Put a Spring in Your Step!

I don't want to jinx anything, but today sure felt like spring. Wouldn't it be beautiful if winter were over? But of course, this is Canada, and you never quite know what weather system is right around the corner, so I guess we should just enjoy the beauty of this day, while it lasts!

I came to the conclusion today that I am 99% sure that the majority of my depression stems from bad weather, cloudy skies, harsh winds and the like. I was actually happy to walk to work this afternoon, and this evening when I got off early, and only had enough cab money to get half way home, it didn't put a damper on my mood at all. I actually think I FROLICKED the rest of the way home, cigarette and coffee in hand! It must be the weather that's put me in a better mood, because life hasn't thrown any lucky breaks or romance my way yet. (not that life has been horrible either).

I've been thinking alot lately about where I'm going and what I'm doing with my life, and normally that would depress the hell out of me. But I think that I am quite content with myself and my surroundings at the moment. I love my city, my roomates are super cool, I don't have alot of expenses at the moment such as bills, and soon enough, I'm even going to have a car, so I can hit the road whenever the urge hits me. I haven't had to do my coat up or wear a toque for 2 days, the house is stocked with coffee, Palinode told me I had a perfect nose, and work is good. It really is the little things that make life worth living. I have no freaking idea where all this optimism has come from, but I'm going to enjoy it, and annoy others with it, while it lasts. Soon enough I'm sure, I'll be complaining about being broke, not owning anything that could be used for collateral for a loan, being ugly, and eternally single. I suppose I should be thinking of the future now, and what it holds for me, but I really don't have any goals for myself, and I don't have a clue what I want to do anyways , other than: 1) I'd like to own a house and car one day because I'm sick of renting and bumming rides off of my friends and 2) I still have to go to Africa and New Zealand before I'm too old and boring. Any other travelling, schooling, etc., can be done anytime before I die.

I've had an interesting week so far. It all started on Sunday, when GQ and the gang dragged me out to The Pub staff party. I thought at the time that I was all partied out, but of course, after a couple cheap pints, I was ready to rip again. Danced a couple jigs, won a tiara. Watched Astro-Boy and the rest of the pub gang do kareoke, and had a good laugh. Joined in a game of "who can stick the barbie doll in the hole" (don't ask) and got to keep my dollar store Barbie. I eventually convinced myself and V-man, that it was time to go home, and fell asleep on my face the second I hit my pillow. Never a dull moment at The Pub I tells ya.

I've been sent home early from work 2 nights in a row, and usually that just means, I get home early and play an incessant amount of Scrabble online, and go to bed way past my bedtime. But on Monday night, B-Rock was nice enough to come and pick me up from work, and we went out for coffee, a late night snack and some good conversation, before coming back to the House of Pain to smoke and watch cheesy late night cable with the roomate and her boyfriend till the wee hours. The perfect lazy evening!

Tonight, I decided to stay home, as I have to work a double shift tomorrow, but it's hump day tomorrow, so there is quite a bit of time left for more good times and late nights!

If you aren't feeling as perky or optimistic as I am today, check out "The Playground" in Seussville
and it'll help put a smile on your face, and even help you kill some time, if you're bored!

Happy Sunday To You

I love Sundays! (the day of the week, not the ice cream treat) Especially Sundays like today, when the sun is shining, the wind is barely noticable, and all the snow on the streets and sidewalks turned to that brown sugar - like mush. I feel like I should be outside enjoying all this natural goodness, but unfortunatly, I have forced my procrastinating self into getting all the things done that I couldn't do while dog-sitting at Red's place this month. (laundry, house-cleaning, all the fun stuff). However, I did go for a brisk walk this morning to buy smokes and bread, and it took all my might to get myself back inside the house. Luckily it's early enough in the day, that I can get out again, if I get my ass in gear.

Sunday has always been my favorite day of the week, but now, since I don't have to work on Sundays, it's even better. Most people would choose Friday or Saturday, and even some love hump day Wednesday, but Sunday will forever be mine. It's the day of rest, and although I'm not religious, I like this little rule handed down by God. Sundays are good for sleeping in, re-engergizing from the past 2 nights of debauchery, going for an over-priced brunch, inviting friends over for coffee and board games, and when the weather is warm, it's the perfect day of the week for a BBQ and beers on a deck.

How can any other day of the week compete???

Lucien Carr Dies, Age 79

As I have mentioned before, I am a big fan of the Beat Generation writers. B-Rock introduced me to them in highschool, and at the time, their stories made me horribly jealous, and intrigued. I wanted to do what they did, get into the trouble and have the adventures that I read about in their books. And in some instances in life, as I got older, I ended up experiencing some similar hijinx, such as my time in Paris. But today, I want everyone to pay tribute to the man who introduced this gang of misfits. Lucien Carr, who introduced Burroughs, Kerouac and Ginsburg, passed away yesterday at the age of 79. We'll never know for sure, but it is possible that this group in pop culture never would have been what they were, had he not brought them together.

Lucien Carr Info on the Beat Page

First Aid supplies are needed at the House of Pain!

I got home from my graveyard shift at 9:30am, watched a couple episodes of Dawson's Creek with V-Man, and I thought I would have a quick game of Scrabble, and go to bed. But as usual, something had to distract me from a good afternoon's sleep.

Have you ever had one of those moments, where you said to yourself "Shit, I'm tougher than I thought I was?", and were also thrilled with your ability to contain the curse words that were running through your head to a quiet whisper? I just had one of those moments. I was sitting here, minding my own business, losing horribly at a game of Scrabble, when I realized there was some foreign object stuck to the bottom of my foot. No big deal right? Probably just a crumb, or a chunk of cat food, right????? Well my friends, I freaking wish. Due to my mind being on my game, I instinctively, wiped the bottom of my bare foot, onto the top of my other bare foot, and soon realized...IT HAD BEEN A PIECE OF GLASS. So to make a long, gruesome story short, I had to pull the piece of glass out from the corner of my big toenail, which was blocking the blood from flowing, so I hopped all over the house, trying not to wake the roomate and her boyfriend, while bleeding profusly all over the floor, searching in vain for a band-aid or something or other. I eventually found myself a nice flourescent blue band-aid, and cleaned up my mess, but now I can't fall asleep, due to the adrenaline rush of almost losing my toe caused me. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit about losing my toe, but damn it's gross. Thankfully it's not quite sandal season yet!

I guess the question of the day is, where did the glass come from? I think I know. I vaguely recall an impromtu sock hop in our living room a few weeks ago, when someone, can't remember who, broke their glass, and Hobbsley danced right on into it and cut the shit out of his feet. But I swear me and the roomate cleaned it up! Could we have missed that one little bugger piece of a pint glass? We must have. And lucky me, I found it. So until I get that all the floors, swept, mopped and vacuumed, I don't think I'll be getting any sleep. Plus, I'm going to wear shoes for the rest of the day, to try to avoid any other stray fragments.

I guess it really doesn't matter if I don't sleep this afternoon anyway. I don't have to go back to work until tomorrow night. It's Friday today, but I have no plans to go out on the town, and I don't think there is anything interesting going on tonight with my friends. My plan before this horrific tragedy, was to sleep for a few hours, go to the liquor store, and get supplies to make Kahlua. But I guess we'll see where the road takes me, and go back to the original plan of yesterday, which was to make no plans, and get some rest and relaxation for the first time in my life. And possibly clean my room and do some laundry.

Well, since I am obviously babbling, most likely due to lack of sleep, I should sign off here. I hope that all of you who do have plans for this wonderful Friday evening, enjoy yourselves, and I'll keep you posted on what I made my mind up on to do, if it ends up being something worth mentioning.

Getting stoned and laying off the booze, doesn't give me a hangover

Well, against my better judgment, I happened to go out to the Pub to check on everyone around 11pm. I was SO freaking tired, but once I got out there, and saw that everyone was in a rather good mood, and giddy as hell, I got a burst of energy, and quite enjoyed myself. I haven't really had that much fun at the Pub in a long time, so I have been mostly avoiding it all together with the exception of Trivia night. I think the reason I had such a darn good time last night was the people I ran into that I don't get to see all that often, like Sandra Dee. It's always nice to have a quick catch-up over a pint and/or some hoots in the alley. Sitting and talking hockey/work woes/spousal problems, did not enter the conversation last evening, (other than a friend informing me that GQ and Red were no more) and I must say it was nice to see that everyone had a lot more to talk about! It's a sign of spring I think. Conversations get better, and the crazies start to appear.....that's spring, nevermind the robin's or that groundhog who doesn't know his shadow from his asshole.

When the Pub closed down and I said my good-byes until next time, B-Rock and I came back here to chit- chat and share a six-pack. I ended up staying up until about 4am, B-Rock was sleeping on the couch, singing to my music and trying my darndest to polish off the last beer. B-Rock is still on the couch, and looking quite comfortable, and I don't want to wake him. However, I have this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, that his girlfriend is probably looking for him, and she probably wouldn't be too happy to hear he spent the night here with me, on the couch or not. I'll give him until 1pm, I guess, and if he's not awake, I'll wake him.

Don't you just hate having to wake people up? For most of my life, I lived in a dark cave. You see, the bedroom my dad built me at my parents place had no window, which I loved, since I'm such an avid sleeper. But then there were the nights when you had friends stay over, and if they stayed in my room, they would end up sleeping all the live long day. Around 3pm, my mother would tell me to go an tell them it wasn't actually dark outside, and to wake up and have some lunch.....I hated that. I would sit there and just pray that they would get up on their own, and I wouldn't have to do such a horribly embarrassing task. Why I thought it was so embarrassing, I don't know, but even as an adult, I carry that little peeve with me.

Anyways, an interesting conversation arose with B-Rock and I while vegging out on the couch. We started talking about sex, one night stands, etc, and then I think we both realized we probably shouldn't me talking about that with one another. But then a question came along that still has me stumped. We tried to figure out how many people we've KISSED in our lifetime. I told B-Rock that I had kissed the Unknown Poet and Sandra Dee numerous times that evening, so we had to lay ground-rules. Had to be a make-out kiss, full of tongues and whatnot. I still cannot come up with a definite number, but I think that I am a KISS-WHORE. I will kiss almost anybody. Should I be ashamed? So I challenge you to do this as well. Forget about sex, and find out what number of kisses you've accumulated. Man, that's alot of saliva.

Well, it's a beautiful day and I have to go to work in a couple hours. Guess I should wake up my buddy on the couch, and do something with the last couple hours of freedom that I have.

P.S. I have been, and will continue to be making changes and additions to my cast of characters, if you are interested.

Rants and Raves of the Day

After spending my evening watching non-stop CBC action, I feel like I need to rant a bit about some issues that were brought up tonight on various shows and documentaries. (I've already had a couple good cries tonight over the state of the planet, so why not let out some frustration, I figure.) Now some are more important than others, and this is all my own opinion, and who knows, I just may have my head up my ass on some things, or cross a line somewhere, ( that wouldn't be a surprise to me ), but please bear with me ( or not, whatever floats your boat ), because I think I just might make a good point here and there.

First. This gay marriage "issue" should not be an issue at all. Stephen Harper is all up in arms about this not getting put to a national vote, and thinks that if it did, that it would never be legalized. Well, Mr. Harper, you are probably right. There are alot of close-minded, prejudiced people out there, and they can't handle the thought of 2 men boning each other. ( Mind you, most of them are all for some good ol' girl-on-girl action, if you ask them). This is NOT about sex. It's about living in a so-called progressive, democratic country, where everyone deserves the same rights and freedoms as everyone else. I think that people who happen to be gay, should have the right to get married just like the rest of us. They should have the option of spending a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding, moving to the 'burbs, having children, and in the end, joining 50% of the hetersexual couples, and go through a long, drawn out, messy divorce. Really, it's only fair.

Second. Now don't get me wrong. I realize how devastating the earthquake/tsunami was, and how hard it will be to rebuild. It was the worst natural disaster we have ever had. What I have issue with is....How in the hell did the world raise that amount of money? If we could have raised money like that for the people of Africa, and other regions, who have been suffering from an AIDS pandemic for years, maybe we would be a bit further ahead in educating, and healing these people. Where were the benefit concerts for the people of Rwanda, Romania, Yugoslavia, Bosnia, etc.? I think I missed them. Not to say that there aren't civilians, doctors, churches, volunteers, celebrities, and the like doing their best to help people in these countries, but not since Bob Geldof's BandAid or the Beastie Boys Tibeten Freedom concert, have I seen so much advertising for a cause on Much Music or MTV. And Bob, the Beasties and Bono had to bring the issue up on their own. When will the problems in our world be seen for what they actually are, and dealt with? When will they be more than just a reason to have a benefit concert and put out a compilation album of Top 40 artists???

Third. Smoking in enclosed public places will be illegal everywhere in the world in a few years. It's bad for you. It's bad for people around you. Yes, the government should just make it illegal if you can't do it in public. Yes, smokers have rights too. But it's just the way the world is going, so shut up about it. I probably smoke more than you, and I have no problem with it. "Live in the now", as Wayne and Garth would say.

Fourth. Iraq. I could go on and talk about why they shouldn't have gone there in the first place, and how GW has made a horrible, irreversable mistake. But we've all heard enough about that. You must admit though, it was a good idea in theory, to force Iraq into democracy. But now, they are on the verge of their first democratic election, where everyone has the right to vote, and nobody wants to. They are terrified of going to the polling stations and practicing their democratic right. I wait in curiousity and fear, to see what happens in that country in the coming weeks. It's not going to be good.

Fifth. "The Passionate Eye" aired a documentary called "Indecently Exposed" tonight. They followed 22 people to a workshop with the infamous "blue eyes/brown eyes" anti-racism advocate Jane Elliot. I do not deny racism in Canada, let alone Saskatchewan, where they conducted the experiment. I have been prejudiced in my life-time just like everyone else, sometimes not even realizing that I was. And tonight, watching this doc, which didn't surprise me at all in it's content, did strike a cord after listening to my old friend Wilson, (who was in the doc as a blue eye), talk about how he dealt with racist remarks at work and growing up, and I realized, that if he could feel embarrased about his inaction, and want to change the way he deals with racism, everyone can. He's from a small town just like most of Saskatchewanians, where racism is the most prevalent, and it's hard to stand up and say 'shut up' sometimes. Especially to your friends. So if you get a chance, try and catch it on NewsWorld in repeats this week....so you'll know what I'm talking about. I did have one issue with the film though, and it's because of where I grew up. Small Town is pretty equal in the population of whites and aboriginals, due to having 3 reserves not far from town. Growing up, I never really noticed any racism coming from people my age, unless it came from their parents or other adults first. I myself never uttered a racial slur, thanks to my father, who would have smacked me upside the head if I did. I dated aboriginal boys, which was never an issue. My family and friends all had native friends. Because when you grow up in a small town, you can't really discriminate, otherwise you could run the risk of having no friends at all. And I learned in this documentary that me saying that makes me a racist. Dammit, I thought I was an OK person. I have so many things to say about aboriginals in Saskatchewan, some theories, some worries, and comments on some opportunities that I am jealous of that are available to them, that aren't available to me. But I don't want to run the risk of making anyone upset or angry, or having some racist whitey taking what I say to another level for what it's not intentioned. It's not my job to start controversy, even though sometimes it seems like it would be fun. But unfortunatly,(well thankfully) I don't know how someone completely dis-advantaged feels, because I am only a white, Ukranian/Czech/English/Irish gal that hasn't had it so bad.

Tell me what you think.

Dr. Phil would have an aneurysm if he had to deal with us!

I'm such a wimp. I feel like absolute crap today, so I called in sick for work. I always feel bad about not going to work, mostly due to the kind of job I have. You can miss so much in one day. Also, my co-workers are all amazing, and if someone comes to work sick, tired etc, they always take that into account. I've definatly felt worse than I do today and gone to work, but I feel burned out as well as sick, and I figured, "Hey, I haven't taken a sick day in like 2 years, so why not rest up and feel better tomorrow?", and it makes sense but I still feel bad. But the girl who is working for me tonight said she really needs the hours and the money, so I guess I made someone's day, which makes me feel a whole lot better about this skipping work issue.

But to brighten my day, I was happy to check the mail (and my email) to see that some happy birthday wishes have come my way over the weekend. I don't think it matters how old you get, getting that card in the mail stuffed with money, lottery tickets or a letter is always exciting! I was especially happy to get a letter from AJ. She really does write the best letters, and I never get to see her as much as I want, so at least I always know that around my b-day, I'm getting a funny, informative update on her life and the life of her kids.p>

Growing up, and still to this day I guess, I have been lucky enough to have been surrounded by ( without a doubt )the strongest, most independent, caring women I know, may they be grandmothers, aunts, or cousins and I credit them, and, of course, my mother for making me the woman I am today, in their own little ways. Whether they made a concious effort or not, I don't know, but I was always observing them, looking up to them, and eventually copy-catting them in some form or another. But for many reasons, AJ always intrigued me the most. She's not perfect, and she's had one hell of an unlucky run at life at times. I can't think of a single person I know, who has gone through what she has. No matter what life has thrown at her, she has never lost her incredible spirit. She has and always will be one who is full of life, loves a good laugh, some good conversation, and is always there for you if and when you need her. When she's around, no matter what the situation is, she brings out the best in people, most notably younger women. Even girls who aren't related to her call her 'Auntie'. She (along with my mother) have always reminded myself and alot of other relatives of mine, young and old, why family is so important. They may not always vocalize it , but boy, do they show it through their actions, their stories, and the way they pass on family traditions. (My favorite being the 'family theme-songs' their uncles and aunts sang when they were kids. ) Because of them, we will all do the same to our kids, and our kids will tell their kids, and so on, and no one will ever be forgotten or feel unloved.

My immediate and extended families are far from perfect. We fight, we fail, we drink, we smoke, we go without speaking for stupid reasons. We have divorcees, widows, alcoholics, rebellious teenagers, illegitimate children and some people who could do well with some anger-management counselling. I guess some people would call us disfunctional, but I believe we are perfectly functional. When push comes to shove, and the worst of the worst has happened to any one of us, no matter where we are, what issues we have with each other, or what other things we have going on in our lives, we have always come together, forgotten all those things for a moment, put some perogies on the stove, and dealt with whatever was going on as a family.

And we had fun doing it.

A New Look, and a Killer Hangover

It's been awhile since I've had an entry, and I am sorry to say, I don't have much to report. Still half-assed dog-sitting at Red's until Tuesday (I think), my kitty has to get her stitches out by tomorrow, and I was able to spend a night in my own bed yesterday. The weather was absolutely treacherous all week, but with the help of a higher power I'm sure, I survived walking through blowing ice and snow, and on seriously unsteady ground.

Last night, I threw myself a birthday party at the House of Pain. It's not my birthday yet, but most people don't like to party it up on a Tuesday night, which is my actual birthday, so Saturday night is was! I am pleased to announce that the party, although smaller than I thought it would be, was a huge success. Everyone got shit-faced, danced their booties off, and in general had a grand old time. My crush even showed up, and I must thank V-man for inviting him! The smoke machine was a bit much in our small living room, but thankfully nobody had an asthma attack, and there were only some minor injuries during the break-dancing competition, (or as Hobbsley called it..."Soul Train De-Railed"),that ended the night.

Upon waking a couple hours later, I was pleased to see that the sun was out, snow was melting, and the house was not in the shambles I had imagined it to be. Hobbsley was on the couch, and breathing, and Cookeroo came over for coffee, before Hobbsley, V-man and I went for a walk and had an overpriced brunch. (or rather splunch, since it was closer to supper time). Perfect day after the party, I must say. But unfortunatly, now that the sun has gone down, and the buzz from the night before has worn off, the hangover of a lifetime has kicked in. I've tried everything to make myself feel better before I have to go out again tonight for Pub Trivia, but not even a tylenol and a glass of Sangria can make me feel human again. I fear that the good times really are killing me!

I'm sure you've noticed my page is different, and I must send a big thank you out to my friend Schmutzie, who has designed the page, and has offered her services in changing it even more, when I get an idea of what I want. And with any luck, she will have the patience to teach me how to change/fix things on my own, and this site will be rocking your world. (or at least it'll be more interesting!)

Well, I guess that's all for today, I must go and memorize the Golden Globe winners of last week, and country capitals before trivia.......oh yes, I definatly have my priorities in order.

HTML Trouble and A Night at Smitty's

Oh, good Lord (or whatever higher power can help me now!) I have no idea what I've done, but I tried to follow the instructions on how to get my older entries to come back to me (you see they have disappeared), but I am a dumbass, and apparently, even when I follow HTML instructions to the letter, nothing works out for me! I must find someone to help me tomorrow, I feel lost and alone and stupid in this Diaryland!

Well, enough of that for now. Went out with Maggie May and Cookeroo, their boyfriends, and some aquaintances of mine (but good friends of Maggie May's)tonight. I must say, I did not feel any perkier once I was out on the town, and was happy to see that the rest of the crew wasn't too perky either.

"It must be the weather", we all agreed.

"If it was summer time, we'd be getting stupid drunk on a deck until the wee hours", we continued to blah-blah-blah about.

So after some OK conversation, a combo platter and a few cheap drinks, we all headed home, to the warmth of our homes, to smoke, do mindless things, and have a night-cap.

Well, I hope it was the weather that sent us yawning for home, because it was only 11pm on a Saturday night, and the thought of us going home because we are maybe just getting too old terrifies me!

What else do you do when you're waiting for your ride?

As I've mentioned before, I love lists. And since I don't have much to say, but feel like I should submit a diary entry, here are a few random lists. Keep in mind that the content of these lists are subject to change at anytime, as I change my mind about these things quite often. Also, nothing is in a particular order, so pay no mind to the numbers, they are only here for visual organization.

10 Songs I Over-Played This Month

1. Crash - Gwen Stefani
2. Best Of My Love - The Emotions
3. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
4. She's Losing It - Belle and Sebastion
5. Tell Me Why - Hayden, Feat. Julie Doiron
6. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
7. The Good Times are Killing Me - Modest Mouse
8. First Of The Gang To Die - Morrissey
9. Tropicalia - Beck
10. Mirror In The Bathroom - English Beat

A Snippet of My Favorite Albums of All Time

Now, I never can decide on what should or shouldn't be on this list, as this topic has come up in conversation a gazillion times, so these are the ones I could think of after giving myself 60 seconds to think.

1. The White Album - The Beatles
2. Mellow Gold - Beck
3. Vauxhall and I - Morrissey
4. For Him and the Girls - Hawksley Workman
5. Automatic For the People - R.E.M.
6. Ten - Pearl Jam
7. Five Days in July - Blue Rodeo
8. Coke Machine Glow - Gordon Downie
9. Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd
10. The Closer I Get - Hayden
11. Play - Moby
12. Nevermind - Nirvana
13. The Bends - Radiohead
14. Synchronicity - The Police
15. Dookie - Green Day
16. Pearl - Janis Joplin
17. Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins
18. Achtung Baby - U2
19. Elephant - The White Stripes
20. Joni Mitchell - Hits

Don't agree? Check out Rolling Stone's Pick's

My Favorite Books On the Shelf Above Me

1. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
2. Valley Of The Dolls - Jaqueline Susann
3. On the Road - Jack Kerouac
4. Red Lights On the Prairies - James H. Gray
5. At Wit's End - Erma Bombeck
6. Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carrol
7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix - J.K. Rowling
8. The Complete Works - William Shakespeare
9. Why We Act Like Canadians - Pierre Berton
10. Poets of Contemporary Canada (1960-1970)
11. Runaway - Evelyn Lau
12. Miss Wyoming - Douglas Coupland
13. The Virgin and the Gypsy - D.H Lawrence
14. Dolores Claiborne- Stephen King
15. One Good Story, That One - Thomas King

Home Again, Listening to DNTO

Well, it feels good to be home. It's only been a week or so at Red's, but I sure miss my computer, the kittens, and just holing myself up in my bedroom with a cigarette and a cup of coffee. Supposed to go out on the town with the girls tonight, but I'm not really feeling up to it, now that I am home. But alas, Maggie May has a new BOYFRIEND, which is the reason for us all getting together, and dammit, I must meet the man who tamed her, and stole her heart. So I guess I'm going out, no matter what I'd rather do. Who knows, maybe I'll feel a bit better if I exert some energy tonight too, I've been feeling rather lifeless all week, most likely due to the windchill hitting -50 C, and not being able to do anything without fear of frostbite and another cold.

Now, I've been home for a little over an hour, and I have smoked more cigarettes than I have in the last 2 days. You see, we can't smoke in public anymore, and I can't smoke at Red's, and I am proud to inform you, that a pack of fags has lasted me 3 days. I actually feel good, and so does my wallet, as usually I am dishing out 10 bucks a day! So with any luck, I won't smoke myself stupid this weekend while I'm at home, and I can continue to cut back even more next week, when I return to Red's. Oh fuck, who am I kidding, I'll probably smoke so much here at home, that I'll have cancer by Monday morning.

Well, I guess that's about all for now, I have to make some calls, maybe have a nap, and then get all whored up for my night on the town. With any luck, we'll go to a pub, and not to some skanky meat market club. I guess if the club comes into play, I'll track down the boys and Red, and head to THE pub, as per usual.

My Favorite Way to Spend a Saturday Afternoon Definatly Not The Opera

Kitty Cats, Puppy Dogs and an Empty Bank Account

What a day. After a late night of drinking ( God, you guys must think I'm an alcoholic, I'm not one....yet.), I had to be up at 6am to wake up my Kitty and our overlord V-man, to go to the vet clinic. It was time for my little baby to get herself a hysterectomy, as her bouts of going into heat have increased, and she was driving everyone crazy, and I want to let her outside, but I'm not ready to be a grandmother. Poor thing, she was terrified as I put her collar on and wrapped her in a blanket to go for the short car ride to the clinic. She knew something was up, and I had a tear in my eye, when the doctor took her away, crying and hissing. You see, I think she was confused, as the only other times she has been in a car, we were moving and I don't think she wanted to be moved to this place that reeked of surgery and death. There was no convincing her that I was in fact, coming back.

I sat at home all day, waiting for the call to pick her up, and got ahold of good ol' Cookeroo to drive me to the clinic to get her. When I arrived the nurses were frazzled. Apparently she had been yelling and swiping at them all day, and I was the only one who could get her out of the kennel....which I did after a few swipes and a few more bites on my finger.....SHE WAS ROYALLY PISSED AT ME!! I worried the whole way home, that she would never love me again. What had I done to her??? But miraculously, the second I got her out of her cage, and put her on the couch, we were friends again. She had regained her trust in me, and was happy to see her best friend Lemon, and Lemon was happy to see her, as she had been searching for her all day. Another disaster averted.

As soon as I knew Kitty and I would be fine, I started thinking of my bank account. My empty, pitiful bank account. I see no reason why veteranarians have to charge so much for such a simple service, which is why it took me so long to get her fixed. And when I looked at my receipt, and realized I had gotten the cheaper, "Low Cost Spay and Neuter"procedure done, and it still set me back almost $200, I just wanted implode a pint glass! Maybe if more people could afford the procedure, and the shots that come with it, we wouldn't need to have people preaching about how important it is to spay and neuter our pets!

At least I don't have to worry too much about my taxi and bus costs until payday, and I don't have to buy groceries this month since, as of tomorrow, I will be dog-sitting at Red's place for a couple weeks. Red lives about a 10 minute walk away from where I work, and a good chunk of my hard-earned pay goes to getting to and from work every month. The bus doesn't run out in the 'burbs at night, and a taxi cab from my home to work is about 12 bucks a pop. It'll also be nice to have some quiet time,and Red's house is absolutely beautiful and stocked with enough food and homemade wine to get us all through a nuclear disaster, and the rebuilding of planet earth. I will also be able to get some quality time in with Red. I can hear you now....."She's still there, but you are dog-sitting?"......Well she works during the day, and likes to get out once in awhile at night, and I will be able to let her poor blind dog out when she is unable to, giving her less to worry about, and if I have to work at midnight, she can go out and have a life if she likes. It really does work out for both of us. Normally her parents would be there, but they are away on a much deserved vacation.

And on that note, I think I should pack my bag and go check on my kitty, who if you are wondering, I will still be checking on daily, and my wonderful roommates will look after when I am not here........

Farm Animals Are Awesome www.kidsfarm.com

For you animal rights activists www.peta.org

For those of you who love animals, but still like to wear them and eat them www.mtd.com/tasty

I am a Super Hero!!!!

I have recently discovered that I have some sort of incredible power to make things explode. Now the witnessess to the following incident tried to use science to make me feel like I was not as special as I thought, and to them I say, "Bugger off and let me have my moment!" You see, we were at the pub, playing our weekly trivia game. (We came in 2nd by the way!) I was feeling utterly frustrated, as I think that sometimes the team-mates overthink things, and that's when we get wrong answers, and as I am broke, I really wanted to win some free beer on my day off. ANYHOO.... As I was sitting, waiting impatiently for the next round to begin, and listening to the hogwash around me, all of a sudden, my pint glass of beer, shattered in my hands!!! I was not gripping the glass tightly, merely resting all my fingertips around it, giving it a nice fingertip hug. Now, you may say, there is an explanation, maybe a hairline fracture in the glass??? Well, please explain to me, how the beer practically disappeared, and the pint glass, as well as the beer inside, morphed and turned into little cubes of glass....(which unfortunatly for V-Man, looked exactly like ice cubes)Yes, I had turned my beautiful full pint, into a pile of glass cubes. Isn't that cool? I now plan to ignore all the logical explanations given to me, and continue to practice this new found talent. The only thing I'm not sure of, is if I should use my powers for good or evil. Beware, one day soon, not only glassware, but a human head, could be exploding and crystalizing at a pub, mall or banking institution near you. Have a nice day!!

Who's Who and What's What

B-Rock

My bestest friend in the whole wide world. And also the friend with whom I have shared the most history.

Hobbsley

We like to party. I also write for him when I can. He's an original.

J

High school sweetheart, lives in next city over. One of the few people other than B-Rock that
gets my Kids in the Hall and Vacant Lot references.

The City

Where I live my life.

The House of Pain

The house that I live in. The Unknown Poet calls it this, guess he feels pain here.

DasPiper

Good friend, who moved to Hemp Country last year for a better life.

Pete

There is no way to describe my good friend Pete. You'll have to meet him someday.

Small Town

Where I grew up, and where my mother still lives.

GQ

Brother #1. He calls himself my defender. Sometimes I wish he would just
defend himself.

Film Star (aka youngblood)

Brother #2. Couldn't think of a name to describe him properly, he's the sweetest kid in the world.

The Unknown Poet

Best Friend of GQ. Also a good friend of mine and Film Star's.

V-man

My good friend and overlord...oops, landlord, at the House of Pain.

Hot Toronto Friend

Had a great summer with him in 2003, see him a couple times of year, usually run into
him at the pub.

The Pub

Where we all spend too much time. The beer is too expensive, but the people are great.

Badu,Roach, KF and Maggie May

My girlfriends who I do not spend nearly enough time with. They are all amazing human beings.

Cookeroo (aka The Cookster)

My best girlfriend.Met her at an old job of mine, and we just clicked. Been stuck together like glue ever since.

Red

Known her for years, part of the Pub gang, better half of GQ.

AJ

My mother's older sister. When we were kids, GQ and I named many of our toys after her for some reason, my favorite being the little black boy with the red sweater,made by Fisher Price, that my dad found floating in our lagoon one day. No one has ever admitted to flushing her down the toilet, I just know it wasn't me. She does not look anything like that little boy.

Sandra Dee

A good friend of mine, who lives "across the pond".

Astro-Boy, Code-ster,Chucky, et al...

Work at THE PUB.

Dynomite,Raggedy Andy, Mr.Grand (aka CG),and more!

Boys, who are friends, with me, a girl.

Shmeed and Shabs

Good friends of mine, who originated in Small Town.

TypicalQuirk

V-Man's better half. :)

My favorite show shouldn't have been cancelled after one season

Does anyone remember the TV Show "My So-Called Life"? If not, I'll catch you up. It starred Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano and Claire Danes as the main character Angela, in all her cool dye-job goodness. For all I know, all the other regulars in the show have gone on to bigger and better things than Jared and Claire, but I don't follow those things very regularily.

I have been watching this show religiously during my graveyard shifts at work. At first, I think it was because I had seen one episode when I was about 15, and couldn't watch it again, due to my family only having "Farm-Vision". But alas, I was hooked. I have never been big on teeny-bopper dramas, I can't relate, as I don't live in Beverly Hills or in Orange County. The one exception was always Degrassi Junior (and Senior) High....it was realisitic (except for the clothes, they were pure Toronto), and even though I didn't have a baby at 13, or go to Pogues concerts, I could get the gist of what was going on with those kids from Degrassi Street. Anyways........................

I know that it's many years too late, but I really wish that "My So-Called Life" had been on Farm-Vision, so my mom and I could have watched it together like we did Degrassi. Although, many an uncomfortable teenage-girl/mother conversations were started due to Degrassi being on the tube, I think that if my mother had been able to see Angela go through her one season of teenage angst, she would have understood me completely, or at least a whole lot more than I think she did.

I feel like I'm watching a younger version of myself every night at 1am....and understanding and remembering a few events that I had blocked or forgotten, that really have made me the disfunctional semi-mature individual I am today. I had a Jorden Catalano, who broke my heart every day, for reasons as small as not seeing me in the hall at school, and as big as telling me how much he liked me, and making out with me when we were together, but when his friends were around, I didn't exist. I had a best friend, well a few friends, who I followed along, thinking that they knew more than me in every department, when in the end I just got into trouble, and really knew all along that I would, but it just didn't seem to matter at the time. I also had the friend, who once high school hit, we didn't hate each other, but we just KNEW that we had entered a heirarchy, and we were on different levels all together. Ah, the memories.

I know that I am not the only one who has these experiences and these relationships, and that's why I'm mentioning this whole fascination. Sometimes we just have to look back on who we were, and laugh and cry all at the same time, and scream "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING"!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!

It keeps us humble.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, it's a New Year, and as for me, I know that 2005 will definately be better than 2004! It really couldn't have gotten any worse....well if it could have, I am ecstatic that it didn't. Not that there weren't high points in the 2004 though, I really did have some good laughs, good times, good adventures and some good nights of dancing in the living room until dawn, with my amazing friends and family! (But I think maybe the bad out-weighed the good for the first time ever in my life experience)

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I absolutley LOVE the Christmas break here in The City that Rhymes with Fun. There are always people to see, things to do, and cars to shovel out of the snow, so you can get to the offsale before it closes. Even though people are stressed about the shopping, the driving to their hometowns (in blizzards) to visit family, and the fact that they are going to be in the poorhouse for all of January, good, happy vibes abound. I have never seen faces that happy on friends and strangers alike, as I witness every Christmas holiday, when that friend from out of town walks into the pub. I am the girl who runs across rooms to hug someone I haven't seen in two weeks, so it makes me fell like less of a freak, when everyone else is acting like me...for about 14 days a year anyway........

I had the amazing opportunity to see many old friends this holiday season, and was happy to see that everyone changed, and changed for the better. Maybe it's true that we are all growing up in our own little ways. Hot Toronto Friend was only in town for one night, and I regret that I didn't spend any time with him, even though we sat 10 feet away from each other for about 3 hours. We did have a quick catch-up, but we were both at the pub with other far-away friends, so you visit who you have to. Pete was here for a day or two, got to hang out with him for awhile one evening before leaving for Small Town, I really have to go visit him one of these days! I was really excited to see DasPiper at my door a few days ago, even though I was sick with the sniffles, and didn't give him much of a welcome! The rye he brought cured me of that soon enough. He promised me before he flew back to Hemp Country, that he would be back in March, and if I didn't have a boyfriend, he would be trying to pick me up then. The people I saw at my hometown Boxing Day Cabaret surprised me the most though. I ran into many people I see on a semi-regular basis, and that was nice, but it was almost shocking, how many people talked to me and wanted to hang out with me, that I really have not talked to since high school, some of them I stopped talking to when I still was IN high school. I really changed my idea of cutting these people off entirely after leaving Small Town, they aren't so bad....I guess I just thought at the time, that I was better off without them in my life. Very snotty, I know, but I was afraid that none of them would go anywhere or do anything interesting with their lives, and I didn't want that for myself. And on another level, I guess I was afraid that the people I have heard things about over the years, would think that I was the loser that wasn't doing anything with her life....oh, the insecurities.......
But J was the one person, who I was most happy to see this Xmas. I think I actually screamed when I ran into him in Small Town. I'm not sure how happy his fiance was that I was there, I can never tell if she likes me, but seeing him, really loosened me up, and I was happy and carefree for the rest of the cabaret. Then a few days later he came to the city to visit relatives and came out to the pub with my gang of hooligans. My girlfriends could not figure out why I broke up with him, even after I explained that he was my high-school boyfriend, and we just went our own ways. but I must agree with them, J looks amazing, and is still as nice and fun as I remember....and during our discussion of the tsunami, and how I couldn't talk about it anymore because it made me upset, and he played with my hair and said he knew I was upset.....you can't imagine, and I can't express in a blog, how I wished that it was 1997 again, and I could just whisk him away.......

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AND THEN I RANG IN THE NEW YEAR.......

Due to missing work the day before, because of the worst storm we've had yet this winter, I had to work on New Year's Eve. I got off early though, and headed out to the pub to find my drunken friends. Didn't take long for me to catch up to them though in that department, as I hadn't eaten and was full of cold medication. After we had enough of the bar, which from what I can remember, was about 1:30am, we all went and got more booze, and headed to the House of Pain to dance our booties off and continue to intoxicate ourselves. With only one drunken trouble-maker, which is more than I can say for New Year's Eve's past, it was fairly uneventful, good clean fun....and I learned that I am not the only person I know who is obsessed with the Pet Shop Boys and Duran Duran....

However there was one event, I won't go into much detail about, but it gets me a little bit more proof of a theory I have about myself. You see, I have found that, since the big break up with B-Rock, I have not had much luck in the relationship department, or even the one-night stand department. Not that I have been totally out of luck, but there isn't much romance or hot action in my life...for a variety of reasons, I'm sure. But then here comes the Holiday season, and all of a sudden, I start getting the flirts.....from, well lots of guys. I don't know why, but I'm one hot toddy at Xmas time. Maybe it's the extra 20 pounds I put on, or maybe it's the red flush of my cheeks from the -45 degree weather, I don't know. All I know is, that by the time the holiday is over, and everyone is back in their real world groove, I have gotten some loving. And doggonit....it happened again this year, the morning of Jan 1st, when the party had died down and everyone was getting ready to pass out on their faces in the most convenient spots in the house.
This year, was a shocker though,you see, he's the brother of my friend Hobbsley, and from what I know, he only visits here at Xmas time. I had no idea he had any inkling that I was a girl, and I had no idea I would ever do anything with him, considering I have always kind of thought of him as a bit of a player, and I don't know him all that well, other than to watch him pick up girls, and we have the occassional drink together. He was very forward all evening, we finally did some smooching, and by morning, that was that, we had done the deed. I guess what surprised me the most, was that I didn't feel like a dirty whore the next day. He stayed for most of the day, and he said some great things to me and about me, and said he liked me, and gave me some amazing reasons, and it took all I could muster to believe what he was saying to me.....and now I think I do. I do regret though, that I kind of ignored him the next day (until the wonderful kiss good-bye), but as i have said, I don't have much romance in my life, so I'm a little out of practice at this, and to boot, we had friends and his brother sitting there with us.....and I wasn't sure what they thought of the whole deal. But now he's back in GrungeTown, and since we didn't exchange any contact information, I figure I'll see him next Christmas. Maybe we can hang out and get to know each other then.
I have a bad (or is it good?) habit, of sleeping with practical strangers and THEN getting to be good friends with them. I think it's much better than sleeping with a friend, and then the relationaship changes, so you are practically strangers.

Well folks, that's all for now.

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Dalai Lama Interview http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/interview.html

Go Canada! http://www.tsn.ca/world_jrs/

Tsunami Relief http://www.familiesforchildren.ca/