Well, I must say, that I am in much better spirits this week. Although I'm utterly exhausted from my midnight shifts, I feel somewhat happier, and I regained some confidence this week, that had left me shortly after the new year began. And I owe most of the happy, confident thoughts, to a Tuesday night with 2 Live Crew, and their Me So Horny girls. No seriously. Quit laughing or rolling your eyes or whatever you're doing right now, I'll explain.
V-man and I headed out on the town Tuesday evening, and I was ready to rock. My plan for the night, was to have a good laugh, dance myself back to the 80's, and get good and stumbly. Which I did, and I even got some photos of some regular pub-goers getting molested by hot, big-bootied women up on the stage. Good times all around, my only regret being that I didn't haul my own big bootie up on the stage too, but people were already so shocked that I was actually there, that I didn't want to be too shocking. More than a few times throughout the night I heard things like"Oh, my god! I can't believe YOU came here!", "OOOO, you're so innocent and sweet, I didn't know you liked 2 Live Crew!", and so on. I find it funny, and a bit flattering that some people I know think I'm so darn innocent. But what was more funny to me that night, was when I looked around and realized just how WHITE everyone was around me. Now that was hilarious....a club full of awkward-dancing whities, getting their jollies to the Me So Horny girls. Classic.
Anyways, I'm getting off topic, and losing my train of thought. Too many thoughts running through my sleep deprived, coffee-craving brain today. Now where was I? Oh yes, my confidence returning.
I have noticed, over the years, that when I am all by myself, or even a bit out of my element, I shift into 'have fun and make friends' gear, and I'm off. I don't feel uncomfortable, I don't wish that I had back-up, and I just act like... me. That's when I shine. And I shone again on Tuesday night. I did know quite a few people that were at the concert, but none were close friends (other than V-man), and the next best thing to him were Astro-Boy and some other pub staff, and some friends of B-Rock's that were there, who I have hung out with, but we are really just aquaintances. But I felt perfectly comfortable, as soon as we tracked down Chewy, and made ourselves at home with his crew. I felt flirty, funny and sociable, and that mood stayed with me the entire night. There was no stopping my great mood, not even watching our car get towed away as we left the bar, dampered it. But then again, I was drunk, and it barely registered, since I spotted Astro-Boy and friend standing outside waiting for a cab at the same time. Which was a good thing, since we had no way home, and were going to need a cab anyway! Our evening continued downtown, drinking and chatting and watching Fear and Loathing at AB's friends place, and by the time I got home, I felt like one hot momma, and was truly pleased with the evening's outcome overall.
Confidence has become such a rare attribute in my personality, that I relish when it comes to visit me. Having one outrageous night, away from the rut of The Pub, proved to me(and reminded me), that I need to climb out of it more often, and that I don't need anyone to come with me, unless they so wish. I have always been fine, doing things on my own, dancing to the beat of my own drum, and I need to bring some of that back into my life. So I will, you just watch.