Bah, elections.
I used to get all up-in-arms when it was election time. I'd always be up for a big discussion, whether it be about bashing one guy, or how wonderful the other guy was, or how really, they're all just a bunch of douche bags, and what does it matter, really. I urged people to get out and vote, even sent emails to remind people to do so the day before. I thought that really, we could change the world!
Now, I just don't give a fuck. I truly don't. I'm not a fan of our current Prime Minister, and if for some reason he actually gets ousted, I don't think I'll be a fan of whoever comes next. The whole thing is just one big Junior High School popularity contest.
I have been without a television for a while now, so I have been listening to mostly CBC radio and News Talk. Every day, I hear a leader of a political party yap about this and that, and it reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Lois runs for mayor against Adam West. She learns during the debate, that as long as she says "Lower Taxes" and "9/11", people will cheer and think she's the shiznit.
Stephen Harper and Jack Layton have perfected this form of "speech giving", and it is starting to grate on my nerves. All they have to say is:
" No coal tax!"
" The environment!"
" Farmer's rule!"
" Lower GST!"
And everyone cheers, unless they don't agree, in which they will say "Boo-urns!" and complain endlessly at 3pm coffee or beer o'clock.
I will still vote for someone other than Stephen Harper, but I'm just not sure who. I could always vote for the Green Party, but that's a bit of a throw away vote.
I may vote for Jack Layton, based on the fact that I saw him at The Pub a few weeks back, and now know that he enjoys having a few beers with his buddies, and that if there wasn't such a thing as YouTube, he totally would have signed girls' breasts.
Showing posts with label ranting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ranting. Show all posts
Sep 9, 2008
Oct 24, 2007
Burned the Fuck Out.
I really, really need a break from the group home. I realized this tonight, when I couldn't bring myself to even give a little bit of a shit when the residents were upset about valid things that would make anybody upset, and the thought of going in again tomorrow, made me want to weep all over the place.
I have been working at the same place, off and on, for eight years. Eight freaking YEARS. Most of the people in my life as of now, who I consider my closest confidants, I have know for less than five. I have only had one relationship in the past 10 years that lasted more than one. Which makes that a long fucking time in the world of Abigail.
I burn out like this at least once a year, and it is usually in the Fall or the Spring. Over the years, I have learned how not to let it affect my personal life in any way, and I leave my work at work. When my shift is over, I hop in the car, light a cigarette, and crank up some sort of angsty music that will help me clear my head before I return home. I walk in the door, pour myself a glass of something alcoholic, and retreat to my bedroom. When I am not burned out, that's all I need. Today, that didn't work. Maybe because the gas gauge was beeping at me to fill it, and I knew I couldn't, because for some reason I didn't get paid today, which is payday. Or maybe because, I know I need a holiday, but until I can be sure that the group home will be fine without me, I can't bring myself to take the time off.
About a week ago, while I was talking to my boss, she brought up the fact that I have never taken a holiday. I reminded her, that I take off at least once a year to somewhere for a couple weeks. She reminded me, that those 'holidays' don't count as holidays, because all I did was cover my shifts, and I never used my holiday pay. Apparently, I have a shitload of money accrued, and I have about 4-5 weeks I can use up.
The thing is, and I didn't want to tell her, is that I know that. I have been waiting for something big to happen, something that I want to save for, and take off to, and maybe never come back if it works out. I want to save that money, and those days, for something real special. I want to book my holidays, take my money, and then call and give them two weeks notice, while I'm gallivanting around Paris, or Peru or Mexico or Thailand.
However, the more overtime I work, the more autism I deal with, the more responsibility that is laid upon me....well, I have to wonder if using up a few of those days wouldn't be such a bad idea. I have nowhere to go right now, but maybe even a few days at home, catching up on day to day things might not be that bad. Hell, I could drink coffee all day, and read a book. I could finish my contract sewing. I could finally return all the phone calls and emails I've missed over the past few months. Maybe I could figure out another way to make money, that didn't deal with the handicapped...not that I have the skills to do anything other than this.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stuck around this long. But I'm starting to think, that maybe I am just not the right person for this job anymore. Or maybe, I just need a break. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
I have been working at the same place, off and on, for eight years. Eight freaking YEARS. Most of the people in my life as of now, who I consider my closest confidants, I have know for less than five. I have only had one relationship in the past 10 years that lasted more than one. Which makes that a long fucking time in the world of Abigail.
I burn out like this at least once a year, and it is usually in the Fall or the Spring. Over the years, I have learned how not to let it affect my personal life in any way, and I leave my work at work. When my shift is over, I hop in the car, light a cigarette, and crank up some sort of angsty music that will help me clear my head before I return home. I walk in the door, pour myself a glass of something alcoholic, and retreat to my bedroom. When I am not burned out, that's all I need. Today, that didn't work. Maybe because the gas gauge was beeping at me to fill it, and I knew I couldn't, because for some reason I didn't get paid today, which is payday. Or maybe because, I know I need a holiday, but until I can be sure that the group home will be fine without me, I can't bring myself to take the time off.
About a week ago, while I was talking to my boss, she brought up the fact that I have never taken a holiday. I reminded her, that I take off at least once a year to somewhere for a couple weeks. She reminded me, that those 'holidays' don't count as holidays, because all I did was cover my shifts, and I never used my holiday pay. Apparently, I have a shitload of money accrued, and I have about 4-5 weeks I can use up.
The thing is, and I didn't want to tell her, is that I know that. I have been waiting for something big to happen, something that I want to save for, and take off to, and maybe never come back if it works out. I want to save that money, and those days, for something real special. I want to book my holidays, take my money, and then call and give them two weeks notice, while I'm gallivanting around Paris, or Peru or Mexico or Thailand.
However, the more overtime I work, the more autism I deal with, the more responsibility that is laid upon me....well, I have to wonder if using up a few of those days wouldn't be such a bad idea. I have nowhere to go right now, but maybe even a few days at home, catching up on day to day things might not be that bad. Hell, I could drink coffee all day, and read a book. I could finish my contract sewing. I could finally return all the phone calls and emails I've missed over the past few months. Maybe I could figure out another way to make money, that didn't deal with the handicapped...not that I have the skills to do anything other than this.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stuck around this long. But I'm starting to think, that maybe I am just not the right person for this job anymore. Or maybe, I just need a break. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
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