I must say, compared to the fun and games of last week, this week has been incredibly dull in comparison. Mind you, I'm broke, and back to working nights, so it's not like I could go out on the town and do anything anyways, but I have this nagging feeling that I'm in for incredible boredom from now until St. Patty's Day. There seems to be alot going on in the lives of people around me, and I feel a bit silly by not having anything going on in my life. Or maybe I'm just being a big baby, and feeling a bit left out of the chaos and gossip that surrounds me, even though I know full well, that I would be miserable if I were going through the break-ups, the job stress, the moving, and so on that my friends are going through. It makes no sense, but of course, I rarely understand myself. At the same time, I also have the feeling that, at any moment, I could very well be dragged into the madness, and I'm not sure I could handle that either. Holy hell, I'd like to understand myself for just a minute.
I guess the biggest change for me this week, is living alone. The roomate and her boyfriend officially moved out yesterday, and V-man's gal is back from her trip, so I haven't seen him since Sunday. I must say, it's been much easier to keep a tidy house, and I don't feel bad at all for being in the living room and watching TV. Plus, to top off all this comfy-ness, I can blast my Morrissey as loud as I want, without depressing/bothering the entire household. But even though I'm enjoying the alone time, the cats are having a rough time of it. My kitty's best friend (another kitty), belonged to the roomate, and now V-man's cat is trying desperatly to regain her power over the household, which has led to many a bloody cat-fight, and many whomps on the bum from me for both of them. If I have any good luck left at all, they will work out their territorial and racial problems, and I will not have to endure any more scratches, or being woken up by blood-curdling screams.
I'm not sure if is a good thing or not, but this quiet time, has also given me a chance to do alot of thinking about, well everything. Mostly what I'm looking for in life, or how others are affecting my life, in good ways and bad. And I am happy to report, that the pro's outweigh the con's in how others affect me, my actions, and my life in general. I have been told, and have worried myself, that there are certain people in my life that 'just aren't healthy' for me, but I have come to the realization, that even though I may not be showing my maturity and logic through milestones, I am however showing those traits through the way I deal with these people. I have stopped day-dreaming and thinking up best-case scenarios, and have started thinking like the strong, logical woman that I am. Not that I am never irrational, Jesus, I over-react, and mis-interpret things on a daily basis, but dammit, I'm getting better! Whether some people have noticed it yet or not, I'm doing pretty good for an Aquarius.
Well, I guess that's all for today, I really should get to sleep, as I didn't have a chance to sneak in any shut eye last night, and I would like to be able to enjoy the quiet house for awhile this evening before I have to catch that darn bus half-way to work.
G'night.
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