Rejected.ReUsed.ReWorn.

Ever since I was young, I aspired to be arsty and crafty and creative. Well, I guess I have always been moderatly artsy, crafty and creative, but I have never really done anything with my half-ass talents. I love writing, but I'm a lazy writer. I used to play musical instruments, but in my adult years, I have basically given them up, for no particular reason. To my dismay, I cannot draw anything but stick figures and doodles on scraps of paper. I long to be a good amateur photographer, but I really just don't have the equipment, or the eye for it. However, there have been a couple hobbies of mine that I have kept up with over the years, and it has always been in the back of my head, that one day I was going to use them to make some of my money back that I have spent on supplies. But, I never actually followed through on any of my plans to cash in on something I'm good at, due to time constraints, my job, and my embarrassingly low self-esteem and sense of self-confidence. Until now.

Last fall, I decided that I was going to get back to my hobbies, and spend the winter making jewellery, bags, and clothing. Just as I had hundreds of times before, I thought, if I could get enough product together, I would apply to be in one of the many summer festivals in The City as a craft vendor, and see what I could do. If nothing else, I was doing something creative that I enjoyed, and that would be good for my mental health.

Shortly after I started my project, I got to talking to FilmStar's girlfriend Katie, and she informed me that she too really liked to sew, and that her and a friend also made jewellery and were having some success selling it. We decided to partner up, and our little hippie clothing and accessory business was born.

Katie and I spent loads of time this winter sitting in the living room at the House of Pain, making jewellery, taking turns at my old sewing machine, and making a mess of the main floor with scraps of material, patterns, thread and broken needles. With her as a partner, I gained enough self-confidence to truly be excited about applying to be a vendor at the festivals, and when I found out that we were chosen, I was fucking ecstatic. FINALLY...I had followed through on something. We had to get organized. We had to do this. I had to put myself, and my crafts out there for all to see. And all I can do is hope for the best. If I sell something, that's fantastic. If I don't, at least I jumped a personal hurdle, and tried my best...and had tons of fun doing it.

This coming Saturday is our first festival. I'm not quite ready, I'm a bit nervous, we still need a few odds and ends in order to have a nice set-up, and I have a few bags and more jewellery that I need to finish up, but other than that, we are ready to go...and we're both really excited and can't wait to see how it turns out. Since it's an outdoor street fair, all that we (and all the other vendors) need is a nice warm day, with no rain to do OK in sales...which isn't in the forecast, but hey, it's Saskatchewan, and weather predictions really mean diddly squat.

So wish me luck, and if you're going to be there, stop on by and say howdy-do.

UPDATE: Although the weather was not nice to us festival people today, we did do quite well at our little booth! We both turned a profit, people were very nice, all of our friends and then some came to visit throughout the day, and we had many people ask for our contact information....so they can track us down and buy more stuff! YAY! (mental note....get those business cards done pronto!) So ya, all was well, other than some frigid toes! Thanks to everyone who came by to say 'hi' and look around! Smootches for all!

My Most Favoritest Things About Summer (Part One)

Well, it's still technically Spring, but the weather tells me that Summer is officially here. I see no more snow in the forecast, and according to the local paper this weekend, official weather people are predicting a hot, dry summer. As long as there are a few fantastic thunderstorms tucked in there somewhere, I'll be happy as a dirty old man at Hooters for the next few months. There are so many wonderful and beautiful things about this particular Summer that I am looking forward to, and so many things that I love to look back on, that I got the over-whelming urge to write a list of my most favorite things about this season. And you know how much I love lists.

#1. The Sunshine. Ok, sure there are sunny days all year round....but waking up to sun pouring in the windows, watching the sun set late at night, and catching the great rays of Vitamin D all day long, is absolutely super fantastic.

#2. The Clothes. Tanks tops, skirts, 'home-made' capri pants, sandals. These are the items of clothing I dream about wearing from September to March. And yes, I am aware that you can wear skirts in the winter as well....but come on now, who the heck actually enjoys wearing pantyhose or tights? Not this cowgirl.

#3. The People. There are certain individuals in my life, that disappear without a trace, the second the days become shorter and the temperature starts to drop, and I don't see them until everything is summer-y again. On any given day in the warmer weather though, I will run into one or all of these individuals, at the pub, in the park, at a festival.....and we get on like we saw each other yesterday. This is also the season that brings new fabulous friends and accquaintances into my life...I think that all the sunshine makes us more willing to engage in conversations and shenanigans with strangers. Or at least that's the way it is with me.

#4. Outdoor Festivals and Concerts. No matter what type of festival it is, or what kind of music is being played, I can't think of a better way to spend a day, a night or a weekend, than wandering around aimlessly, hopping from craft/food vendor, to beer garden to musical main stage, just taking it all in. And of course having a few too many drinks, just enough laughs, and hopefully coming away with a new favorite band, a new favorite food, or a new summer friend.

#5. Thunderstorms and Rainshowers. Of course, if there is too much of this kind of weather, it throws me into 'Eeyore' mode, and all I can do is whine about how much I need and miss Sunshine in my life. However, a good hardore thunderstorm in the late afternoon or early evening, after a hot, humid day full of sweat and B.O. is magnificent. Watching the sky turn from blue to that orangy grey, I get all excited and head to the windows, just waiting for that first "Crash!!!Clap!!!Bang!!!" of thunder...and feel like a little kid on Xmas morning, watching all the rain splash down on us while lightening threatens to zap us. And oh boy, don't get me started on how excited I get when I hear there are tornado warnings.....I know, it's horrible, and can be quite possibly devastating......but the adrenaline rush a good Summer storm gives me, is like no other.

Well, that's all for today, I've got to get ready for work. Stay tuned for more listy goodness.

UPDATE: Knowing me, I will never finish the second part of this entry, but I will try, as I sure would like to tell y'all about the Canada Day camping trip!

Weighing In on Weight Gain

So, I gained about 20 pounds of blubber over the winter. I'm not impressed. Actually, I'm not impressed with myself at the moment, as I know I could have started doing something about it a long time ago, and now, I am basically behind on my goal weight that I wanted for summer. I wanted to be as svelt as possible, because I'm sick of worrying about what I look like at friends weddings, family functions and so on. It's probably all in my head, but I really have to wonder what these people think ,who haven't seen me since I was skinny, when they see me now. I imagine, that after whatever function, some aunt/cousin/long lost friend, are driving in their car, turn to their passenger and say "What a nice wedding/reunion/funeral that was. But, wowzee, has Abigail gotten a bit rotund!". OK, nobody talks like that. But you get my point.

Growing up, we were a fairly healthy family, and I think I really need to thank my parents for not pumping us full of fast food, junk food, and the like. Chips and sweets were for Xmas and birthdays. If we went on a trip to a city, we might stop at a fast food joint for lunch. Pop was not allowed, unless it was a special occasion and there were other kids around, as it was 'mix' for the adults, and was not to be touched. We were constantly ushered outside to ride bikes, play in the creek, go swimming, skiiing, tobogganning, play sports, and everything else. We ate healthy, home-cooked meals every single day. It's because of this, that to this day I couldn't give a good god damn about chocolate or Coca Cola,and I am able to keep my salt addiction under control if I put my mind to it. However, even though I was raised to eat well, and be active, over the past few years, I have turned into a lazy city person, who orders out, and takes cabs, because of laziness or time constraints. Yuck.

I realize that the extreme lack of exercise, and eating too many carbs, (I'm sorry, I'm poor. Pasta and rice are definatly in my budget) and drinking too much beer are the reason I'm turning into a whale. I also know that I could very easily drop about 15 pounds pronto, if I just got my ass in gear, maybe had a nagging friend or two who could assist me in getting my ass in gear. But mostly, it's all on my shoulders, and dagnabbit, today's the day. It's time to stop fucking around. Or maybe start fucking around....according to Cosmo, hard-core lovin' can burn a heap of calories.

I woke up yesterday, and the first thing I thought of was my bicycle.* My car was almost out of gas, and at that time, payday was 2 days away. (Now it's 22 hours and counting) I realized that I bought the car for the sole purpose of being able to get to work and back, getting groceries, and the odd road trip. However, since buying it, I have become lazier than ever. I used to walk downtown. Now I drive. I used to have to walk to the bus. I don't take the bus anymore. And so on. I sicken myself. I decided that the first thing I was going to do when I cashed my paycheck, was head to Canadian Tire, and by myself a bike lock, so I can use my bike and only my bike on the weekends, and whenever I am not doing the aformentioned activities that the car is supposed to be for. I was so pumped, that I went to the Petro Can, filled the tires with air, and bicycled over to Delores' place. I felt great. Once I do it a couple times, I'll be addicted. It's my personality. I also remembered my ecstacy only a couple months ago, when the snow and ice started to melt, and how I was so happy that I would be able to go for walks, and just plain walk everywhere I needed to go. B-Rock lent me his discman, I filled discs full of MP3's, and walked my ass off for 2 weeks.....and then I got this evil car. I love walking, I love biking, and I think I just needed to weigh myself yesterday, so I could get my excitement for simple exercise back.

I must stick up for myself though, when I am berating myself. I have been playing frisbee in the park every weekend, as often as possible. I eat as healthy as my bank account will allow. I count the 4 hours of hardcore dancing I do every Saturday night as exercise, because I usually push myself so hard I'm sweating like a mofo and last week, I even thought I was going to keel over and die, if The DJ didn't play a shitty song, so I could sit down and take a break. And hey, I brought the bike out yesterday.

I can do it. Right??

* Every single time I say the word 'bicycle', that Queen song runs through my head. "I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...."

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Ladies, check this site out. Gentlemen, it's not what you think, you dirty boys. :) CheckOutMyBreasts.Com

I love this fantastic music-related blog I stumbled across. It's called Mocking Music, and is chalk-full of reviews, suggested downloads, rants, concert listings......all the good stuff.

Apparently, we're going to be peace-keeping it up for quite awhile. Why not drop a line to one or all of our Canadian troops abroad.

My Adventures With A Space Alien

I have been 'tagged' by the Almighty Schmutzie to tell y'all "Six Weird Things About Me". However, I have thought about it, and I figure, my friends and my regular readers probably already know more than six things about me that are just plain weird, so I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you Six Weird and/or Surprising Things about The Pub crew's new mascot and friend E.T. (Yup, that E.T.!)....who was introduced to us by Red, who was introduced to E.T. via our Hot Toronto Friend.

But before we get to that, I just want to send out two super duper, bigger than life, thank you's to Schmutzie and Film Star for helping me figure out how to post images on my site. Still not exactly what I was going for, but I'm slowly but surely figuring everything out..because you cats rock.

1. E.T. has a bit of a drinking problem. But don't we all like to occasionally indulge a bit too much on a Friday afternoon?

2. Believe it or not, E.T. is quite the daredevil, and regularily participates in competitive skateboarding. However, at the moment he is suspended from all competition, due to the fact that he was caught cheating. No flying allowed buddy, no flying allowed!


3. He's quite the ladies man (or is that alien?), and has a bad habit of pulling the ol' wham bam, thank you ma'am when he's feeling randy. Ladies, beware of his charming ways!


4. He's got a gambling problem that he just won't deal with. He swears he wins back more than he puts in, but somehow, I just don't quite believe him anymore.


5. E.T. likes to play Hide and Seek. He also likes to pose for silly pictures....but don't we all. Just look at that innocent looking face! Hey, wait a minute....what were you doing in the bathroom E.T.??? You sicko.


6. Small alien = small bladder. Once that Guinness kicks in, and he breaks that seal, he's in and out of that bathroom every half pint it seems. I swear, he should just get some adult diapers and wear them out to the bar....it's be easier to carry on a conversation if he wasn't having to run away to take a leak every 2 seconds!

Happiness is a Warm Spring Morning

Ah, spring. Thanks to the warm weather, the sporadic rain showers cleaning the streets, and the birds chirping every morning while I mop the floors at the group home, this has been one happy, energetic girl the past couple weeks. Even though we had an extremely mild winter, in Saskatchewan terms, it still seemed too long, too gray, and way too ho-hum.

I’m finding it very hard to stay inside. I want to be out walking around the lake, sitting with the dog and cat in the backyard, chain-smoking and reading (me, not the animals….they just eat grass and sniff each others bums), and drinking pints on the patio (which I am assured will be up and running ASAP!) at The Pub with all the wonderful summertime crew. Springtime makes me happy, thirsty, and lazy (when it comes to household chores, and other boring wintertime activities), which isn’t so bad, I keep telling myself. Unfortunately however, I work nights, and need to sleep during the day…..which is becoming increasingly difficult, what with the sunshine pouring in through the blinds, and the glorious summertime noise of leaves being raked, skateboards grinding down the sidewalk, and kids laughing on the way to the ice cream parlor up the street. If I keep this up, by autumn, I’ll be loony-tune. I guess sleep deprivation is just one minor obstacle I will have to overcome, in order to enjoy the glorious months of good weather ahead of me.

So far, I’ve been doing alright. Basically living off 4 hours sleep a day, I have had the time to go for walks, become more of a regular at The Pub than ever before,(which isn't necessarily a good thing, but it's a good excuse to walk downtown to be a social butterfly, and catch up with everyone), BBQ almost everyday, join in on a few impromptu games of Frisbee with Frisbee-Boy, (who I hope will continue popping up out of nowhere for the rest of the summer, as he forces exercise on me, which I am quite grateful for), and just wander aimlessly around downtown, looking for adventure, conversation and whatever else the weather throws at me.

I kicked off the season with a heck of a bang this past weekend, with what I continuously repeated was "The Bestest Weekend Ever!!". On the Friday, I went for after work drinks with the girls in the afternoon, which turned into getting locked in The Pub with The Unknown Poet, and stumbling out at around 4 or 5 am, using what little good judgment I had left, to just go home, and not go to the house party I so wanted to attend. The Unknown Poet did not have such good judgment, and attended the party. After learning that, I wished I had the energy to go along with him. But it is a good thing I didn’t, because I awoke Saturday, with surprisingly not a lick of a hangover, BBQ’d some smokies for breakfast, relaxed in the yard, started my soon to be ever-present sunburn, and just enjoyed a day with no plans and no expectations. That evening was already planned for me, so I milked the schedule-free afternoon for all it was worth. However, the evening did turn out to be a right hoot, beginning with a meet and greet and appetizers at my friend Jonny’s, then heading to a Hawksley Workman show, and capping off the night with dancing and drinking too many iced teas. ( make note---I DID NOT DRINK ). Sunday started off in a hurry, with a phone call from B-Rock inviting me to brunch with Red and GQ, so I threw myself together, and was off to get coffee and a buffet full of greasy goodness in my stomach. After eating, we noticed that Hawksley and Mr. Lonely were also enjoying some brunch, and although I didn’t bother talking to them, as they were eating, and I didn’t want to be a jerk, I did get a nice boost of energy from their presence, and their strange looks, as I read from the Taste of Spring liquor guide, and sang clips of 'Girl From Ipanema' and 'Bombs Over Baghdad', which I’m sure was quite annoying to my table of friends, as well as the other patrons, but good golly, I just didn't care. Shortly after B-Rock and I left the restaurant, I made up my mind to not go home that day, and just enjoy the misty grayness, and the non-existent prairie wind, and ignore the dirty kitchen and piles of laundry at home that were calling my name. We went to Value Village, where I found a Ouija board (2 bucks!), and a National Geographic from 1988, that I have been searching for since about 1997. I was so pumped from my purchases, I just had to go to The Pub and show Red and GQ, and then spent the rest of the day socializing with friends and bartenders and strangers, and finally hauling my tired ass to work at midnight. See? Bestest weekend ever.

The week is now half-over, and I have been staying home and relaxing a bit, due to the rain, and the fact that I am addicted to the Outdoor Life Network on Monday's and Tuesday's (it’s Ewan MacGregor's fault). Plus, I finally bought a car on Monday, and am a bit tapped in the finance department, which makes it easier to stay home. Tomorrow however, is a busy, busy day, with meetings, sewing to get done, and a much anticipated visit with Bink and Ryan, who are visiting from New Zealand. Because they are here from so far away, I was able to beg and plead my way out of working tomorrow night as well, so now I don’t have to worry about time constraints, or having a glass of wine or two. Oh happy day.

Well, it's now 4am, the birds are starting to chirp and sing, and the clouds are parting and moving away from the full moon, so I guess that means it's time for me to actually do some work around here. Apparently that's what they pay me for.

Keep on, keepin' on.

The Tabloids Made Me Do It !!!!!

Okay. I'm sorry, I've tried to ignore this whole Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes/crazy-Scientology-cult-thing for as long as it's been going on, but I just can't do it anymore. I've got to break my silence. It is just plain wrong, how we have to be subjected to their creepy smiling faces everytime we turn on the TV or open a magazine, and have Tom Cruise's weird beliefs pushed on us on any given day.

This poor girl is blinded. Yes, Katie, are probably the only person in the world to get knocked up by the famous guy who's face plastered your bedroom walls when you were a child, so maybe you are a tad starstruck. But wake up woman! This guy is a fucking nutcase, and he' turning you into a smiling little robot girl, who does whatever her man says. I can just picture you, sitting at home, with electrodes attached to your skull, surrounded by Kirstie Alley, John Travolta and the rest of your new friends, being inundated with information about your new way of life, and how everything you did before Tom came along was wrong and sinful. If I had a friend that was being controlled like that, I'd have the guy beaten to a pulp, and dragged out of town by his balls. Luckily I know people who know people, so all my girlfriends out there, no worries, I got your back. :)

For those of you who have more self-restraint than I do, and flip the channel before the TomKat (cringe) news reaches your ears, the most recent scheme thought out by the alien-worshippers, is that Katie will give birth the Scientology way......which means she must push that damn thing through her vagina, WITHOUT MAKING A SOUND. Fuck me. Now I've never given birth, but I'm no dummy, and I'm quite aware that it is most likely mentally and physically impossible to be completely silent. I want to go and get her, and hide her away from that crazy man of hers. Ten bucks says, they'd never think to look in Saskatchewan.

For those of you who are saying "What the hell does that mean?", L. Ron Hubbard once said that, "You must maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and child." I wonder if that's how it's done on the mothership.

I'm going to say it again...poor girl! Just thinking about her looking at her 6-foot tall signs of encouragment and reminders to shut the hell up, while her hips are cracking, her back is aching, and everything else, I have to be curious as to what they will do to her and the baby, if she does do the dastardly deed of farting, groaning, or worse yet, screaming out in agony??? Will the baby be abandoned, or discarded, as it was born a nutbar, just like daddy? Will Katie suffer a fate worse than death? Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

If Katie Holmes is never seen in the tabloids again, at least we all know who to blame. Not that I care or anything. Celebrity news is way over-rated anyways.