The House.

My mom called the other morning to tell me that she sold the house. It's a good thing, really it is. The house and the land are just too much for one woman to manage, and I really want her to be able to start fresh, to begin a new journey in life. With less snow to shovel and leaves to rake.

But holy fuck, I feel like I just found out that someone I love has died. The tears come and go, and I feel as if I was kicked hard in the chest if I think too much about it.

I remember Film Star's first Christmas, and we had a tree set up in the family room, and us kids were able to play freely in there for the first time, without fear of stepping on tools or nails.

I remember all the parties my parents threw, that eventually were able to spill over into rooms other than the kitchen and dining room, but never really did until the end of the night, when it was time to put on records and dance.

I will always fondly recall sitting around the kitchen table watching and listening to the adults tell stories, and play Trivial Pursuit ,not realizing that years later, it would be me sitting around that table with my friends, doing the exact same thing.

I will never forget the day that I came home from the City and realized that I couldn't see the house through the trees as I pulled in the driveway.

I will always smile when I think of the playhouse Dad built us and let us paint and decorate, just the way we wanted. It was so much bigger than the doghouse we had played in before!

I remember when Dad dug a small hole, put a tin can inside, gave me a golf club and let me go on to get one hole-in-one after another until nature closed that little hole up years later.

Sometimes I miss the crazy 70's flooring throughout the house. It's much classier now, but not as colorful.That lino was out of this world.

I think I buried a time capsule or two somewhere in the yard.

We all rejoiced when we finally had our very own bedrooms built, and didn't have to share.

I remember a time when there was no grass, no garage,no carpet and the exterior of the house was green, brown and white.

I will forever miss sitting around the campfire in the backyard, and peeing behind the shed so I didn't have to go inside.

So many memories.

But soon enough, there will be a new house, and the new memories are waiting for us.

I hope the new family appreciates the history of our home, and enjoy it as much as we have.

Oh, and they can keep the ghosts.

The Hot List, Continued

Well, it's been almost an entire year since I first entered the world of blogging and I figured it was about time to finally finish my Hot List that I started all that time ago. So here we go, hold on to your chapeau's......

51. I would be completely lost without my Day Planner. It helps me remember what I did last week.

52. I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of a big deal around here.

53. Quite often, when I'm walking at night, I stop right in my tracks and just gawk at the stars for a few minutes.

55. I don't remember the last time I saw some smoking hot Aurora Borealis.

55. I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of having kids some day. I just want them to magically be 3 years old, and I'm not sure about the whole 9 months of pregnancy thing.

56. I've learned that rebellious, misfit teenagers think I'm kinda cool.

57. It's a good thing that I don't really like any of the clothes in the mall, because none of them are my size anyway.

58. I love the feeling of a freshly tidied bedroom.

59. I believe that cocaine should only be done if you are dancing at Studio 54 with Liza Minnelli and Rick James. If you do not have a time machine and cannot do this, then smarten up.

60. I really need a couple more bookshelves. Donations welcome.

61. Pearl Jam rocked my world on September 7th, 2005. Get you ToonTown Bootleg here.

62. I have no idea what Grace Slick is saying in the first line of "Somebody to Love".

63. If I had the balls, I'd get dreadlocks tomorrow.

64. I used to subscribe to the John Fluvog shoe catalogue. His shoes are magnificent works of art.

65. My dad and my uncle used to run the Runnymede Hotel. I still wear their T-shirts.

66. "It's fun to ride a bike!!" (I saw that on a matchbook cover, and I believe it to be true)

67. I screamed with horror when I heard that Lenny from Law and Order died. I also cried when he left the show. I miss his sarcastic wit. You can all stop laughing at me now.

68. I try to see the good in everyone, but I've learned that some people really are just assholes, and there isn't anything I can do about it.

69. I hope that Santa brings me the new Harry Potter book for Christmas.

70. If you ever have nothing better to do, read the lyrics for the album "Midnite Vultures". They are fucked up. It's too bad the "Debra" lyrics aren't there. "I wanna get with you, and your sister, I think her name is Debra." Classic.

71. I'm seriously considering not shaving my armpits anymore. I've been spending so much time plucking my face lately, the pits just don't seem all that important.

72. "Welcome Back, Kotter", could very well be the only show that I liked as a child that I still like now.

73. Have you heard? Grease is the word.

74. I only need 4 hours sleep a day to get by, but I would prefer to get 12.

75. My favorite holidays are Halloween and Canada Day.

76. I don't understand video games at all. But I do kickass at Super Mario Bros.

77. The next big trip I take will be to Portugal and Spain. As soon as I win the lottery or find a Sugar Daddy.

78. Travelling would be easier if I knew French and Spanish. I'm gonna get on that.

79. A big bowl of popcorn for supper is never a good idea. However, I've done it more than once. Ok, more than 30 times.

80. I still, and always will, want to lose twenty pounds.

81. I like to think that everyone has a soul mate. I've met two of mine. It didn't work out with either one of them. Apparently, love doesn't keep us together.

82. I am an Aquarius and a Horse.

83. Thanks to a song we sung in grade school, I was deathly afraid of Anne Boelyn coming after me, with her head tucked underneath her arm, for an entire year.

84. In my dreams, I never smoke or drink coffee, but I stumble around alot.

85. I have a very emotional sense of smell.

86. For ten years, I had a recurring dream in which I was a short, chubby French spy. My partner was tall and bald, and we were running away from only god knows what, through a field. I always woke up at the point when I fell to the ground, and as I turned to see where my enemy was, a hand wielding a knife, stabbed me right in the skull. The dream was also in French, and for some reason, I always understood what was being said.

87. I wish I could drink wine in San Sebastion with Ernest Hemingway.

88. I am afraid of one day being forced to go into outer space, and having to look upon the Earth, and seeing just how big it really is.

89. Not a second of my life goes by that I don't have a song in my head.

90. I have always been a tad jealous of people who are double-jointed, can whistle, cross their eyes, or touch their tongue to their nose. I can't do any of those things.

91. Before kindergarten gave me something better to do, I liked to pretend that I was a deaf/ blind mute, and would walk around the house trying to do normal, everyday things.

92. I am deathly afraid of losing my teeth when I age. I used to have the most beautiful teeth. I miss that.

93. If I take off my glasses, I am almost totally blind.

94. I don't care how you were raised, good table manners are important. And for goodness sakes, chew with your mouth closed.

95. I use a Roget's Thesaurus , copyright 1960, as a mousepad.

96. I have been searching for a National Geographic magazine from the 80's that I read on rainy days out at the cottage. It had an amazing article in it about the Coelacanth, that mesmerized me. I love to learn about ancient creatures of the deep.

97. The next cat I get, will be a black tomcat, and he will be christened Rick James." Rick James! Get yo ass back here! It's time for suppa!"

98. The main library branch has been holding for me, a bookmark that I left in a book I returned for over a year. I had no idea I even owned a bookmark.

99. Give me a pack of cigarettes, a couple bottles of wine, and a huge snowstorm that gives me no chance of getting out of the house, and I'll be as happy as a pig in shit. I'm much more entertaining when left alone with myself.

100. I know what I don't want to be.

Wow. I actually finished something. Hope I haven't repeated myself too terribly bad.

I've got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day....

A Solstice brings change. Change in weather, routines and footwear. Change is always good, no matter how you feel right at the moment that 'The Change' makes its presence known.

Throughout this week of Full Moon and Solstice, I have experienced and observed much Change in my life and the lives of friends. I whole-heartedly believe that my change will result in good, and I can only hope that those I love will one day realize that their change is for the better as well.

Life doesn't always turn out the way you'd like it to, but in every experience, there is a lesson to be learned.

Everyone will be A-Ok.

Go forth and be civil to each other, and believe, as I do, that life, in general, is good.

Uh Huh.

I didn't say everything I wanted to say.

I fumbled on my words and it just didn't come out right.

It's hard to put yourself in a vulnerable position, when you do not portray yourself as a vulnerable person.

You can bet I learned a lesson though.

Tag! You're It!

Well, I am going to attempt this because the lovely Politiko said she'd like me to. So here goes!

1. Seven things I plan to do before I die

* Go to Africa.
* Learn how to plant and nurture a kick ass vegetable garden.
* See Morrissey perform, preferably up close and personal.
* Beat my mom at Scrabble.
* Get drunk with the Tragically Hip.
* Sing in public, on a stage
* Learn how to play golf.

2. Seven things I can do

* Say no to drugs.
* Not miss a beat during Roman Catholic mass.
* Sew my own clothes, hats and bags.
* Play the piano.
* Shuffle like Axl Rose.
* Look after myself.
* Make friends.

3. Seven things I can't do

* Laugh without cackling.
* Stop chewing my nails.
* Fix my own computer troubles.
* Kneeboard.
* Speak another language.
* Say what I really want to say.
* Hold a grudge.

4. Seven things that attract me to people

* Political and social awareness.
* An outgoing, but not obnoxious, personality.
* Snazzy personal style.
* Sense of Humor.
* Knowledge of music.
* Their smile.
* Their 'fun factor'.

5. Seven things I say most

* "I need some fucking coffee."
* "I"m fucking tired."
* "Fuck you Mother Nature!"
* "Ya know what I"m sayin'?"
* "Are you for serious?"
* "I'll have one more I guess."
* "Ya, Ok, I guess so...."

6. Seven celebrity crushes

* Don McKellar
* Scarlett Johansson
* Beck
* Hawksley Workman
* Molly Parker
* Morrissey
* Moby