Going to work isn't such a horrible thing anymore, because I figure I've gotta do something productive in my day, and taking on extra shifts at my second job, just gives me something extra to do at night. Working keeps my mind off of my troubles, until I get the craptastic paycheck at the end of the month. When at home, I spend my time cleaning the kitchen and folding blankets, or sitting in my bedroom watching fuzzy CBC television, half-ass listening to whatever happens to be on until "The Hour" comes on, and then I actually pay attention to the TV. At the same time, I'm drinking copius amounts of tea (with the exception of those special days, when a glass of wine or three is in order), while playing multiple games of Scrabble online and surfing the interweb. Of course, there will be the days, when I am feeling spunky and the living room will be empty, and I will spend the day making jewellery and sewing, while watching CSI re-runs.
When I go out, to the same old place, I'm charming as all hell to strangers and people I rarely see, and the looks on their faces give me a bit of an ego boost. When I talk to them, I know I've still got it, and when I let it show, I've got one kick ass personality. When it's just my friends, and I feel comfortable letting myself go a bit if I'm in a mood, I will whine and complain about how bored and lonely I am, and ignore their comments about how I can do anything because I am so damn wonderful, and the right person for me is right around the corner, if only I'd just put myself out there.
Once this winter weather finally leaves us, and the warm sun starts to melt the snow, I will spend my alone time going for walks, and reading in the park, eventually ending up at the patio of The Pub, laughing and drinking and singing and playing frisbee with the summer friends ,as well as the regulars. It will be fun, and I will have many hungover mornings at work, because I just didn't want to go home, or go inside, or leave the laughter and merriment that only happens in the summer in The City.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't a horrible life. It's just a bit irritating, how easily I can predict it.