A Warm Cup O' List on a Cold Blustery Day

1. Yup, it's winter alright. The roads are icy, the snow is blowing, and everyone is walking in baby steps down the sidewalk.

2. At approximately 11:45 am today, in the Walmart parking lot, I seriously considered abandoning my autistic participant with the shopping cart guy, kidnapping Mr. Head from work, and heading to somewhere warm; where the small amount of money I have in my bank account, would make me appear quite wealthy.

3. I spent $70.00 on clothes and a new backpack today. I needed both. What I went shopping for however, was a pair of winter boots and a bathing suit for work. Of course, I purchased neither. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a cheap bathing suit in November? Guess I'll have to wait until January, when the summer clothes hit the shelves.

4. The rest of my prescription is ready and waiting at Shopper's Drug Mart. Whew, was worried I might have to abstain next week.

5. I desperately want to grow fresh herbs in pots in my kitchen. I'm guessing I should have desperately wanted to do this in the freaking summer time, when they would be more readily available, and/or I could have asked my mommy for the plants themselves.

6. Craving of the day: My bedroom is filled with the wonderful aroma of egg nog scented candles. If I didn't have to go back into work tonight, I'd be having myself a rum and eggnog about now. Yummy.

7. Song of the Day: The New Pornographers version of "You're Daddy Don't Know", or whatever it's called. I realized during rush hour traffic this morning, that I can hit the high notes if I really belt it out. Yay me!

8. I bought 2 pairs of comfy yoga pants in the past week. They'll be great for work, and home. However, if any of you notice that I start to wear them all day, everyday, please take me aside, and reprimand me, and hand me a pair of jeans. The fact that they are so comfy, makes me worry that I am turning into my dad (King of the Sweat Pants) more and more every day.

9. Thank you, Film Star, for reminding me that Xmas is coming. I am going to try my darndest to do even a smidgeon of shopping before Xmas Eve this year. I'd say I'll get it all done, but I don't want to set myself up for failure.

10. There are some old friends, that should just remain in your distant memories. If I haven't contacted you in 10 years, and when you try to contact me, I ignore you, it most likely means, I don't give a shit what you're up to. Right?

11. This afternoon, I was reminded how frustrating it was to be twenty-three.

12. Tentative Plan for Saturday: To finally get crackin' on my "Makit and Bakit Bowls" kit I bought two months ago at Toys R' Us.

13. Countdown! In four and a half hours, I will be finished my work for the day, and I am going to rush over to a certain someone's apartment, and hide from this blustery cold that I am not ready to deal with.

Solitude, on a Saturday Afternoon

I don't have to work today. I am not hungover. The sun is shining. Sounds like as good a day as any to get out and do something productive, or fun even. So, why do I just want to stay here in my bedroom all day, in my mis-matched pajama-type outfit, and stare blankly out the window?

Because I'm exhausted, that's why. Too much work, too much wine, too much song, not enough sleep, the past couple of weeks. These activities, are killing me. I'm burning out. Thus, I will spend today doing nothing*,socializing with no one, (until later this evening of course, shit, it is Saturday). I will regret this 'doing nothing' later in the day though, when I realize that I have neglected to do mundane chores and errands that should have been taken care of, as this truly is the only day I have to do them. That's just the way I am.

The truth is though, there are more days to do the mundane chores, and as far as I'm concerned, at the moment, they should just wait until Spring. Even though Winter hasn't even hit us full force yet, my annual "Blah's" started to creep up on me a couple weeks ago, and with such a hectic work and social schedule, I've been having a hard time fighting them off. So maybe, just maybe, a Saturday afternoon spent cooped up in my room is what I need to re-energize. It's a step anyways.

I've started back on my St. John's Wort, and have been trying desperatly to remember to take my vitamins every morning. I keep reminding myself that I truly am happier right now than I have been in fucking ages, and most of these blah's are caused by lack of sunlight, and the need to wear bulky clothes and scrape ice from my windshield every morning. Small annoyances, that become larger throughout a busy, stressful day. Tiny nuisances that can easily set me on a path of negative thinking.

I am finding that this year, so far anyways, really is different. Yep, I feel like crawling into bed and never getting out. Sure, I want to throw the phone and/or alarm clock through the wall occasionally. Uh huh, I can't stop chewing my nails or pulling out my eyebrows. As per usual, I'm feeling uber-sensitive and insecure about everything under the sun, and think that it might be better if I just went away until these feelings passed. But the depressing, 'poor, poor pitiful me' feelings are not as strong as they once were. I'm guessing it's because the good is starting to out-weigh the bad, and I have come to understand, and even appreciate, some of 'the bad', for what it is, and how it shapes me and those around me. And I am even starting to appreciate all of 'the good', instead of poo-poohing it, and thinking that 'it's just going to go away anyways', so I shouldn't pay it much attention. I'm enjoying it. It's nice to be happy. And I deserve it.

On that positive note, I'm going to stop here,(who knows, the positive attitude could change in a second) and go and enjoy the rest of my do-nothing day, with a cigarette in the sun, some nacho's and maybe even a short nap.In that order.

---------------------------------------------

* doing nothing: includes laundry, washing dishes, driving people places, playing with the cats, having a quick game of poker, having an itchy, but somehow relaxing, bath and watching Season 2 of Dawson's Creek** on DVD.

** Judge me if you like, but I find that at times, watching cheesy DVD's from the library, in this case,Dawson's Creek, is a nice distraction from real life. This week, the problems of the kids of Capeside, have been a nice distraction from my own.

Oh Yes, My Job is Very Hard. ;)

This can't be happening to me. I have the opportunity to sit here at work this morning, steal music, and make myself a new disc to listen to in my car on the way home, and I can't think of anything to download, that I don't already have. Well, there is one song, but for some odd reason, I just can't find it.

Now, I know I don't own everything, so why can't I think of anything? I'd love to hear something new, but I'm so out of the loop, I don't even know what's new anymore.
Maybe, just maybe, this whole ability to steal whatever music I want, when I want, has taken the thrill out of making mixes. It's too easy.

I remember making mix tapes back in the day. Our family hadn't yet purchased a dual cassette player, thus, we spent many a Saturday afternoon, trying to convince the entire universe to just shut up for a couple hours, so we could place two different cassette players speaker to speaker (and sometimes the 8-track or record player against the cassette player), just to record the original music onto the blank cassette. Of course, it was always inevitable that mother would start to vacuum, the dog would bark, or someone would call to chat, as soon as you had it set up and started recording...thus ruining the 'high quality' sound you had worked so hard for.

Even when we did come into the eighties, and there was a dual cassette player in the house, the making of the mix tape was an incredible process. We were very lucky, and all of us kids were members of the Columbia Record and Tape Club, so we had alot of music to choose from, due to our massive tape collections. I was also lucky enough to have friends who liked to trade tapes, so when a new album came out, there was most likely someone who had it, and would lend it to you to record.

Anyways, back to my point.

Unlike now, when I can just burn 20 songs, in no particular order, onto a disc in 2 minutes flat, the making of the mix tape had to be done just so. A list of potential songs would be written down first, so I could sit and ponder about the order in which they were to be recorded. Should it start off with a bang, or soft and slow? Should Side A and Side B be completely different, for example, one side hair metal, and the other love songs and ballads? Ah, the choices I had to make! And of course, there was always the question of all of my songs fitting on the tape, and the fear that the last song on each side could be cut off 30 seconds in? Inevitably, even after all the careful planning, I would get to the end of Side A, and the next song on the list wouldn't fit, and another, shorter song, would be hunted down like prey, just to get the project done.

You see? It was alot of work. However, here I am today, with all the technology and free music I could ask for right at my fingertips, and I can't put one stinking disc together. The challenge of the Saturday afternoon mix tape is gone, and with it, a little bit of my creativity as well.

Anyhoo, have a good weekend everyone, I should get back to the mentally challenged folk, and make them some brunch.

Abigail Is Back, But For A Moment.

Been awhile hasn't it? I know, I should have some amazing explanation as to where I have been, and why I haven't been posting, but alas, I do not. The only excuse I can muster up is that I'm lazy, and don't have much to say. And that's the lamest excuse I've heard all day.

However, I have been doing some fantastically lazy blogging over at VOX, so if you feel the need to check that out, go forth and do so at http://abigailroad.vox.com. Oh, and I have like 4 or 6 invites to give away, so if anybody...and I mean anybody...wants one, just email me,or let me know in the comments, and I'll hook you up.

Where to begin, when you have not been in contact with the Interweb for so long? Do I tell you all about my mom finally selling her house? Do I giggle and gush about my wonderful boyfriend? I bet you want to hear about my car troubles, and how I have now put more money into repairs than I did to pay for it? My new job, that is actually an old job? I've got a new kitten, and she's full of piss and vinegar....now I know you want to hear all about that.

No worries, soon enough, you will hear about it all!

Well, now that summer's over, and winter is creeping up on us, I'm sure I'll be around more often. As for the right now, I need to nurse myself back to health, as I have a double whopper of a head cold, which will entail one more cup of tea, and yet another nice warm bath, accompanied by numerous decongestants and muscle relaxants. And if I can muster the energy to go and pick it up, I'll top off my home remedies with some good ol' Jagermeister.

Have a happy Tuesday.

The Crazy Days Of Summer (Part Two)

Six more hours, and it's back to the grind of the group home. I've been on holidays for a couple weeks, and I must say, that until yesterday, while I was baking in the sun, drinking beer with Red and Mr. Head, it didn't feel as though I had been on holiday at all.

My holidays started the day that Mr. Henry arrived in Canada, and it's been go, go, go ever since. Family reunion fun, getting up early basically every day for something or other, Folk Fest shenanigans, car troubles, and Melrose Place type chaos, courtesy of Marla and Mr. Henry, have kept myself and everyone around me it seems, feeling stressed, silly, and on the edge of losing our noodles.

Moving, break-ups, family disfunction, financial woes, and international lies have filled August, thus far, for the lot of us, and have made for some sleepless nights, seemingly never-ending analyzing of events, and a lot of beer drinking.

I think that sometimes, we need to have a bit of drama to keep us on our toes. Although it can get a bit annoyingly stressful, when everyone is hit with something not-so-good at once, it brings us a bit closer. It reminds us that we have fantastic friends who love us, and will do anything for us. Through our stress and our tears and our anger, we've had some great laughs, good fun, and have even picked up some new comrades along the way.

As usual, my mom was right. Everything really is going to be okay, and work out the way it should. For me, for my friends and everyone else sucked into the drama that is August.

Now if only I could figure out a way to get out of working for a living, but still get a paycheck.

The Crazy Days Of Summer

So, I need a big, huge, wallop of a favor. If someone out there has the power to do so, I would like some extra time tacked on to summer. Perhaps, we can extend August by another 30 days or so. If that was possible, you would hear less, "I have no time for anything/this month is going by too feckin' fast",from me, and the world will be a happier place.

I know, July isn't even over. I'm jumping the gun, and trying to rush summer, you say? Screw that, I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to fit in all the fun and frivolity (as well as not-so-fun engagements) I have planned into 4 weeks of holidays/slacking at work. Because I am me, I will get it all done, and have a great time as well, but holy hell, one look at my day planner tells me, it's not going to be easy.

Bitch Bitch Bitch. Whine. Moan. Big Heavy Sigh.

See what happens when I have one whole day to do nothing but sit around and sew and watch re-runs of CSI? I think too much. It started this morning, when I reminded myself that I have to return my mom's cooler to her, so we can fill it with beer and whatnot for our family reunion on August long weekend. Then, thinking of the family reunion, I realized that I have to pick up Mr. Henry at the airport the night before I must head to Small Town. Whilst sewing a skirt, I decided to do inventory on my crafts, to see how much I have to sell, and realized I do not have enough stock for the three day Folk Fest extravaganza that is in mid-August, and I really have to get my ass in gear getting things created and re-designed. Thinking of Folk Fest, got me thinking about how in the hell I am going to keep the peace between myself, Mr. Henry and Mr. Head for 2 weeks. (which is a whole other story on it's own, so if you care to know what's going on, feel free to ask.)Next thing you know, TypicalQuirk walks in, and reminds me that Hobbsley wants to have a farewell toga party for himself before he leaves in August, and I realized that all my weekends prior to him leaving are already booked up, and I will have to either go without sleep, or change some plans, as well as find a really cool sheet to make into a toga. Sheesh.

You'd think the worrying and over-thinking would end there. No way, Jose.

My mom emailed me tonight, to let me know that there has been another offer on her house, and if it goes through, she'll have to be out by the start of September. Although I want it to sell, for her sake, September is just too soon. What with August being so busy, how can I start thinking of the big changes in September? Thankfully, I get to spend a week in Small Town in August, and I should be able to finangle some time to help her pack and run through the yard and fields a bit before the new owners move in, and put the kibosh on some strange Ukrainian girl frolicking in their yard.

Now that MOST of the thoughts of the day are out of my head, and in cyberspace, I can breathe easy for the rest of this here night shift, and maybe do my job. Maybe. Tomorrow is another day, and a day off at that, and all will be well, as usual. Cheers.