Dear SGI,
So what you're telling me is, if I pay you $700, you will tow my car to the mechanic of my choice, so I can pay even more money to get it fixed? And you won't replace my stereo, my CD's, or clean the piss smell out of it? Mmm...thanks, but no thanks. Keep the fucking thing. I don't want it, I'll take my $700 and put it towards a new car. Enjoy!
By the way, what do I pay insurance for anyways? Just wondering, because apparently it doesn't cover theft, or damages caused by such a crime.
Go fuck yourselves,
Abigail
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Dear Current Employer,
My last day with you is on Friday. I gave you 2 weeks notice, just like a good girl is supposed to do. All you had to do was hire someone, whom I could properly train to take over for me. Sure, I'm leaving, and I shouldn't care, but if you haven't noticed, I work with a highly complex autistic woman, who just might appreciate having a support worker who actually knows how to take care of her and deal with her. You are screwing her over, not me. Have fun with her, when she loses her noodle, because you are fucking up her life.
Might need a reference one day, so hope you don't read this,
Abigail
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Dear Wendy's,
I needed you today, and you were there. But seriously, what's with the square burgers? Are you just trying to be different, or do they come from square cows?
Thanks for the flatulence,
Abigail
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Dear Punk Rock Show,
Although I would love to attend tonight, and support my friends, you are starting too late in the evening. I have to work in the morning. I need at least 6 hours of restless sleep to function properly. Maybe I am just not as punk rock as I used to be. Please don't judge me, for getting old.
Rock on,
Abigail
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Dear Pile O' Laundry,
I washed you, dried you, and put you back in the hamper. I would appreciate it, if just once, you could help me out and fold yourself and put yourself where you are supposed to be. Unless of course, you like being stepped on, and shoved under the bed.
Love you lots!
Abigail
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Dear Vet Clinic,
Has it ever crossed your mind, that maybe more people would spay or neuter their cats if it was a hell of a lot more affordable? That maybe, when it comes down to eating this month, or fixing your cat, most people will put themselves first? No, you say? I'm way off here, and my cat should always come before me and others, and it shouldn't matter if it costs hundreds of dollars? Ok then.
By the way, you're quite crafty. Are you in cahoots with SGI?
See ya Thursday,
Abigail
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Dear Revenue Canada,
Since I'm going to owe you money anyways, even though in my opinion, I have given you more than enough money already this year, I was wondering if I could just sign the form, send it in, and you could do all the math for me? Thanks a bunch, cause I hate math. And taxes. I say, if I'm giving you the money, you can at least do the work. Earn your keep, bitches!
Love always,
Abigail
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Dear Abigail,
This will all work out. It always does. You can handle whatever is thrown at you. Remember that good things are starting to happen, and soon enough, you will feel good too.
Love,
Yourself
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