I hate being broke. What I hate more about being broke, is when I look at my bank statement to see why I am broke a week before payday, and realize that on top of having to pay my student loan, contributing to mutual funds and paying rent, if I didn't smoke, didn't have a car and didn't eat, I would actually have some money in my account. I was pleasantly surprised to see that beer didn't really factor in to this equation so far this month, because I hate to blame beer for anything.
Yes, cigarettes are a total waste of money. That's a given. I smack myself regularily for wasting money on killing myself, but I happen to enjoy killing myself, so we'll leave that one alone. For now. What really kills me, is that I am stressed out, and can't afford cigarettes, so I want to smoke even more than I normally do.
I love my car. It takes me here, there and everywhere, and in a pinch, I think I'll be able to live in it. I just don't love the bank that keeps taking double payments out of my account every two weeks. They, are the devil.
This month, I chose to not go to the grocery store for food, and instead go to the Farmer's Market twice a week for beetniks and veggies and live off the staples that I have in my cupboard. I am trying to eat at least three times a day, instead of once, or not at all, and I figured that buying fresh veggies and homemade Ukranian food would help me accomplish this goal. I've been doing OK, but sometimes, I'm lazy, and I go and eat out. Now I have a new goal, which is to not eat out, and just eat what is in the kitchen.
So, I guess other than the devil bank, the rest of this is all my fault. And that's a tough pill to swallow.
When I started this new job, I thought I'd be flush. But apparently, the more money I make, the more money I spend, and I still don't have the money for a winter coat, socks or garbage bags for the house. I need to get my shit together, and fast.
But until then, I'll just pray that my GST cheque shows up pronto, and I'll take some bottles in, and lay low, and come up with a plan to budget more appropriatly from now on, so I can have what I want, and purchase what I need, and hopefully even save some money to get the hell outta dodge for a bit this spring.