I have been having a recurring dream, almost every night, for the past couple of weeks. In the dream, I am walking through a night club with all of my friends in tow. I'm strutting through the crowd like John Travolta, and the other patrons are all stopping what they are doing, (dancing, talking, making out), and turn their heads in slow motion, and stare at me in awe. It's at this moment, that I realize that my friends are all being very protective of me, motioning strangers out of the way of my path, guarding me with their arms, and guiding me to wherever the hell it is we are going. I look down, and see that I am pregnant, big as a house, on the verge of popping any second.
I feel awkward, having everyone treat me like I am so fragile, and I want to be left alone. We all stop in the middle of the club, and everyone begins to chat about how excited they are about my baby, guessing if it is going to be a boy or a girl, planning how they are going to celebrate the birth, etc. I say nothing. I stop, ignore my surroundings,and caress my belly. I can't feel anything. No kicking, no movement what so ever. I feel empty. I realize that the baby is dead...or maybe it's not there at all. I can't decide. Maybe I made it up in my head, and I'm not pregnant at all. I start to worry about how I'm going to break the news to everyone who is so happy for me, start to dread the thought of their disappointed stares, the "I"m so sorry's", and having to explain to everyone how I hadn't noticed that there was something wrong with the baby before now.
At that point, I wake up.
This morning, I dragged out the dream dictionary to try and shed some light on this recurrent dream. It said:
To dream that you are pregnant with the baby dying (or dead) inside of you suggests that a project (at work or in your personal life) you had put a lot of effort into is falling apart or has slowly deteriorated. Nothing is working out the way you want it to.
All things considered, the dream book's interpretation makes sense. Hopefully, that will all change soon.