Taking Down the Tree

Smyrish and I put up our very first Christmas tree together this December, and hosted our first Christmas dinner as well. Neither of us have been big Christmas people since we have met. For one, we are not religious in any way, and secondly the holiday is too hectic and expensive. Once we were married, there were too many opportunities for hurt feelings, driving on bad highways, stress, and angry relatives and co-workers that we pretty much just gave it up, and took ourselves out of the game. No one seemed to notice, and it suited us just fine.

This year felt different though. I think that in part, we were feeling more in the Xmas spirit because we were going to be alone. Our immediate families are all in Saskatchewan, and there is always that feeling of "missing out" that plagues me when I can't be everywhere doing everything and seeing everyone. We really do miss them all, and knowing that you don't know when we'll see them again makes you really appreciate people. I think the main reason for feeling all festive, although I didn't think of it at the time, was the fact that we are HOME. For the first time since we moved in together, we know that we are settled. There really wasn't a point in decorating, or having a tree or anything for the first few years we lived together, because I was usually working, and if I wasn't we would spend Xmas at the home of one of our many parents. Then we had our little adventure last year, which really made us appreciate the finer things in life, like having a permanent place to send your mail, and indoor plumbing.

I have always wrestled with the thought of being "settled" in to one place. Settled was boring, it was giving up on life, and closing your mind to new opportunities for adventure. After this past year, I now know that that is only true if you make it so. Being settled is being comfortable, and not in a "I'm giving up" kind of way. Smyrish and I have worked hard to figure out where we want to be.

So, as I drag that dead tree through the living room and throw it out on the lawn today, I will know that even though we have been through more than our fair share of crap in the past year, I wouldn't change a thing, because it got us to where we are right now. We are home, and we are happy, and life is good.

New Beginnings

On Sunday morning, my husband and I packed up the last of our belongings, and said our goodbyes to family members and we drove west. Originally we had planned on making some stops to visit friends and family, but with an appointment early Tuesday morning to get the keys to our new home coming fast, we just drove straight through to our destination, Vancouver Island. It was a whirlwind trip, that consisted of scattered conversation, little sleep and many Tim Hortons stops along the way.  I think my body is still recovering from sitting and sleeping in the front seat of the truck for 36 hours. However, we made it safe and sound to our newest home in Sooke, British Columbia.

For those who aren't aware, my husband, myself and our two dogs had been living and travelling for the past year in our Scamper Camper. A few short weeks ago, I arrived home after working a graveyard shift to find my husband and our friend V-Man frantically moving all of our belongings out of the camper, and into the House of Pain because the damn thing had sprung many leaks overnight. Luckily, we had already planned to dismantle the trailer and use it to haul all of our belongings back to British Columbia, where we had decided many months ago that we wanted to permanently settle.

We arrived to Nanaimo late Monday night, and after driving to Victoria, and having many attempts to camp thwarted for various reasons, we parked on the side of the road and caught a few winks around 2am, woke up early, cleaned ourselves up in a McDonald's bathroom, met the Realtor and got our keys. We have been cleaning and running errands and visiting family and taking in the cool ocean air ever since, and it has been wonderful.

It is so good to be home.

Conflicted Feelings

In two short months, we will be heading east again, to make our way back to Saskatchewan for most of the summer. Even though we still have two more months here, I am already getting sad about leaving, and want us to figure out our plans for when we come back. Because we are coming back.

Our original plans, although not set in stone in any way, included a lot more travelling around than we have been doing. Our original plan did not include Vancouver Island at all, because of the cost of the ferry with our truck and trailer. Our original plan had us down in the States by now, somewhere. But, plans change, and the universe throws us for loops, and all things happen for a reason. We didn't know it at the time, but we were supposed to end up here.

We arrived here with nowhere to go. No campgrounds would even let us park in them, because our rig was so old. We were stuck, and fearing having to live in a Walmart parking lot, or having to head back to the mainland as an epic fail. After a couple days of stress, we found Malahat, thanks to that weird girl in the Walmart parking lot. We have met interesting and wonderful people, and we are starting to make friends. The dogs have a whole pack that they play with every single day. We do day trips around the area, and have even more planned. If we stayed here, we would have something to do, at any given time. I'm even starting to get used to the rain...it is so much better than 40 below zero.

I have to laugh at myself. The girl who wanted nothing but to get off the farm her whole life, is dreading having to go back to the city for a couple months...even a city the size of Regina. I like this quiet, rural way of life we have here. I like the fact that I don't spend any money on cigarettes or alcohol, and that all my interactions are sober and meaningful and not hazy at all. I'm afraid that when I go back, I will go back to my old ways, because for the first time in over 10 years, I feel healthy. And then I feel bad, because I don't want anyone back home to think that I blame them for anything, or think less of them, or however all this may sound.  I needed to get away, and I needed to make some changes in myself, and I did. I just couldn't do it at home. I needed to get out of the rut I put myself in.

Although I have mixed feelings about heading back to Saskatchewan, I am excited to see certain people, and you all know who you are. I'm predicting many good visits and laughs and camping trips, and I have made Mother Nature promise that the weather will be beautiful the whole time we are home.

See you in May.