I did last week!

It's the same feeling I get when someone asks how long I've known a friend for and I can honestly say I've known them for over twenty years. It doesn't feel like it should be possible.

Sheesh, I'm not a spring chicken anymore, am I?

Nov 21, 2007

Andy Capp

Hehe. I heart Andy Capp. Really, I do. I've been reading that silly ol' drunken bastard since I was just a wee lassie. I became hooked one summer when we were staying at the cabin, and it had been raining for what felt like a bazillion years. I had already read all my Archie comics, all the National Geographics and all the old classic novels on the shelf that were of interest to me at that young age. As I sifted through the mound of comics once again, I came across Mr. Andy Capp. Of course, I didn't truly understand the jokes and the arguments, but they were silly, and made me think of the adults around me at the time.

These days, I read Andy Capp online, and sadly, I relate a little too much at times. However, he's always good for a chuckle, and today, he helped to motivate me to do some work today, so I won't feel guilty about imbibing in "Import Night" later this evening at my own pub.

Nov 20, 2007

Suspicious Minds

The lovely Schmutzie has tagged moi in a meme, of which I am eternally grateful, as I really didn't know what to write about today. Shit, I hardly even have anything to say today at all.

The Rules:
  • Write a list of things of which you are suspicious. Any number of them will do. Even the number 0 works. This is the first meme that can be done without even doing it. In fact, you're doing it right now.
  • Include the list of rules, if you feel like it.
  • Link back to the person who tagged you. Or not.
  • Tag however many people you want to tag. You can skip this step.
  • If you acted on rule four, leave comments on their websites to let them know that they have been tagged. This step is also completely optional.
  • Feel fantastic.

  • 1. Super pretty girls that I don't know speaking to me in public washrooms. Seriously. When I look good, they don't talk to me, but if I'm all sweaty and drunk, and they look all perfect and put together, they can't wait to be my new best friend. It freaks me out.

    2. Young men who try to get my attention at the bar, specifically when I am dancing. I'm not sure which is creepier, the ones who come up and want to have a conversation, or the ones who just join in and dance with me. You can see that I'm busy shaking my badonkadonk, can't you? I realize that most girls like this sort of thing, but dancing to me is serious business. Come chat me up when I'm smoking and my drink is empty. Once you buy me a drink, I'll tell you all about my wonderful boyfriend.

    3. Salespeople in clothing stores. When I'm wandering about your store aimlessly, it just means that I am browsing. When you come up to me to ask if I need any of your assistance, it gives me the feeling that you think I am a shoplifter, or that you are wondering why someone my size is even bothering to look for clothes in your store.

    4. People who don't like The Beatles. I get thrown off my rocker every time I meet one of these folks. C'mon now, who doesn't uncontrollably bop their head or sing along when a Beatles tune comes on the radio?

    5. Normal people. You know the ones. They live in a beige house in Suburbia, they're happily married, their kids never have battles royale, they have white furniture, and are always dressed and groomed to perfection, even at the gym. These people scare me, and I have to wonder what's wrong with them. Do they have addictions to pain killers? Is their straight 'A' basketball star of a child a fledgling serial killer? Are they axe murderers? Who knows. All I know is, bring on the crazies who talk to themselves and call me names like "Yellow Jap Whore", and tell me they hope I step in "faggot dog shit". At least they're never dull, and I feel like I at least connect with them a wee bit.

    6. Parents who think they can "cure" their handicapped child of their disability. This could be a long one, so I'll leave it at that. If you'd like clarification, please ask.

    7. Computers.

    8. Celebrities that vouch for products, companies, politicians, anything. How much are you being paid to endorse that acne cream or weight loss product? To be clear, just because you use it, doesn't mean I want to or need to. Piss off.

    9. You are inside. You are wearing sunglasses. I have to wonder if you are staring at my breasts, or just sitting there sleeping, and ignoring me completely.

    10. People that seem relatively social when necessary, but appear to have no friends. I am not their friend, the people around me are not their friends, but still they sit there and attempt to socialize with you. Sometimes, it feels that they don't even want to be talking to you, they perhaps feel forced to do so. They never have stories about what they did on the weekend, how work was, they just sit and stare at you and nod along to your stories. These people always have awkward laughs as well, and a smile almost cracks their face. I have only met a couple people like this in my life, and when I think of them, a little chill runs down my spine.

    Tag, You're It!

    Knuckle Toes

    Nutcase 101


    Madame Diva


    Group Photo

    During our photo shoot at Knuckle Toes' birthday party last Friday, I commented that it was a good thing that all of our friends weren't there that night, because we wouldn't all have fit on the stage, or in the picture. We all started naming off the people that were missing, and I calculated in my head just how many folks we hang out with on a regular basis, as well as the friends who we don't get to see as often as we'd like, but do join us on big nights out, or whenever they can.

    There are twenty people in Wench's photo, and I know that there are a couple party-goers that are missing from it. They were probably smoking or urinating at picture time.

    I decided to sit down, and make a list of all the people, mostly pub regulars, that I would invite to something BIG for myself, say a wedding, or my funeral or maybe my big 3-0. If all of those people showed up, and we took a group photo again, there would be 39 people. This does not include anyone from out of town, or people whom I only visit with outside The Pub, or any family members other than my brothers, who are also pub regulars, or any guests that these 39 people may bring along with them to my imaginary party.

    Thirty-nine people. And I could very well be forgetting someone.

    Now, I ask myself, how in the world can I, at least once a week, complain that I am lonely? Seems so silly all of a sudden, doesn't it?

    Nov 19, 2007

    If I had $100,000

    Typical Quirk sent me this link this morning. It is common knowledge that a shitload of money has been blown on Iraq and Afghanistan, but I enjoyed the alternate ways they came up with for the U.S. government to spend a trillion dollars. Now, if only I could get them to give me some. Shit, I don't even want a trillion dollars...I'd be happy with like $100, 000.

    With $100, 000:

    I could pay off the rest of my student loan : $3,500

    I could pay off my car: $17, 000

    I would pay my mom back a smidgen of what I owe her, let's say: $10, 000, which includes debts, and some thrown in for emotional damages.

    Take my immediate family and our significant others to Cozumel for 10 days: $13, 987

    Pay for Smyrish and I to fly to Thailand and back ( 2 month stay): $3, 882

    So far, the total is: $48, 369.

    Which leaves me: $51, 631 to put into savings or something, or just piss around with. I'd have no debts, and would be able to satisfy this travel bug that's been itching me.

    Now, I have just got to figure out a way to get that money from Big Brother, and I'm set!

    Nov 18, 2007

    Weekend Wrap-Up

    It sure is nice to finish off a busy weekend with a little nooky, a big bowl of popcorn in bed, a cup of tea, and a couple hours of trashy shows on MuchMoreMusic.

    Knuckle Toes birthday was a blast on Friday. It was nice to see everyone all dressed up. We drank, we laughed, we drank some more, until we were all tuckered out.

    On Saturday, I got sent home from work, as they were afraid I was contagious, and slept the day away. I dragged my butt out to The Pub that evening anyways, to visit with some friends from Small Town. Plus, I figured if the Palinode could make it out with his walker, I could make it out with a sore tummy. Ended up being a very late night, but was good times all around.

    I was allowed to sleep in this morning, and only work a half-day again, which was heavenly.

    I get the next three days off, for some unknown reason, and have promised myself to get all the things on my to-do list completed, even if it kills me. It's not like I have any money to go out and procrastinate anyways, so I figure it is the perfect opportunity.

    Maybe I'll even come up with something to blog about. Unless of course, my wonderful readers have any ideas??? If so, let me know!

    Nov 17, 2007

    I am Sick. But Don't Pity Me.

    My body is giving out on me. It's telling me that I should stay home and rest, even though I left work early, and slept all afternoon.

    But my brain is telling me that there are out-of-towners at The Pub that came for a visit, and I should get out, if only for a couple hours. I really do want to see them.

    But then, my body says that it is tired, and threatens to make me vomit in public.

    And the immature side of me says, "Ah, fuck it, I can handle it."

    So, I get dressed, eat a sandwich, and just pray that I don't crap myself while in public.

    Watch out world, I'm bringing you germs!

    Nov 15, 2007

    Thinking of the Palinode and Das Schmutz

    Not much to say today. Can't think of much else except The Palinode's back surgery. Here's hoping all goes well, and he's back in tip-top shape and upright again in two shakes of a lambs tail.

    Nov 14, 2007

    At Least the Hospital Has a Robin's Donuts.

    Ever since I shattered my leg a few Valentine's Day's back, I have found myself spending quite a bit of time at the hospital down the street. I had never even really been that sick before that, never mind in need of a surgeon or specialist, and really didn't have any complaints about our health care system. Other than a few days wasted sitting in the medi-clinic just to be told to get some sleep and take amoxicillon, I didn't have anything to complain about.

    Then, I broke my leg. Something that happens all the time to people, nothing out of the ordinary. I was rushed to the hospital via ambulance. It was the EMT's first day, and he was nervous, and couldn't get the IV in to shoot me up with morphine. All I could think was, "Fuck, just let me do it", and cry a little. I kept myself occupied by telling my co-worker Steve, who was in the ambulance with me, how to get ahold of my brothers to meet me at the hospital.

    I broke my leg good. I never saw it, but Steve and GQ told me that it looked like it had been put on backwards. While they nurses straightened it out to get a splint put on, three or four of my boys had to hold me down on the bed.

    They finally got me settled in a room in the orthopaedic ward. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even lift myself to pee in the bedpan without screaming. Luckily, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink before my surgery, so I didn't have to pee all that often.

    I thought I'd be in to surgery right away. The surgeon had come to my bedside within an hour or so, and got all my info, and told me what bionics would have to be put in. Boy was I wrong. I was in a morphine haze, so I am unsure of exactly how long I had to wait to get taken to surgery, but it was definitely not right away.

    On my second night in the hospital, I was woken by a nurse at 3am, and told I was being moved to a new room, because there had been a car accident, and someone else needed my room more than me. I muttered something or other to her, and fell back asleep.

    The next morning, I woke up, and looked at my surroundings. I was in the storage room. Surrounded by extra scrubs and wheelchairs, and other such hospital equipment. A janitor walked in, and was startled by my presence. He asked if I had been attended to, or if I had eaten. I told him nobody had come to see me, and that I didn't even know what floor I was on. He went and found a very sweet Jamaican care aide, and she checked in on me every few minutes for the rest of my stay. She said there was no record of me being moved, and told me I was lucky he came to find her, otherwise I probably would have been lost forever. She went and got me some food and water. When I left that hospital a few days later, I vowed never to come back. I hated that place with all my heart.

    Last year, with the insistence of Mr. Head, I finally went to see my specialist again. The pins in my ankle, and the screws in my shin were killing me, and I wanted them out. He got me in relatively quick, ( a few weeks wait), and it was just going to be a day surgery. I handled it as well as I can handle anything medical, which is not that well, but I was happy that this whole thing would be behind me. I was lucky to have someone to help me get better, and make me take my meds, and in a few weeks, I was as good as new.

    Except for the fact that my surgeon FORGOT to take out the top screw of the plate. If it wasn't for the X-Ray tech, I never would have even known it was there. I could feel something, but I figured I was just healing, and never thought much of it. When I questioned Mr. Specialist about this, he said that he didn't feel like it was necessary to open my leg up that high to take it out, which was bullshit, because I have a scar to prove that he did have it opened up in that spot......but I digress. My family doctor told me that I am just going to have to live with it, because unless it started to abscess or make me less ambulatory in some way, they were not ever going to take it out.

    I got over it. My leg is feeling good. Other than some swelling when it's really hot out, and an out-of-place hip from overcompensating for too long on one leg, I don't really have any problems.

    I was lucky. I got most of what I was supposed to get, when it came to "free" health care. I realized this today, when I found out that the Palinode, who has been in pain for a year, didn't get his scheduled surgery yesterday, heard that Wench is still waiting to even see an orthopaedic surgeon about her crappy knees, and when I thought of the hundreds of hours I have spent sitting with sick friends and family in the emergency room to get almost no help at all.......well, maybe I don't feel lucky. It just pisses me off.

    Nov 13, 2007

    First Big Storm

    You know you're from Saskatchewan when you leave the house in capri pants, ballet flats, and a sweater, and a few hours later, you're wishing you had a parka and boots on.

    Thank goodness for my Safeway Club card. If it wasn't for that, I never would have been able to scrape all the ice and snow off my car windows when it was time to drive home after work.

    Nov 12, 2007

    Why do I adore Smyrish, you ask?........

    Well, among other things, he has a sweet, sweet ass, he's energetic and smart and goofy, plays Scrabble with me, makes coffee in the morning when he is awake before I am, and puts lotion on my back when I am itchy.

    Today, I adore him even more, because after a really craptastic day at work, I came home and shuffled into a ...... clean bedroom. I don't know where all the crap went that was there beside the bed, and I don't even care.

    I'm totally going to make out with him when he gets home.

    Nov 11, 2007

    Celeb Sighting

    Not only was Micha Barton wearing the most hideous pants I've ever seen, but because of her, The Pub was as packed as it has ever been. I couldn't even get out to get air near the end of the night, for fear that I wouldn't be able to get back in.

    Her leopard print pants made me laugh, right at her, and then a few minutes later, I saw her outside having a smoke, and realized who it was. I got scared for a minute. I don't think I've ever really gotten over you popping out from under that bed in The Sixth Sense.

    Sorry Micha, I shouldn't have laughed at you, that wasn't nice. But seriously, did you just see the hookers in the neighborhood, and think "Oh, so this is how prairie people dress!". Maybe you were just trying to fit in.

    If it makes you feel any better, I made fun of Judd Nelson too, when he was in town.

    Anyways, hope you are enjoying our little city. Now, go back to Hollywood and tell them how awesome we are.

    Nov 10, 2007

    Just a Thought

    I went shopping today to find a winter coat, and something snazzy to wear to the bar tonight. I couldn't find a coat I liked, so I ended up getting a 4 dollar dress that will be appropriate come July, and a sweater. So, no coat, and no sexy winter outfit.

    I sat around for a few minutes, feeling pissy because I didn't have anything eye-catching, that fit me, to wear. Having nothing sexy to dance in, made me feel like a big piece of poop. Those change room mirrors pushed my self-esteem down about 10 notches today.

    Then I realized, I didn't really feel like dancing tonight anyways, and I have a boyfriend, so there is no need to get all whored up anymore to go out on the town. I can just be comfortable. Not that I don't like showing off the girls once in a while. ;)

    So, I'm going to wear my new sweater. And if I end up dancing, I'll just have to deal with the over-heating that will no doubt happen.

    At least I'm getting out of the house, for something other than to go to work!

    Nov 9, 2007

    (Drunk) Hopeless Romantic, Continued.

    Okay, so I watched Reality Bites, instead of Breakfast at Tiffany's. But it was on the TV, and I don't know how to hook up my DVD player. The boy was going to, before he went out, but then he didn't go, and it didn't get done.

    It was like the TV knew that I needed to watch that movie tonight, that I needed my Generation-X-I-wish-I-had- a-Troy-Dire, fix. That movie is like a drug to me.

    It was a good night. Two hour candle-lit bath, with wine and cigarette, followed by a quick supper with Smyrish,followed by Reality Bites, followed by a few minutes of Taxi Driver, followed by me almost winning a million bucks on Don't Forget The Lyrics, if only the contestant had some balls to sing the last song.

    And here I am. I got called into work for tomorrow morning (my day off!), I'm half-cut and I haven't left my bed, and still, all I can think about is how lucky those ladies in the old movies are.

    I should go to bed, but I don't want to sleep, yet.

    (Most romantic song ever.)

    Hopeless Romantic

    I don't know how many times in my life I have been told that I watch too many old movies, when the conversation turns to relationships and romance. Probably a thousand. Funny how it is always a male friend who makes that comment.

    I was told that the other day as well, whilst sitting at The Pub with friends, when I piped up and said there was nothing wrong with someone expecting romance and passion and drama in their love life. It didn't make them illogical, or flaky, that's the way it should be, or so I think.

    I sometimes wonder though, if maybe, as people get older, and want to settle down, they maybe don't think of those things. Maybe passion and drama and big, big love get pushed to the side. They want to find someone they can tolerate, and who can tolerate them. You need to decide if you want kids, and how you will raise them together. There are bills to pay, and mouths to feed, and Grey's Anatomy is on at 8pm.

    True romance is hard. It means there are going to be bumps in the road, arguments and tears, but you crawl over those bumps, because you know that kisses and hugs and adventure and laughter and hot make-up sex, are on the other side.

    And on that note, I think I'm going to pour a glass of wine, light some candles, and have a bath, followed by a night of watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and Dirty Dancing. Because sometimes, you've had a long day, and you just need to romance yourself. ;)

    Nov 8, 2007

    Weather and Weight

    The second skiff of snow hit last night, and it's still here. It does look nice outside though. The sun is shining, and I have my bedroom window open, and it smells like melting.

    I feel like I should be out doing something. Get some fresh air. But, I have cramps, and I have a bunch of sewing to finish before I go to work, and I know that I'll get to go for a walk once I get to the group home.

    I want to live in my yoga pants. Which this week, is working out for me, because I've really had nothing to do, and I have to exercise at work every night, and yoga pants fit into that nicely.

    I mostly want to live in my yoga pants though, because my jeans aren't fitting. I have lost 5 pounds though, which on me, doesn't count for shit, but it's a start. I have 6 pairs of jeans that are basically brand new. I don't want to spend more money on new jeans, I want to fit into the old ones.

    The one thing that isn't driving me crazy at work, is the fact that I am getting paid to be active and exercise each time I go in. Myself, and a few of my new employees made a pact to get in shape, and be healthy. We're going to help each other lose weight, and feel better. Each of us, wants to lose at least 20 pounds. Each of us, wants to feel better about herself.

    It's nice to know I'm not the only one. It's nice to not be the only one at work that is overweight as well. It's nice to know, that I will have three girls helping to motivate me not to turn into a lazy slob.

    But this week, it's been hard to do anything when I'm not at work. Smyrish and I went for a very nice walk the other day, and I'm sure the two hours of dancing at Modest Mouse counted for something, but other than that, I haven't been up to much, unless someone is paying me.

    At least I feel like doing something though, because last week, I only felt like sleeping.

    Nov 7, 2007

    Random Concert Thoughts

    1. My body is older than my brain.

    2. I pushed and shoved and moshed my way to the front, which proved to me that I still have it.

    3. At one point, I thought I was going to die, because I couldn't breathe, there was so much pressure on my chest.

    4. All I could think of was, "Dammit, so this is how I'm going to go. Wedged between two drunk, smelly frat boys."

    5. I am stronger than I thought, because I just held on to the bar, and pushed back with my entire body, and knocked the smelly drunk boys backwards.

    6. I then danced my way to the side of the crowd.

    7. I stayed there, amongst the hippies and art stars, and danced until my legs burned.

    8. It was awesome.

    9. I'd show you pictures, but I got searched at the door, and my camera confiscated.

    10. I must have been the only one, because everyone else had their cameras. Maybe one of them can give me some photos to share.

    11. Thankfully, I knew a lot of people around me, because I lost the people that I went with early on.

    12. Overall, it was a great concert.

    13. The sound was shit, but they played some of my favorite songs.

    14. I would have been happy if they had played another hour of music, even though they had already played for about two.

    15. Today, it's back to reality. Have to go to work in a couple hours, and make some phone calls and clean the bathroom before I go.

    16. I bet Modest Mouse doesn't have to clean their bathroom today.

    Nov 6, 2007


    I was quite disappointed last Friday, when I arrived home from The Pub, pumped to get ready to go and see Serena Ryder with Saviabella, and was told that it had been cancelled. Cancelled! That is the second time I have missed seeing her when she was in town.

    But tonight, in 3 hours to be exact, I'll be rockin' and bopping about to Modest Mouse. The last time they were in town, was when I was in Scotland, and I thought I had missed my chance of seeing them altogether.

    It's nice to feel excited about something!

    Nov 5, 2007

    Daddy Dearest

    I've been thinking about my dad quite a bit lately. More than usual, which is a lot, because he enters my thoughts every single day. Everyday, something catches my eye, or my ear, and makes me think of him. The last few weeks, it has been just more obvious to me.

    I was watching "All in the Family" the other day, the episode where Gloria finds out that she is pregnant, and Meat Head freaks out and runs away. She's sitting there in the middle of the night, talking to Edith, when Archie comes down, and tells Edith to beat it. He makes Gloria get out of 'his chair', so he can sit and talk to her. (Soooo, like my dad.) He tells her the story of the day she was born, again, and in his own awkward way, makes her feel like everything will be okay. My dad used to call me on my birthday, every year, and tell me the story of the day I was born. I would roll my eyes, and sigh, and say " Not again!", but I would listen, and by the end of it, my eyes would be full of tears. We would tell each other "I love you", and he'd either hang up abruptly, or quickly pass the phone to my mom.

    It hit me, that I don't get one of those moments. My dad will never see my kids, if I ever have any. He may not always have been the best dad, but I bet he would have been one hell of a grandpa.

    After that, it seemed that my days became flooded with reminders.

    I saw a documentary about the Galapagos Islands, and remembered the time he told me that when he was a little boy, he read about them, and ever since, he wanted to go there.

    Listening to Smyrish talk about his dumpster finds, always reminds me of the crap that my dad would proudly bring home after a day of "shopping" at the dump.

    Whenever I play Scrabble, I think about my mom and dad when they were young. My mom once told me the story of how they were playing Scrabble and drinking tea, and realized they were out of smokes. My dad had remembered dropping some under the house, and crawled down there to get them. It may sound strange, as I see that as quite romantic.

    When I see GQ, his hot Italian girlfriend and her little guy together, I just wish that Dad could see how far GQ has come in the past couple years. He's no longer an Eeyore, he's a man, and a dad himself. He reminds me so much of Bob, in some good ways and some bad.

    Every time I think of running away, which I do a lot this time of year, I remember the conversation we had before I left for Scotland. He told me, that I was the most like him, and I inherited some traits that he wished I hadn't, but he was happy that I inherited his fearlessness. He told me to never settle for " it'll do", and to always seek adventure in life, even if I knew I might fuck up.

    The older I get, the more my memories of him change. All of the not-so-good memories are pushed to the back burner, and all the good moments become clearer. Which is just the way I want it to be.

    Nov 4, 2007

    The Lost Journals of Abigail Road

    I used to have a book full of poems, random thoughts, songs I had written, quotes I liked, etc. I have been looking for this book for a few months now, ever since Das Piper moved back, and started encouraging me to write songs again.

    There is some good material in that book, wherever it is. I'm sure there is some angsty teenage bullshit in it as well, but even that, I would like to read again.

    I started writing in it in 1997. My Auntie Kathy bought the journal for me, when I was staying with her and her family in Winnipeg, on my way back from Halifax. It had been my first big adventure on my own, and I had alot to say. As soon as we got back to her house, I went to my room, and started writing.

    A few months later, I ran away to Vancouver, and I had even more to write about then.

    I forgot about the book, until I had a big dose of heartache thrown my way a few years later, and I took it to Montreal with me.

    I wrote a lot of good one-liners in it, in my twenty-fifth year, when I was having the worst year of my life, and wanted to just end it all.

    I vaguely remember having it in my possession when I moved to the House of Pain, but apparently had no use for it, and now, it is missing in action.

    I am sure, that it is hiding around here, somewhere. But where? It kind of bothers me to think that it is just out there, alone, without my watchful eye upon it. I am very protective of my journals and the like, and hate the thought of someone finding it, and sitting down to read it.

    I have been thinking about this journal for months. But last night, around 3am, it really started to bother me. The more I thought of it, the more of its content came back to me. It felt good to remember some of those poems.

    I remembered what I had written on the second last page of the book. A list of adjectives, describing what I thought of myself, in 1997. It flashed like a photograph in my mind.


    And it goes on and on. I wish I could remember more of the list. I wish I knew if anything should be added or removed from the list.

    I've got to find that journal.

    Nov 3, 2007

    Musicology Meme

    I "borrowed" this meme from Madame Diva, because I find it incredibly hard not to put my two cents in about anything related to music, and answering some questions on the subject is right up my alley.

    The Questions:

    What is the first music album you remember owning? If not the same, what is the first music album you purchased for yourself?

    There was so much music in my house, I don't really remember the first album that was actually mine. However, I can remember having to make the gruelling decision as to either purchase DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince's first album, or Guns 'n' Roses, Appetite for Destruction. My mom gave me the money to pick out one cassette. I think that in the end I chose Guns 'n' Roses, but made sure to get the other soon after. Or maybe it was the other way around. Hey people, it was 20 years ago, and I don't have much of a memory.

    What artist currently occupies the most space either in terms of shelf space or megabytes on your hard drive?

    In terms of shelf space, it's a tie between Beck, and The Tragically Hip. Hard drive? That's hard to say. At the moment, it's probably a 3-way tie between Serena Ryder, Cat Power and AC/DC.

    How many different types of music media (vinyl, cassette, CD, etc) have you owned in your lifetime?

    All of them. I have 8-tracks, cassettes, LP's, 45's and compact discs.

    Who or what has had the biggest effect on your music taste?

    Growing up with no FM radio or MuchMusic/MTV, I basically had to go out and experiment with what I purchased. I'd usually pick whatever seemed "alternative" in the Columbia House Record and Tape catalogue. Friends suggestions were always given a listen. Mom and Dad's record collection has always had a big influence, as with the Oldies station that doesn't exist anymore, that we had to listen to as we drove around as teenagers.

    How do you currently prefer to listen to music?

    Ummmm...on a stereo? My car stereo definitely rocks the casbah.

    In terms of music memorabilia, what is your most prized possession?

    I like to keep all my concert T-shirts, whether I wear them or not, as well as my concert tickets.

    Have you ever "swapped headsets" with a complete stranger (meaning have you ever unplugged the earphones from your listening device and plugged them into someone else's player and had them do the same)? If yes, what did they play for you?

    This usually happens while travelling, on the train/bus or in a hostel. The only person that sticks out in my mind, is a hippie named James, who I met on a train on the way back from Halifax. He got me into The Grateful Dead and The Roots, and I got him into Blind Melon and Morrissey.

    Have you ever been completely obsessed with a particular artist? Who and to what level did your fandom go?

    Not yet, but if Morrissey ever comes near here, I'll do anything to see him. Anything.

    What is the farthest you've ever traveled for a concert?

    When I lived in SmallTown, five hours. Living here in The City, no more than 2-3 hours.

    Who have you seen in concert the most?

    Hmmmm. The Hip, 4 times. Sam Roberts Band, 4 times. Hawksley Workman, 4 or 5. I think Hawksley wins it.

    Nov 2, 2007

    'Tis the Season?

    Blah. Blech. Meh.

    That's how I've been feeling lately. I have this horrible feeling that my December blues have hit early this year. For what reason, I don't have a clue. Nothing is really wrong, nothing out of the ordinary that doesn't bug me regularily, anyways. It takes alot to get myself excited about things that normally would have me bouncing off the walls, such as Halloween, upcoming concerts, and the like. I've been utterly exhausted all the live long day for over a week now, even though I have been getting more sleep that usual. I feel like crying, out of the blue, for no reason, about 10 times a day, but I've been holding back, and holding it in. I am bored outta my tree, but don't feel like actually doing anything to change that, and really don't have anything particular in mind of what I would like to do to spice life up a bit.

    I have a few moments in my day, where I do feel quite content, like right now, and I pray that they'll stick around for more than an hour, but they usually don't.

    Then again, maybe I'm just worn down. Maybe it's not the winter blues.

    Maybe I'm just catching a cold.

    Whatever it is, I hope it just runs its course, and gets the fuck outta here.

    Nov 1, 2007

    Civil War

    You know Axl, it's really too bad you went completely nutters, because there was a time, when you were one hell of a songwriter. Seriously people, just listen to these lyrics. They are gold, solid heart-wrenching gold.