Even though this would be day six, and I have yet to eat today, I technically finished five days of the Master Cleanse.
When it came to the whole not eating part of the cleanse, it was actually quite easy for me. I was craving popcorn and battered mushrooms for some reason the past three days, and last night, I gave in and had the popcorn, even though I wasn't all that hungry. But it was oh,
sooooo goood.
The problem for me with this cleanse, is that I really didn't feel "cleansed" at all. Everything I read told me that I was going to shit out decades of waste that was just hanging out in my colon, and well, I don't think that I did. I did the Sea Salt Water Chug one day, and that was enough. The taste, and the intense stomach cramps that came after, were nothing short of horrendous. I would have rather had the flu. I truly do think, that I am not as unhealthy as I previously thought....there was just nothing in me to evacuate.
I lost about 8-10 pounds. which is good I guess, but for me, that is the equivalent of a regular sized person losing one pound. It's a start I guess, and hopefully I can keep it off.
By day three, I realized how easy it was for me to not eat at all. Sure, I was tired, and my daily swim was hard with no real energy, but I dealt. I figured I could just starve myself until 20 pounds dropped off, and then go from there.
I probably could have. However, by day four, my brain had gotten confused, and thought that I was starving myself because I was depressed, and not because I was "cleansing". That is not good.
My annual mental anguish and depression, that I am accustomed to, kicked in in a matter of hours. Next thing I knew, I was sad, hating myself, and planning on becoming an anorexic, just to make myself look sexy, and make others happy. (Sound crazy? Yup, sure does!) Little comments from people that meant
nothing, all of a sudden meant everything to me.
I realized late last night, that I was not doing this cleanse anymore to feel better physically, but because I was depressed....and when I am depressed, I tend not to eat. My appetite is non-existent.
So, today I am going to try and ween myself back on to food. I have to take it easy, otherwise I will be shitting all the live long day. I have planned some healthy meals and snacks to take to work with me this week, and hope that eating well, and continuing my daily exercise, will help kick this depression to the curb.
In short, the Master Cleanse just didn't work for me, the way it was supposed to, although it has worked for some, and may work for you. All I wanted was to feel better, and lose 20 pounds in a week like
Beyonce, but hey, you don't always get what you want.
If he isn't sleeping on the couch, he's up and about, eating garbage, pooping all over the place, or hiding rotting food in his doggy bed for a special meal at a later date, among other things.
If you yell at him, send him to his kennel, spank his bum, or threaten death upon him, he either turns his head around backwards to ignore you, or barks back. He's really mouthy lately, has an answer for everything. Sometimes, he'll even slap my face, so I've started to threaten the same thing. When I do threaten him, I sound like Stewart's mother from Mad TV.
You'd think that he'd be grateful. We buy him expensive food, take him to the vet when he needs to go, give him treats, take him for car rides and walks, and I have even given up, and let him sleep on my pillow every night. But no, he's still a bad boy. Fucking teenagers, and their know-it-all attitudes.
