What I Did in California and Nevada on my End of Summer Vacation

My entire life, I have heard stories about Los Angeles. Most stories involved tales of the horrible smog, the insane drivers, the freeway, gangs, and the like. Everything I read, was the opposite. I read of poets, musicians, old Hollywood starlets, and hippies and lived vicariously through their stories of fame and fortune, drugs, love and good times on the Sunset Strip and Venice Beach.

Luckily, the latter was what I experienced for the most part. There was constant smoke on the horizon, due to the wildfires, but I didn't notice any smog. The traffic was a bit scary at first, but we quickly got the hang of it. And everyone we came across was friendly and helpful. Even the crackheads were lively, and welcomed us to Hollywood.

The beginning of our trip started out rocky. My one and only complaint about The States, would have to be their definition of a "debit card". Going on vacation, and finding out that the little card that holds all of your money is useless, is a scary and frustrating feeling. Luckily, we got it worked out to some degree.....Smyrish put money on my Visa ( which in the U.S, is a debit card), and we were able to use our debit cards at the ATM machines to get cash ( our debit cards are called ATM cards).

Once we had money, we were good to go, even though, by then, we had missed the Ween concert, and were frustrated beyond belief. So, we found Knuckle Toes, drank some Malibu at her hostel, and went to bed.

For me, being in Hollywood was amazing. It is one place, that when I was younger, I figured I would live, even though, that obviously didn't happen ( neither did my idea of living in Paris and drinking myself to death right after my best-selling novel came out). Seeing all of the places that I had read and day-dreamed about was almost as over-whelming as realizing just how huge Los Angeles is.

However, a city is a city, and after a couple days of wandering in the intense heat, and catching the Nine Inch Nails show, I was ready to get away from the craziness.

Smyrish and I finally got a rental car, and got the heck outta Dodge.

We went to the Santa Monica Pier. The second we got there, I felt chilled out. Coming from Saskatchewan, where the ocean is nowhere to be seen, and summer was only about a month long this year, it felt like I had just arrived in heaven. Smyrish took me on the roller coaster, on which I had a mild panic attack, and then we splashed about in the water, ate hot dogs and cheese on sticks, and had an all around good time. We also went back there for our last night...and got drunk on girl drinks before sitting on the beach and watching the waves.

The next day, we hopped in the car, and headed to Las Vegas, in search of Smyrish's mom, hoping we could surprise her, and do supper. We never did get ahold of her, but we decided to spend the night. I had never been to Vegas, and never had actually planned on going there, due to the fact that I don't gamble. However, I am a huge fan of stories of "Old Vegas", and CSI, so it was super neat to be there. I even ended up gambling...spent 4 bucks on the penny slots and won $23.00, which bought us a couple drinks down on Fremont, before we headed back to the strip and checked out an oxygen bar. I am definitely going to pressure some friends to plan a trip to Vegas in the future....we would have a blast!

When we got back from Vegas, the next destination was Venice Beach.

We were there approximately one minute, before I decided that I never wanted to leave. Venice Beach was what my brain told me California was all about. Buskers, muscle men, hippies selling their wares, surfers.....that is exactly what I wanted to see and experience. I swam in the ocean for the first time in my life ( I have been to oceans before, but tend to vacation to them when they're bloody cold), and couldn't get enough. We wandered about the markets after the beach, and then took a drive up the Pacific Coast Highway.....a lovely day all around.

Overall, even with the bumps in the road, it has been a fantastic week. If nothing else, going to somewhere with a warm climate cemented in my head that I need to get away from Saskatchewan. I love it, but I can no longer deal with the weather that makes me all bi-polar and crazy and sad and depressing and so on. Our brains are full of life plans now....who knows what we'll end up doing, or end up going, but at least California taught us that we don't have to settle for what we have.

For now, I am counting down the days until our official month long honeymoon to Cuba. That may seem ridiculous, but January always comes much too fast.

Grace in Small Things #23

1. Good-bye kisses when I leave for work, and the fact that when I just say "More!", I get more kisses. I could do it a bazillion times over, and get a kiss every time.

2. Getting to use work time, to visit friends and family ....and having them be super friendly and comfortable with my buddy from the group home....even when she yelled out "Abigail, I wiped my bum in the bathroom!" really loudly so everyone could hear. :)

3. Smyrish said he liked my hair. That compliment made my day, even though I didn't really show it at the time. I was hoping that he did.

4. Having a banker help me find money, instead of just taking it away.

5. Owning proper mannequins to display clothes on for the summer festivals.

6. Although the thunderstorm I was excited about this afternoon was sub-par, at least it didn't snow.

Grace in Small Things #20

1. Being the supper guinea pig, and getting to test out Smyrish's new lentil/rice/turkey bacon creation. YUMMY!

2. Heading out to The Pub after supper, and seeing the smiling faces of my lovely lady friends, and the Palinode.

3. Hanging with Schmutzie. We always stay out way too late, and drink way too much, and have a great time doing what we do.

4. Listening to my brother talk about his new girlfriend, and how wonderful she is, and how happy he is when he's with her. He made me think that maybe its okay that he is dating my sister-in-law, which in turn, makes him my brother-in-law.

5. Coming home to Smyrish with a bag of Burger King, and laying on the couch together to watch The Wonder Years.

6. Learning that while I was out at The Pub, Smyrish took in my new bicycle with the blown tire, and brought home a whole new bike, tires intact.

Life is good right now.

Grace in Small Things #14

1. Because I never bothered to use the Luiggi's gift certificate's I received a couple years ago, after I found a rusty screw in my pasta, I don't have to make supper tonight. I'm still a tad weary about eating there, but the chance to go for supper with Smyrish trumps my fear of finding foreign objects in my entree.

2. Paying the lady at the laundromat to wash, dry and fold our insanely large pile of dirty laundry was the best idea we've ever had. I would have had to spend most of the day at the laundromat if we didn't, and wouldn't have had time to enjoy my day off. Totally worth the money!

3. Finally had time to start taking photos of jewelery I've made this winter for my Etsy shop.

4. Having a TV that can tape shows for me, has freed up some time in my life as well. Hangover Sunday will be all about watching the shows I missed this week.

5. When we got our new cable package, Smyrish had the fore-thought to get us SexTV. Thanks honey! Now I have something to do on Friday nights!

Wedding Update

I figured it's about time to tell all of you what is going on with this wedding. Invited people have been asking for weeks if there is anything they can do to help, while some of you interweb friends just want the juicy details. After reading this, if anyone thinks of something they can help with, or notices something I might be forgetting, please feel free to let me know!

Everything is coming along nicely. The invites are out, other than a couple folks who we just can't seem to find, and the RSVP's are starting to come in. So far, there are 11 people coming, out of the 180 people we invited. I have to be honest, I would not be upset if a good chunk of people just couldn't make it. It was very hard to make the guest list. We both have huge families, and many, many friends....and even with that high number of guests, we were forced to leave out many family and friends from our special day. I hope they understand.

The caterer we hired ( who I actually worked for when I still lived in Small Town) is going to be our main man. He is doing everything, from cooking and serving the food, to setting the tables, to cleaning up after himself, to working the bar. He will be our biggest expense, but it will be worth it.

The hall is booked, but we have to wait until April to pay for it. Even though the government raised the price of camping and hall rentals in Provincial Parks, they are still giving us a good deal. I am thankful that I know all of the people who work in the park administration office, because they have been a big help getting everything sorted out. They are also going to try and let us in the hall the night before, free of charge, so we don't have to do all the setting up on the day of the wedding.

Wench is in the process of making my "draft" dress, and I am positive that the actual one will be done in time. All I have to do is still lose at least 20 pounds by the final fitting, so I don't look like a whale. My dress is actually being made from the pattern of a fairy costume...it was the closet thing to a simple hippie dress that we could find. I am grateful that Wench knows what she is doing, and can turn it from costume to wedding dress. I was thinking of wearing fairy wings, just for the hell of it. And who knows, maybe I will. I'm weird like that.... or... Smyrish has nothing to wear yet, maybe be can just wear the wings.

We do not have a wedding party to worry about, or ring bearers and flower girls...and that takes a lot of stress off of this occasion. We chose 2 "legal" friends, and as long as they show up, I don't care what they're wearing. (Okay, I do care, but at least we don't have to do fittings and such. That would suck ass.)

My old friend Shmeed is going to be the MC for the evening, and we have chosen 3 people to give toasts. We are going to rent sound equipment, and be our own DJ for the reception. We both liked that idea, because at least we can choose music that will suit the occasion, and that people actually enjoy. The playlist we make, can do the work itself.

My aunt is making us the wine, and I have put my mom and maid-of-honor in charge of choosing flowers and decorations for the tables. I do not know anything about that stuff, and they do, thank goodness. Smyrish also wants to head the decorating crew, so I've washed my hands of it. I trust that the hall and the tables will look nice, and I will have flowers to carry. We just need to plan a shopping day...hopefully when my mom comes down for Film Star's convocation in the Spring, we can get all that done.

B-Rock is going to be the photographer for the ceremony and the evening, and all we have to do is get together with him and find out what he wants to be paid, as he already knows what I want photos of.

Our honeymoon, is a week long camping trip before and after the actual wedding with a bunch of friends and family. That is all taken care of, and now all we have to do is save money, get new camping gear, and show up.

We are going to register at Canadian Tire this afternoon. I never thought of "registering" anywhere, but some friends have asked, and I thought, why the hell not. I am also hopefully meeting up with my friend Pixx Axe today, so we can talk hair and make-up.

Having talented friends, sure is making things easier. I would rather pay my friends, than a stranger.

The things we still need to do are get my ring sized, get a ring for Smyrish, find a JP, get a marriage license (where and when to do this, I do not know) ,work out the little details with the caterer, figure out exactly how we're going to do the ceremony on the beach, and pay for everything somehow. Everything else, we can't worry about until the day before..so it's not on my to-do list.

So ya, that is what's been happening so far. There haven't been any casualties, and there have only been a few minor scuffles about invites and who is doing what.

Hello 2009! Where's My Hover Board?

Well, it is 2009. We're not living on Mars or The Moon, and none of my friends have flying cars or hover boards yet, so I'm guessing this year will be about the same as the last few, globally. Which is okay, because I must admit, I have a phobia of moving to Mars, and having to fly through space in a rocket ship. And, I'm afraid of heights, so my car best be stayin' on the ground.

I never in a million years thought that this year would be so big for me. If you had asked me at 27 what I thought 2009 would bring, I must admit, I thought it was going to be exactly the same as 2007 and 2008.

In 2009, I am turning thirty. I am getting married. I will be planning for children, a trip to Thailand with Smyrish, a trip to Europe with Wench. It will be a mish-mash of what I believe to be married plans, and free-spirited single girl plans, and I just hope I can do it all with some class, sanity, and a smile.

And, boy, am I excited. It sure is nice to have things to look forward to!

This is What I Wake Up To

I am half-sleeping and contemplating staying there til I die. Smyrish comes in to the bedroom and flicks on the light.

Smyrish: Tom Petty told me to get rid of my computer and buy a guitar.

Abigail: Don't listen to Tom Petty. He's a fucking pot head.

Smyrish: I don't think I'll give up the computer, but I am going to buy a guitar. I am going to learn to play it by the time I'm 27.

Abigail: Why? So you can become a huge famous rockstar and die of a heroin overdose by the time you're 27?

Smyrish: How'd you know?

Abigail: 'Cause that was always my plan, but it didn't work out. Look at me now, 29, all alive and shit, and drug-free. That's me, always have big ideas, never follow through on anything.

Smyrish: That sucks. See ya later dear, love ya.

Note: Unlike me, Smyrish gets big ideas and follows through on them. About an hour later, he came home with a guitar. I totally thought he was joking, but I guess not. He really did listen to Tom Petty. Hopefully, before he dies of his drug overdose, he lists me as a beneficiary, so I can live out my dream of sitting on a beach drinking margueritas and diddling the young bartender/pool boy/masseuse, all the while not having to worry about money, because my rich rockstar husband left me his fortune.

For Those Who Wanted To Know.....

The lovely Jenifer, who just got married not long ago, tagged me in this meme, since I just got engaged not all that long ago. I guess she figures that the Internets should know a bit more about me, and the love of my life. Here goes.

1. What is his name?

To you, he will forever be Smyrish.

2. Who eats more?

Without a doubt, he does. Sometimes, I am amazed at the amount of food he can pack away, and a little jealous. If I ate that much, I'd weigh 500 pounds. I eat less, and I still weigh more than him!

3. Who said, “I love you” first?

He did. He was worrying about my super-unhealthy lifestyle, and told me that he was only worrying and bringing it up to me because he loved me. I wasn't expecting it, and it floored me.

4. Who is taller?

He is, but not by much. ;)

6. Who is more sensitive?

Oh goodness, I am by far. Not that he isn't, but sheesh, I get PMS and he doesn't, so I win.

7. Who does the laundry?

We do our own laundry. Although, since he's away on holidays, I was thinking of taking all his dirty clothes to work with me on my midnight shift to wash them, so he has something clean to wear when he gets back next weekend.

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

Right side, as like when I'm facing it, or laying in it? If I'm facing it, then he does. I sleep by the wall, and he sleeps by the alarm clock. Which doesn't really make much sense come to think of it, because I'm the one who uses the alarm clock, and likes to press "snooze" fifty or so times. It might be easier if I didn't have to crawl over him to do so.

9. Who pays the bills?

We have a roomate, Das Piper, so me and Das Piper give him our money, and he goes and pays the bills.

10. Who cooks more?

I do. I LOVE to cook for my man. I know that sounds very un-feminist of me, but cooking helps me to unwind, and he loves everything that I make. Even brags about it to others.

11. Who is more stubborn?

Oh boy, that's a toughy. I'll have to call a tie on that one. We're both pretty pig-headed sometimes and have some pretty strong opinions.

12. Who is the first to admit they are wrong?

If we do or say something wrong, we admit it, apologize for it, and move on.

13. Who has more siblings?

He does, by far.

14. Who wears the pants in the relationship?

I hate pants, I wear mostly skirts and shorts.

15. What do you like to do together?

We've both been so busy this summer, I'd be happy to do anything with him, just me and him. I haven't kicked his ass in Scrabble lately, when he gets back, I should challenge him to a game.

16. Who eats more sweets?

Well, I don't eat any, 'cause I think they're yucky, and he's a sugar addict.

17. Guilty Pleasures?

I don't know about him, but I sure like having loud sex and making the roomate uncomfortable. ;)

18. How did you meet?

I honestly don't really remember the first time I met him. It was either at The Pub, where I meet everybody else, or at my festival booth a couple years ago. Smyrish is Knuckle Toes' big brother, so I met him through her, when she was dating my brother Film Star.

19. Who asked whom out first?

Well, technically, he did. We were camping last year, and he was flirtin' with me, and he asked to go back to my tent with me. I let him, because he gave me butterflies in my stomach, and I'm kind of slutty. A couple months later,he brought me a coffee, and we were sitting on my front stoop, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't sure if I wanted to date anybody seriously, because I had just been burned royally a few months before that, but by that night, I knew he was the one for me, and just gave in.I decided I wasn't going to be scared of being hurt, I was just going to chance it, and here we are. A year later, and we're getting married. I'm so glad I didn't listen to my cynical side.

20. Who kissed who first?

It was kind of a mutual kiss I guess. See above.

21. Who proposed?

He did. One of the happiest moments of my life, considering at first I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack, right then and there.

22. His best features and qualities?

His ability to make me believe that everything really will be alright. His sense of humour, his motivation, his creativity. His sweet ass, his strong legs and that gorgeous smile. I could go on and on. He is just one of those people that everybody likes, and I feel lucky to have snagged him.

23. Tag you’re it. I know she's busy being a new mommy and all, but I'd love to hear the scoop on Madame Diva and B-rad, when she gets a minute.

Smyrish Left Me for 50, 000 Rowdy Festival People

I'm alone for the next 10 days or so. Smyrish, The Nervous Axon, Knuckle Toes and Pocket Buddha took off to British Columbia for the Pemberton Festival, among other adventures, and here I sit, wishing I was with them.

But really, I think I needed some quiet time, to think about this whole wedding thing, have some alone time and just veg out. I don't get much of that anymore, what with being all domesticated and working so much this summer. It'll be good for my mental health, I am sure.

Although.......

I picked up some extra shifts at work, (so I can afford to take some long weekends in August for festivals and camping), I have tons of sewing to get done for Folk Fest, and upcoming visits from friends and family, a camping trip, and dates to get drunk on the patio will keep me more than busy, and I won't be lonely, that's for sure, and maybe I actually won't have as much alone time as I had previously thought up there in that earlier paragraph.

Camping Trip Excitement!

I am getting married. Me. To Smyrish. I know, I can't really believe it either.

The girl who has always had a hate on for weddings, is having one. And I am ecstatic.

How did it happen you ask? Well, in short.........

I was surprised, to say the least, when Smyrish took me aside this past weekend, during our annual group camping trip, and we started talking about us, and how great we are together, and the conversation turned to "let's get married". I wasn't sure at first, due to my wedding phobia, but as we talked, it just started to feel like it was the right thing to do.

We were standing in the bush, at my favorite place in the world, around a campfire under the stars. I figured anyone who wants to marry a girl wearing mustard-covered sweat pants and smells like booze and bug spray, has to be a keeper. Plus, he's handy around the house, and treats me like a princess. He's a super duper awesome fella.

How could I say no? I couldn't. As I said yes, I looked over, and saw that a baby deer had been standing right beside us, witnessing our decision, the entire time. I figure, if nature is okay with us, then I made the right decision.

Smyrish ran and announced it to our fellow campers, and we all yelled and hugged and drank our faces off for the rest of the night. It was a great moment, a great night, and a great weekend all around.

Great Train Adventure '08 (Part Four)

My favorite part of our visit to Kingston, Ontario, was our drunken playtime and ghost hunting at Skeleton Park, after a night of hopping from pub to pub. I love ghost stories, and this park has some of the best. After hearing all the stories about children finding bones while playing in the playground, and people in the neighborhood running into a very angry ghost that tried to stab them before he disappeared, I was determined to be scared shitless, so I could have my own story to tell.

Alas, nothing too creepy happened. I left the boys, as they tried to dig up pieces of old tombstones, and wandered around like a crazy person with my camera, asking nicely for the dead people to smile and say cheese. I took about 40-50 photos that night in the park. I was thrilled when there were a handful of photos that were somewhat mysterious, with blobs/orbs and smoke in them, that I could not explain for the life of me, even after the boys gave me some very logical explanations, which boys tend to do, because they aren't much fun when it comes to ghost hunting. (All I know is, that if there was something on my camera lense, then ALL of the photos should have had these weird things in them, not just a few.)

Draggin' their feet, diggin' for bones.

Creepy pillar of "smoke". I apologize for the poor upload quality.

Who knows, maybe there were ghosts there with us, maybe there weren't. I think they were. Skeleton Park didn't scare me, and I was a tad disappointed. I wanted that adrenaline rush. However, once we hit the Ottawa Jail a few days later, I learned just how scary dead people, and history can be, and was wishing that I was back in uneventful Skeleton Park.

Great Train Adventure '08 (Part Deux)

Although I don't necessarily feel old, my body is starting to get a bit too old to be sleeping in uncomfortable seats, benches and on cold train station floors, or so it tells me. By the time we were sitting on the train to Montreal, after our visits in Toronto and Kingston, I also learned that sitting for long periods of time with no way to put my feet up, was also hard on my body. I am not as flexible as I once was, and walking in flip-flops for 16 hours a day actually hurts my feet, and does a number on my ankles and back. Who'd a thunk it? Not this chickadee.

Other than some uncomfortable nights, the train was wonderful as usual. I love to just sit back with my headphones on, a book on my lap, and take in the Canadian scenery. It's like nothing else. To have Smyrish with me, made it all the more wonderful. It was so nice to have someone to share the experience with, especially when it wasn't so good, and the time passed more quickly, what with having someone to talk to, play Scrabble with and whatnot.

Singin' on the Train

We were both dreading the train ride home from Longlac to ToonTown. We had been very lucky in scoring good seats on our entire trip, but our luck ran out in the last couple days, when we became just two of the many cramped travellers in comfort class. We didn't sleep much, but we did spend the last of our money on beer in the bar car, laughing and talking to strangers and singing to the banjo and mandolin music that Eliza brought with her. It was a glorious way to end a holiday.

It's Almost Time!

In approximately 12 days, Smyrish and I will be off to Toon Town to catch the train, and head to Eastern Canada. I can't fucking wait. I need a holiday like nobodies business, and I am thrilled that I have somehow lucked out and my rotation has helped me get twenty-one days off of work, when I only asked for fourteen.

I am mostly excited to have an adventure with the boyfriend, on my most favorite form of transport, and can't wait to sit down and make some final arrangements and travel plans.

It's gonna be a blast. Visiting friends, drinking on the train, meeting new people, seeing new places.......all my favorite things.

And for the first time in my travelling life, I have more than enough money to do it, and have everything at home taken care of at the same time.

Woo hoo!

Happy Birthday Smyrish!

Today is gonna be a crazy busy day. I have to finish my spring cleaning and I have a meeting with my boss, which I am expecting to be less than joyous. But, today is also the Hawksley Workman concert, and Smyrishs' birthday extravaganza, and those are good fun things. I am not going to have time to do any shopping though, so instead of a present, Smyrish gets a list of all, well some, of the things I love about him. Sure, it's cheap, but what can I say, it's not his real birthday yet, so he'll just have to wait. ;)

1. His big smile. You should see his eyes light up when that big grin covers his face.

2. The way he can fall asleep, anywhere, anytime. Sure, I tease him, but really, I think it's pretty cute.
3. His ability to be spontaneous and up for anything astounds me and excites me. I'll never forget our spontaneous road trip to Toon Town in the middle of the night last summer.

4. Even when he hasn't brushed his teeth, I want to kiss his soft, sweet lips.

5. He reminds me to not stress out over the small stuff, and to only worry about the big things in life.

6. Even though he is younger than me, he never makes me feel old.

7. He is goofy and hyper in a way that I will never be, but I love how his energy rubs off on me, and those around him.

8. I don't care what he says, he has the sweetest ass in town.

9. Our relationship is so far from dramatic, it took me awhile to get used to it. Now, I love the calm and the comfort we have.

10. I tell him to stop it, and leave me alone, but it's pretty funny when he tries to put his fingers up my nose.

11. Whenever I am feeling gross and ugly, he tells me he thinks I am beautiful. And I know he means it.

12. When he snuggles up to me on the couch, he reminds me of a kitten.

13. Watching him with children and babies gets my ovaries roaring.

14. He wants to experience as much as possible in life, and I see many adventures in our future. I can't see us ever being bored.

15. He is comfortable talking to everyone. The crazy people downtown, my family and people he has just met.

16. I love that he writes me little notes that say "I think you're super!", and adds to my "to-do" lists when he sees them with things like "Spank Smyrish's sweet ass".

17. A friend of mine once told me that when I found someone with a VW van that liked to camp and go on Sunday drives in the country, I'd have met my match. Creepy, how when I wasn't even looking, he showed up.

18. Doing nice things like bringing me and Knuckle Toes food when we're stuck in our festival booth, and offering to help around the house or pick up my mom, comes completely natural to him. You don't see that as often as you should, these days, people you know you can count on, no matter what, and expect nothing in return.

19. Sometimes, I just want to crawl into that big brain of his, and find out where all his crazy and wonderful ideas come from.

20. When he is around, I know that I am safe, and everything will be okay.

21. He gives great back rubs, and always helps me put lotion on my back when I am itchy.

22. He is open-minded and accepts people for they are. And he accepts me for who I am, even when I am moody, stressed out and acting like I'm from CrazyTown. He acknowledges the fact that I can be a real weirdo, but puts up with me anyways. I know I can just be me when I'm with him, and I never have to put on an act to make him happy.

23. He loves my friends, and my friends love him, we get along with each other's relatives and we're all just one big happy family.

24. He has the cutest bed head I've ever seen. The site of a cowlick has never made me so happy inside.

25. I don't know if he knows it, but he makes me want to be a better person, for myself, and for the good of the earth.

26. He is one of a kind, and I'm lucky he's mine.

That was way too easy. I could have gone on forever I think. But maybe I'll save the rest for next year.

Happy birthday, Smyrish. I hope your birthday party kicks royal ass, and I'll see you after I'm finished ogling Hawksley.

Little Holiday

I love hotels. I wish that I could just live in a hotel. I love the fact that someone else has to clean up after me, I love the clean towels, I love the beds and especially the pillows, and I dream of having such comfort at home in my own bed. I love the almost-always-ugly-and-eye-gouging carpet in the hallways and the fact that I never know what channel is what on the TV, and how it feels like a little adventure sitting down in front of the tube figuring out which station has CSI on it. I especially love hotels with swimming pools.

But, I guess what I love most about staying in a hotel, is that I am invisible. I can just wander about, checking out each floor, reading in the corner, or sitting outside people watching, and nobody cares. It's the ultimate in relaxation for me. No ringing phones, no commitments, no small talk, unless I decide to chit chat with other readers and smokers who are also hiding from the world inside the hotel.

Because of this, I also get a chance to think, really think, and in all that quiet time, alone with myself, I come up with solutions, and ideas, and I always feel so much more creative. The urge to write is fierce, and day-dreaming can be an all day affair. There isn't anything else to do.

So thanks, Smyrish, for taking me away for a couple days. It was exactly what I needed, and I feel so much better because of it.

Annual January Blues

Depression is a bitch. Abigail depressed, is a bitch, literally. I hate feeling bad about feeling bad, because sometimes, you just are in a funk, and you need to wallow a bit, even if you don't have any concrete reasons about being in said funk. I just wish that I wasn't such a bother.

Yesterday, I felt old. I cried and sulked about it until finally my body couldn't take it anymore and I fell asleep. All night, crazy dreams that seemed all too real. This morning, I was excited about going for brunch with Smyrish, and then there was a mouse in the bath tub with me, and my mood just went downhill from there, which is ridiculous. I feel over-worked, left out, exhausted, and I'm pissed about not having enough time in any given day to do all the things I want to do, and see all the people I want to see, and at the same time, I just want to be alone. Bah, I hate this feeling.

Although I don't really want to go out in the cold, I'm heading out to have a drink with Wench and Becks, 'cause I need some quality girl time, and then I think I'll call Smyrish and pester him for a cuddle.




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Pillow Treasure

This is what was left under my pillow......



Go ahead now, make fun. But I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. And I'm going to keep mine, and not throw it away like George did in "Dead Like Me", when she was cheezed off at the tooth fairy.

Why do I adore Smyrish, you ask?........

Well, among other things, he has a sweet, sweet ass, he's energetic and smart and goofy, plays Scrabble with me, makes coffee in the morning when he is awake before I am, and puts lotion on my back when I am itchy.

Today, I adore him even more, because after a really craptastic day at work, I came home and shuffled into a ...... clean bedroom. I don't know where all the crap went that was there beside the bed, and I don't even care.

I'm totally going to make out with him when he gets home.