The Year of Healthier Living

I don't know what happened, but last summer I really started to think about mortality, and my health, and how I am not the spring chicken I once was. Not really in a depressing way, but it did occur to me that I am not immortal, and one day I will die. It also occured to me that even though I can't exactly pick my ETD, and I can't stop a piano falling on my head, or another car from killing me, I can do other things to stave off the one thing I fear more than heights or big open spaces, if only for awhile.

I knew I had to change my ways, and the typical culprits of unhealthy living had to go. I had to quit smoking. I had to eat properly ( and by properly, I mean more than once a day, and before 9pm). I had to stop drinking so damn much. I had to sleep more, and exercise more, and take some time for myself once in a while.

I  tried my best in September to quit smoking and drinking. After our last big party in our apartment, I felt so horrible that I decided I never wanted to drink or smoke again, a promise I had never made to myself before. Unfortunately, two weeks later I was back to drinking and smoking and hating it, but doing it nonetheless. I knew I couldn't stop, not there. I kept my mind open to the possibility of quitting these things once I was away.

Once we were settled out here in BC, and before I had a job, I knew that I had no choice but to quit smoking. We had already pretty much stopped drinking other than the occasional drink ( which we have stuck to for six months), so it had to be done. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I have ever done, and the worst pain I have ever gone through. It was two weeks of pure emotional hell, but I got through it. In all honesty, I have had the occasional cigar and cigarette over the past few months, usually when out for drinks. I have realized that cigarettes taste bloody awful, and I know I will never be a "smoker" again. I will most likely still have the occasional fruit flavored cigarillo, because I want to, not because I have to. I decided right from the start that I would never say never....I keep my mind open to the fact that I might smoke, I might drink, I might eat an entire pizza by myself again one day. This way of thinking keeps away all those feelings of failure that always stopped me from being mentally and physically healthy before, and helps me to feel like I'm doing my best, no matter what.

Once the smoking and drinking were no longer a part of my daily life, everything else just kind of fell into place. Living in a mild climate has let me be the outdoorsy person I always wanted to be. I get to be outside every day, and I have even gotten used to the rain, and have learned that there isn't bad weather, there are just bad clothing choices.  I have lost 30 pounds since December, which sounds like a lot, but really, I need to lose another 20 before anyone will really notice....however, it happened without me really trying. Just being active, did it all. Due to our limited budget, we don't always eat as healthy as we want to, and due to the fact that we don't drink anymore, our weekend treat a lot of the time is a bag of chips or dessert on a Friday night. But to me, that is still healthier than drinking 18 beer, and getting McDonald's afterwards.

Now, it's not like I am a big fitness/health guru now. I don't care if you smoke and drink and live off Burger King Whoppers, I just have to watch myself, because I have an addictive personality, and I like to do everything in excess. I am proud of myself. I have worked hard to change my way of thinking, and my view of myself. I am not an aging, alcoholic, chain-smoking obese person. I don't know who I am to be honest, but I know I am not that anymore. I'm liking the new, energetic and happy me, and even though it's not happening over night, when it does happen, I will know that I earned my weight loss, and my healthy body, and my positive way of thinking. With any luck, this stronger mental and physical health will keep me on this earthly plain for a few years longer than I had originally expected.

The Exercise Schedule

Although I have been pretty good at getting a lot of swimming done every week since I got back from California, I decided tonight that I really needed to have some sort of schedule, to properly keep exercise a part of my day, as well as add in some new exercises that my body needs. It can be hard to keep on track, what with an ever-changing work schedule, being on-call, exhausted from extra shifts, and so on. Also, soon it will be cold....and all Saskatchewan residents know that once it freezes over, it is extremely hard to feel motivated to do anything other than lay on the couch, and try and stay warm.

So, I present you with.....the weekly exercise schedule.

I have posted it on my fridge, I have posted it on dailyburn.com, and I am now posting it here.

Monday - Aquacise, 6pm.
Tuesday - Yoga at home, or recumbent bike at the gym
Wednesday - Weights at home, or weights at the gym
Thursday - Yoga at home, or recumbent bike at the gym
Friday - Aquacise, 9:30am
Saturday - walk outside, or walk at the track
Sunday - Swimming, 6:30pm

( Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are the hardest to plan, as I am on-call, and work til midnight each day. I kept it simple, and will try to add on a swim or walk if at all possible)

Extras, that I already do, or will be doing:

Dog walks, daily
Swimming at work, 1-2 times a week, for 45 minutes
Deep Water Workout class, after Monday aquacise, from Nov 2 - Dec 14
Walks at work, at least 1x per week

Nutrition Rules:
No chips
No fast food
I will not keep beer in the house
I will try, as much as my schedule will allow, not to eat after 9pm

Feel free to be annoying and ask me how I am doing, and if I am slacking, breaking the rules, losing weight, feeling better, feeling worse, whatever. Your questions will motivate me not to quit.

First Class Fitness

As summer came to a close, I thought to myself, "Self, you are a fat pig, your self-esteem sucks bananas, and you need to do something just for you, that isn't at home and is far from the group home." I listened to myself, and brought out The City's guide to all things fun, and decided to pick out a couple classes I would take.

I do this every year, and never actually attend anything. Mostly due to my rotating work schedule, which never guarantees me the same day off each week. This year, I have been blessed with the ability to make my own schedule, so when I saw the "First Time Fitness" class listing, I decided that Wednesday nights were for me, and work could suck it.

I picked this class, because I have always been afraid to go and workout by myself. Gyms terrify me, because one, I never see any fat people in them, and two, I don't know how to use any of the equipment. This class, of 12 women, and one personal trainer, was made just for people like me. Each week, we get to try something new, learn how to use all the machines, drop-in at spin, belly-dance and aquacise, and in the end, hopefully each of us will find something we love, and can stick to, to get healthy.

Last night I had my second class. Before we could exercise, each of us had to tell the group our personal fitness goals. I didn't have any. I was supposed to write them down, and I couldn't think of anything except, " Lose weight" and "Get enough confidence to go there by myself this winter." Apparently, I wasn't the only one. Everyone in the class has the same weight and confidence issues that I have. All of us are stressed from working and taking care of people in our lives and never doing anything for ourselves. We're a big group of pleasers, who aren't exactly pleased with our lives. It made all of us feel better to get that out, and know that we weren't the only ones.

I'm really going to like this class, and I'm glad I found it. I need to be around some new people, and do something different all on my own, and if I can get in shape at the same time, that'll be awesome.

After starting this class, I'm really excited about the four Friday nights that are coming up, when Knuckle Toes and I are taking a Burlesque Workout class. By then I should be comfortable enough at the Fieldhouse, and it'll all just be for fun, and will keep me out of the bar for at least 4 weekends, which isn't a bad thing.

So ya, after all this time, I'm finally doing something for me and my health. And it sure feels good.

Happy Times

First BBQ of the year, March 9th

Now I know that it's March, and Mother Nature still has time to throw a few more weeks of blowing snow and unbearably cold temperatures at us, but the weather this week is just lovely. Last night, we had an impromptu BBQ and today, Smyrish and I got out for a nice walk at the park on his lunch break. I am happy and scrappy and feel motivated to get healthy. I love Spring!

Diet Update

Other than my trip out of town last week, when I had some fish and chips and shared a pitcher of beer with Smyrish, (after swimming all day, I might add!) I have been sticking to my doctor ordered diet. It has been quite easy, and I have actually figured out what foods make me feel yucky in the tummy, (pasta, bread and ice cream, potatoes, draft beer) which ones make me itch, ( processed sandwich meats, and fake, but yummy cheese) and which foods make me feel heavenly,(veggies, rice, steak, eggs and fish) by process of elimination. I lost about 8 pounds, fast. Then it all stopped.

To me, losing 8 pounds, is nothing. It doesn't show, and if the scale didn't tell me that I lost weight, I'd never know. I figure I'll have to lose at least another 10 pounds, before there is any visual difference in my body. Sticking to the diet will help, but I've got to find a way to get more exercise in.

I swim, and I swim hard, 2 to 4 times a week with work. First of all, because I like to, second of all, because I want to be a good role model for the residents, and thirdly, I love the fact that I'm getting paid to do something I want and need to do. But it just isn't doing enough for me. I am terrified of going to a gym, because I don't know how to work any of the machines, and I never see any fat people there, and even if I wasn't, it's so hard to get motivated to find the time, with my wacky shift work schedule. I looked into taking a spin class, or belly-dancing or something, but with my rotating schedule, financially, it won't work. I can't justify paying money for a class I will only be able to attend every other week, if that.

I want it to be spring. I want to go for daily walks around the lake, I want to be able to ride my bike, instead of drive. But, Mother Nature says I can't have what I want, for another month or so.

Anyone have any exercise tips or ideas for things I can be doing, while I wait?

Weather and Weight

The second skiff of snow hit last night, and it's still here. It does look nice outside though. The sun is shining, and I have my bedroom window open, and it smells like melting.

I feel like I should be out doing something. Get some fresh air. But, I have cramps, and I have a bunch of sewing to finish before I go to work, and I know that I'll get to go for a walk once I get to the group home.

I want to live in my yoga pants. Which this week, is working out for me, because I've really had nothing to do, and I have to exercise at work every night, and yoga pants fit into that nicely.

I mostly want to live in my yoga pants though, because my jeans aren't fitting. I have lost 5 pounds though, which on me, doesn't count for shit, but it's a start. I have 6 pairs of jeans that are basically brand new. I don't want to spend more money on new jeans, I want to fit into the old ones.

The one thing that isn't driving me crazy at work, is the fact that I am getting paid to be active and exercise each time I go in. Myself, and a few of my new employees made a pact to get in shape, and be healthy. We're going to help each other lose weight, and feel better. Each of us, wants to lose at least 20 pounds. Each of us, wants to feel better about herself.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one. It's nice to not be the only one at work that is overweight as well. It's nice to know, that I will have three girls helping to motivate me not to turn into a lazy slob.

But this week, it's been hard to do anything when I'm not at work. Smyrish and I went for a very nice walk the other day, and I'm sure the two hours of dancing at Modest Mouse counted for something, but other than that, I haven't been up to much, unless someone is paying me.

At least I feel like doing something though, because last week, I only felt like sleeping.