Phone Conversation

So, my dad called me last night. In a dream of course. I haven't dreamt about him in a couple years, and if I remember correctly, I was just as mentally unstable and stressed at that point in time, as I am right now.

I dreamed that he had called me, and woke me up. I told him I missed him, and loved him, and he should really call more often, as I don't have any way to get ahold of him. He told me he had been busy golfing and visiting people, and knew that I was busy too. I told him all my current woes, all the things I just don't want to talk to anybody in real life about. I got a ton of shit off my chest.

He reminded me that I can fix anything, and everything will work out in the end, if I just quit the pity party, and figure out what I need to do. He told me not to forget about the things I want to do, and to find the time to do them, and not to worry about all the things that other people want me to do,like have kids, buy a house, etc. , because I shouldn't have to change my lifestyle just to make someone else happy. He said that if I don't watch out, life will get boring and monotonous, and he didn't want that for me. He reminded me that risk taking is a part of who I am, and even when it doesn't work out, I am happier for at least trying.

After all the serious talk, I told him about my dogs, and Smyrish and how I'm going to visit mom next month, and how I can't wait for summer to get here, so we can camp and go to festivals and such. He told me he had a lot of fun things planned too.

He ended our conversation very abruptly at that point and said he had to go, as he normally would, and left me yelling into a dial tone, asking when he was going to call me next.

Dream Exhaustion

I had a dreamed filled night last night. One of those nights where you feel as if you've been constantly dreaming...hopping from place to place, not really knowing when one dream ends and the other begins. When I have these nights, I wake up exhausted, as if I hadn't slept at all.

My night started out with a recurring dream I have been having, about Frank, the ghost at my workplace. Every few nights he pops in to my head, introduces himself ( I think you already know me, I am Frank ____, from work.") He will then introduce me to his wife, who's name I never remember by the time I wake up, and then inform me that the reason he hangs around the group home, is because his farm used to be on that land. I usually wake up at this point and try to remember what he said his last name was. Last night, I did not however, and all of a sudden, I was at Santa Monica Pier.

I'm guessing that Smyrish and I were living around there, because there were a ton of people who had come down to visit. My brother Filmstar and my friend Lynn were looking to buy some roller coasters, and bring them back to Small Town...they figured they had a money making scheme on their hands. Apparently, roller coasters are big money in rural Saskatchewan!

Lynn had brought her husband with her, so he could haul all these roller coasters back for her and Filmstar. He wasn't interested in the business part of it, so I took him out on the town. We were joined by V-man and Wench at what seemed to be a rough looking small town bar. After a few drinks, the husband started putting the moves on me, (which he would never do in real life). I screamed for V-man, but he was nowhere to be seen. After quite an argument and struggle, I grabbed a screwdriver, stabbed him in the shoulder, and ran to my car. He seemed unfazed, just yelling after me that we should be together, and he would get me, no matter what he had to do.

And then, I was at work. I sat and had an interesting conversation with one resident (who is non-verbal, by the way), and she told me she had heard about the incident with Lynn's husband, and that she knew he was like that all along, she just hadn't said anything. We proceeded to drink a bottle of wine together, talked about things that have happened between us the past few years, and then she told me she had to go back to being autistic. All of a sudden, she was non-verbal again, and acting like she does on any given day, and I was livid. I wanted her to be "normal", just for a little while longer.

My alarm went off, but I turned it off . I didn't feel like getting up early this morning, so I went back to sleep.

I was in the old record store in Small Town, looking through the cassette tapes. I saw a pile of Nirvana CD's in a bin, and decided that I needed "In Utero", and proceeded to buy 5 copies of it.*

Then.....

Smyrish and I were camping. We had the VW, and a child with us. Neither of us knew the child, but we let him hang out with us anyways. We fed him, and took him fishing, and introduced him to all of our friends that were camping down the road from us. Beckstar said that we had to keep him. It was a rule that if a child appeared out of nowhere when you were in nature, you had to keep them, as they were destined to be yours anyways. I argued with her about how ridiculous that was, and went looking for his parents. After what seemed like hours of walking in the dark campground, talking with the child, I realized he truly had just appeared. Maybe Beckstar was right, and I did have to keep him.

And then, I felt someone lay on the bed, and smelled grapefruit, and pulled myself from my deep sleep to see Smyrish laying in bed eating and talking to the dog. I briefly thought about trying to go back to sleep to find out what happened with the mystery kid, but figured I'd just start a new dream entirely, so I got up, made coffee, and wrote this post.



* I realized after I wrote this, that I actually don't own any Nirvana on CD. I have everything on tape. I can't even listen to In Utero now! Boo-urns!

Dream Land

All night I had the craziest dreams. It was like my brain was off in Opposite Land, where people who are jerks were super nice to me, the dead were alive and vice versa, and things that usually scare me were making me happy and excited. It was eight hours of living in Abigail's Parallel Universe, and by the time I awoke, I was glad that I didn't have to live there.

All the strange dreams, although I don't really remember them now, kind of set me off-kilter though. Especially the dream where I was 30 pounds lighter, and was wearing the most amazing brown suede boots and red jacket. I'm heading out for the day, and that outfit would have been perfect for traipsing about town.

That dream reminded me of a dream I had about 15 years ago. I had dreamt about wearing these funky blue clogs to a party, and the next morning I was looking for them in my closet, so I could wear them to school. It took me about thirty minutes before I realized that I didn't own those shoes, and I would just have to wear my regular old runners. It was a disappointing day.

And on that note, I better be getting dressed and ready to go and face my day. I think I'm in for a doozy.