32 Things I've Learned in my 32 Years

Yesterday I turned thirty-two. Getting older usually doesn't bother me, but this year, the thought of being thirty-two turned my stomach a wee bit. Thirty-two is not old by any means, but it has sunk in that I am not nineteen anymore, and even though I have more than enough time to still do everything I want to do in life ( if I don't get hit by a bus or have a fatal brain aneurysm or anything), I don't really have the time to lollygag anymore...some decisions need to be made, and some things just need to get done, and some things just are the way they are. I haven't learned much, but I've tried, and here is a list of things I believe to be true.


1. Go ahead and lie, cheat and steal if it suits you.  Just be okay with the fact that you are going to get caught, and have a plan for when you do.

2. You cannot die of a broken heart.

3. There is no better feeling than someone making you laugh til you cry.

4. It is impossible to eat healthy when you only have $15.00 left after you cash your paycheck and pay the bills.

5. The tall skinny blonde sitting next to you, probably has just as many issues with her body and self esteem as the short, fat person on the other side of you.

6. Girls are way dirtier than boys.

7. True friends will tell you that you are being an asshole when you are, and expect you to keep them in line too.

8. Don't regret anything. What's done is done, and there was a reason why you did it.

9. Nobody owes you anything, so don't expect anything.

10. If you are going to sink a canoe in the middle of a lake, empty it of its contents first.

11. Dancing with your friends can make almost anything better.

12. Don't play board games with Bree or Nick, unless you are prepared for the consequences. ;)

13. If you're confused in an airport, train station, or bus station the haggard guy with all the patches on his back pack knows more than the staff that are paid to be there.

14. Don't use gasoline to start a fire if the pit is close to the house.

15. Don't leave your clothes on the beach when you go skinny dipping. Always take something into the water with you, just in case.

16. Always have some hand signals worked out before you hook the GT Racer up to the back of your vehicle and whip your cousin around on it.

17. Don't wear flip flops to a concert, unless you're okay with standing in the back, or losing a toenail or two.

18. Wear comfortable underwear. Picking a thong out of your arse all day does not make you look sexy.

19. You are never too old or too young to have fun adventures.

20. Unless they were awful to you, it's a good idea to be friends with your ex.

21. Being poor sucks. Having money really does make you happier.

22. Take good care of your teeth.

23. No matter how hard you try not to, you do turn into your parents in some shape or form.

24. When peeing outside, always make sure that you are at the top of the downward slant.

25. You will most likely get away with driving home drunk if the people in the car are way drunker than you are, and you stick your belly out and pretend that you are pregnant and physically uncomfortable. Roll your eyes at the cop to show your disdain for your friends/family/boyfriend.

26. Nobody ever gets rid of photos that you ask them to.

27. If you are leaving on vacation, don't leave leftover fish in your fridge.

28. Cats aren't super fond of swimming.

29. A savings account is good to have so you can move your last $40.00 to it from your chequing account so it doesn't get wasted on those darn NSF's.

30. If you pluck that hair, it will come back darker and thicker, and it will bring some friends.

31. It is better to be dressed for the weather than dressed to look cool.

32. No matter what happens in your life, you can and will get through it...... eventually.