My email over the last couple weeks, has been depressing me. I was getting the distinct impression that nobody had anything to say to me. Which is depressing in itself, because if everyone's life is as dull as mine right now, we are in desperate need of Spring. I was only getting sent forwards I've seen a hundred times already, or spam. At least most of the spam is trying to be helpful, but I wish I knew how I got on the "Enlarge Your Penis" mailing list. The very fact that my email address has the word 'girl' in it, should have tipped someone off, that I am without that appendage. So I was ecstatic yesterday, when I opened my Inbox, and realized that I had 3 emails from people I actually know, and they weren't forwarded jokes or dirty pictures. Ecstatic until I read them of course. All three, were announcing engagements, and forthcoming weddings. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for these people, they are my friends, and I'm glad that they have found people that make them so happy and ful-filled. I guess it was just another slap in the face, reminding me about how far behind everyone I am when it comes to life in general. Did I miss class they day they taught us how to be an adult when the time came? Knowing me, I was probably smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee down the street at the diner. Thank god, I got those 2 habits under my belt early.
It has come to my attention, when I started paying attention, that my peers are surpassing me in all of life's little milestones. If they aren't going to Uni, they are buying houses, moving in together, getting married, or having babies. Are those the things I'm supposed to be doing? If so, I think I have to go back and take that class again. I spent the first part of my 20's, assuming that soon, I was going to be settled down, a wedding date would be set, and everything would just fall into place. When that assumption blew up in my face, I realized how lost I was. And here I am, a couple years later, no husband, no babies, no home of my own, living in fear that V-man will be the next one to get hitched, and I'll have to move out, and have nowhere to go! For someone who has no trouble making new friends, I have no idea how the dating game is played, and although I have many a male friend, I have yet to meet someone who wants to do anything more than drink beer, and screw around. I feel like I'm back in high school some days. Sheesh.
But what can you do? I can agonize over it all I want, nothing's going to change, until I figure out what I want, and find that guy who rocks my world. Guess I'll just have to continue looking after Number One, congratulate my peers on reaching their milestones, and offer to bartend or sit at the guestbook at their weddings.
__________________________________
Ok, I know my entries have been a bit depressing as of late, I promise that one day soon, it'll all be teddy bears, sunshine and roses.
__________________________________
We loved you HUNTER S. THOMPSON.
See ya later.
No comments:
Post a Comment