Nov 1, 2011

10 Things that Scare the Crap Out of Me, In Honor of Hallowe'en.

1. Walking up stairs in which I can see through. I do not need to know how far away I am from the ground.

2. Children in horror movies. Seriously, there's nothing like watching a cute little demonic child terrorize a sleepy mountain town that doesn't make you rethink your plans for becoming a foster parent, or even a biological parent.

3. Turning into a zombie. Seriously, if I get bit, just lob my head off. Don't be a pussy about it, just do it.

4. Unfinished basements. I don't care what you say, but if your basement only has a cement floor and a swinging lightbulb, you are hiding something from me, and no, I will not go downstairs and fetch something out of the freezer for you.

5. Moving into a home that has a mean ghost. I have lived with some weird dead people before, but all of them have been very nice from what I experienced.  I do not ever want to live with a spirit that is an asshole.

6. Not only am I terrified of experiencing my own death, but I am really afraid of dying and not having my body found until it is all gross and bloated and eaten by birds and rodents.

7. Aliens. I believe they are out there, and I would really appreciate it if they never, ever set foot in my bedroom at night to take me away and do tests on me. Thanks in advance, space people.

8.  Happening upon a dead body while walking in the woods.

9. Showering at night, in a bathroom that doesn't have a locking door. I'm looking at you, hostels and campgrounds.

10. Being the slowest runner in the group.

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