Grace in Small Things #73

1. Getting back into swimming, almost daily.

2. Floyd's Diner on Sunday morning.....best breakfast ever.

3. Watching my indoor garden grow....in a few weeks the tomatoes, onions, broccoli and peppers can all move outside.

4. The flowers I planted from seed are starting to come up. I'm such a proud mom.

5. The animations of the houses falling apart on "Massive Moves". Hilarious.

6. Having a say in what goes on at work, and knowing that I am appreciated, not hoping so.

7. Hell's Gate lager. A cheap beer that tastes good.

8. Seeing the Olympic Mountains from my house. They've been covered in fog all winter, and now they can be seen every day.

9. A neighbour I've never spoken to before gave us a Singer sewing machine and table in working order from 1948. We gave him a ride to the offsale in return, cause we roll like that.

10. Free BBQ! Can't wait to have people over to eat and drink on our deck.

11. Having the money to buy Reverend Horton Heat tickets, and Tragically Hip tickets all on the same day. Now to wait until May, and July.

12. Leave in conditioner.

13. Sales on material at the Sally Ann.

I'm Okay.

My miscarriages have a way of tarnishing my favourite holidays. First Canada Day, and now St. Patrick's Day. What's next, uterus? If you're planning on fucking up Halloween or August Long Weekend, I'd like some notice, thank you very much.

I'm doing okay though. I was only about a month along, not that that matters at all, other than the fact that this time we didn't get a chance to tell anyone, which is good, I guess. We didn't even get a chance to think about it, because the day I found out I was pregnant, was the day I found out I was in the process of miscarrying.  I probably shouldn't even be writing about it, but what the hell. I'm a rule breaker. I'm also strong and not willing to let this break me. I'm moving on, and keeping my chin up, and all that jazz. I am less angry than the first time, but somewhat worried about medical issues, of which I have no interest in looking into at this point in time. I will still continue to avoid pregnant folk like they have the plague. I've kind of given up on my lady bits at this point, and I'm kind of okay with that. Is that a negative way to accept something you don't want to? I don't know.  For some reason, all I want to do is get more dogs, have a beer with my friends, have a good cry and call it a day.

Life continues to be full of awesome, and I am looking forward to summer, and my excelling at my new job,  new opportunities that my husband is looking into, and gardening two gardens, growing my hair long, and beers and books on my deck all summer.

And I'm looking forward to telling you all about it as all this awesome happens. This depressing shit has got to go. Keep on bringing the fun, world. Keep on bringing the happy. I'm more than ready for it.

For the Love of Camping

We went camping for my husbands 30th birthday this past weekend. You have no idea how happy we were to be able to go camping in March. I'm still excited about it, and we've been home for 2 days. For me, there just isn't anything more relaxing, and re-energizing than sitting in the forest around a camp fire drinking beer with your friends and just taking it all in. Which is probably why I was okay with living in a camper in the bush for most of last year.

I fell in love with camping as a teenager. My first camping trip ever was over May Long Weekend when I was about 15 years old. My dad drove his truck and camper out to the lake for a bunch of us girls to use for the weekend, and our parents made sure we had all the supplies we would need.  I think it was the first weekend away from our parents for most of us, and we were actually pretty well behaved. We drank some beers, burned breakfast and let some cute boys come to our site and hang out, but that was about it. Still, it was empowering, knowing that if worse came to worse, I could start a fire and fry myself some eggs. I was all grown up!

Every year since then, I have spent my entire winter planning for camping. I try to get out no less than 3 times in a summer, and have mostly been successful. I was (and am!) lucky enough to be friends with many people who shared the same obsession  interest in camping, and in the late 90's myself and a friend accidentally on purpose started a tradition of camping every July Long weekend together. We promised each other that no matter what was going on in our lives, we would get together that weekend at The Lake.

We kept our promise, and then some. That pair of friends, expanded to over twenty campers the year I got married, and spent the wedding and honeymoon camping with our friends and family. About 6 years ago, the group of people interested in camping with us got so big, that we just couldn't be accommodated in the regular campground any more. We were too loud, and too large, so we started planning other alternatives. We camped in group sites, we camped in the overflow, we camped at a lake down the road with no services. Anything to have our privacy, and do our thing. Our meals evolved from chips, hot dogs and beer, to deep-frying turkeys, home-made wine, and gourmet breakfasts. As we got older we needed mattresses, and better shelter, and propane stoves. We needed more than a weekend, we needed a week, and then ten days. We needed WAY MORE BEER. The original vibe was still present throughout the changes, which was to be with your friends, be happy, have more fun than you will have all year, relax and make memories.

This winter, I haven't been planning the group camping trip. I'm breaking my promise, and it breaks my heart. Living two provinces away makes it hard. I am still saving money, and if people back home decide to keep the tradition going, I will do my best to be there.

What keeps me from being a blubbering mess about it all, is the fact that I live somewhere where camping is easy. Although we can if we want to, we don't have to drive more than 20 minutes to get to a great camp site. We can camp on the beach, or in the bush, or in a Provincial Park. We can pack up in 15 minutes, hit the liquor store and be on the road in no time at all. We don't have to plan for months in advance, and the weather is nice enough that our camping season has just been extended by about 4 months at the very least.

I am so grateful to my parents for letting me go on that first camping trip, and I am so grateful that I found a husband that loves camping just as much as I do. Even though I can't be with my friends as often, I can always twist his arm and get him out to the forest. Even in March.